Treading treacherous waters.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
You're one of the most capable peoples I know AO.
You can do this, all of this, and stay sober - I have no doubt
Remember it doesn't have to be graceful...
you're not alone - you have SR beside you
Prayers for your mom
D
You can do this, all of this, and stay sober - I have no doubt
Remember it doesn't have to be graceful...
you're not alone - you have SR beside you
Prayers for your mom
D
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
In all my formal education, I was never taught how to let go. How to grieve and how to mourn the loss of change of a relationship dynamic. Or how to face these life lessons that all of us have to endure if we are fortunate enough to journey long enough in this life.
It's trial and error and taught in the school of hard knocks I guess.
I came back to the hotel, took care of some more formalities with what's going on back home, and crawled into the bed. I weeped some more and even threw up a little. It's simply more than any one can psychologically bear at a single time.
And rather than completely short circuiting out, I'm throwing my hands up saying - not today world, not today.
I told my daughter, I can't handle things today as fast as they are coming at me. And my default is to run like the wind down to the bar. I will curl up in the fetal position and try again tomorrow.
It's the best I got today.
But she won't see me fail and give up.
And even in the 11th hour, there is still a parental teaching moment available. It ain't pretty, and comes complete with smeared mascara and fetal positions, but I'm not drinking.
Her mom is not going to be "that" mom.
I refuse to celebrate this joyous time with a hangover. No. Just no. No f ing way no. NO.
It's trial and error and taught in the school of hard knocks I guess.
I came back to the hotel, took care of some more formalities with what's going on back home, and crawled into the bed. I weeped some more and even threw up a little. It's simply more than any one can psychologically bear at a single time.
And rather than completely short circuiting out, I'm throwing my hands up saying - not today world, not today.
I told my daughter, I can't handle things today as fast as they are coming at me. And my default is to run like the wind down to the bar. I will curl up in the fetal position and try again tomorrow.
It's the best I got today.
But she won't see me fail and give up.
And even in the 11th hour, there is still a parental teaching moment available. It ain't pretty, and comes complete with smeared mascara and fetal positions, but I'm not drinking.
Her mom is not going to be "that" mom.
I refuse to celebrate this joyous time with a hangover. No. Just no. No f ing way no. NO.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Nothing more to add except my love. You're an incredible woman & phenomenal mother. You're family is blessed beyond measure to have you. So are we.
Tie a knot & hang on to that rope, girlfriend. As another heroine of mine said, "After all, tomorrow is another day." Cue the music...
Tie a knot & hang on to that rope, girlfriend. As another heroine of mine said, "After all, tomorrow is another day." Cue the music...
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
you know, AO, i wish my parents had taught me what you're showing your daughter: it's okay to have limits and it's really helpful to know when you've reached them and then take care of yourself.
it's the kind of modeling i didn't get and led to all kinds of pretenses to perfection-strength and isolations.
no, it's not pretty; it doesn't need to be.
it's the kind of modeling i didn't get and led to all kinds of pretenses to perfection-strength and isolations.
no, it's not pretty; it doesn't need to be.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLw...to&mode=NORMAL
I hope this links.
I found this beautiful meditation for anyone struggling with a major life transition.
I hope this links.
I found this beautiful meditation for anyone struggling with a major life transition.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Originally Posted by fini 
you know, AO, i wish my parents had taught me what you're showing your daughter: it's okay to have limits and it's really helpful to know when you've reached them and then take care of yourself.
it's the kind of modeling i didn't get and led to all kinds of pretenses to perfection-strength and isolations.
no, it's not pretty; it doesn't need to be.
it's the kind of modeling i didn't get and led to all kinds of pretenses to perfection-strength and isolations.
no, it's not pretty; it doesn't need to be.
My sentiments exactly.
So good!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I am so sorry for what you are going through but so proud of you for handling things with strength. I remember very well the moment my mother dropped me off at college, it was incredibly emotional and difficult for both of us.
Thinking of you, I know you will get through this.
Thinking of you, I know you will get through this.
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