It hit the fan
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Great to hear Mera.
Maybe try to think of it this way -- what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, right? I know I've had some pretty disasterous business issues in my life, but I did learn from them, and now know how to avoid them.
Hope you're staying strong, and as always, SR is always here to lean on.
Maybe try to think of it this way -- what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, right? I know I've had some pretty disasterous business issues in my life, but I did learn from them, and now know how to avoid them.
Hope you're staying strong, and as always, SR is always here to lean on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso 
But it felt so good to hear someone tell me to stop. No one has ever told me clearly, "STOP"
You are vulnerable at the moment because of the business difficulties so it may seem that there is a resolution in others telling you to stop drinking but that resolution and decision is only within you, no matter what anyone else says.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by Marcher13
Meraviglioso I applaud what you said in your OP and further down the thread but the above bothers me. It really doesn't matter what anyone else says, when it comes to addiction our resolve is not driven by others' opinions even though our pride and self-esteem can be.
You are vulnerable at the moment because of the business difficulties so it may seem that there is a resolution in others telling you to stop drinking but that resolution and decision is only within you, no matter what anyone else says.
You are vulnerable at the moment because of the business difficulties so it may seem that there is a resolution in others telling you to stop drinking but that resolution and decision is only within you, no matter what anyone else says.
I know that this must come from inside. My friend and boyfriend also said "don't make a promise to us, make a promise to yourself" However, it still felt really good and freeing to finally hear the words out loud. I don't see anything wrong in using that feeling to my advantage.
My will is rock solid this time. I know that no one here will believe me after the many times I have fallen flat on my face and I know that no one in real life will believe me. That is until I walk the walk and give real, solid proof that I am in fact serious and that this is the last time I fail.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I believe you can do it, and I believe if you have decided to quit for good that there is nothing that can 'make' you drink , or cause you to drink. Anything that says otherwise is wrong and or lying, even part of ourselves (the AV).
It is hard to deal with the missing, urges, cravings , but it is doable and gets easier with time, the part that makes it doable, the ingredient needed, is the resolve to do it . I believe you can do it. Believe it, all the way down .
It is hard to deal with the missing, urges, cravings , but it is doable and gets easier with time, the part that makes it doable, the ingredient needed, is the resolve to do it . I believe you can do it. Believe it, all the way down .
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
Hi Mera,
It took everything hitting the fan for me to want to make changes also. This summer has been a doozy for me😣. I agree it must come from within though. Husband, friends and family saw my problem while I continued. I continued making a bigger and bigger mess. Also dealing financially as well as in lots of other areas unfortunately. It is me that had to say enough and me that has to muster the strength to try and deal with the emotions. You can do this!! I was, and still am, broken in so many ways but am trying to put a tiny, tiny piece together every day and trust that the future can be better if I give it a chance. I have had many failures, frustrations, and pain ful realizations. Hang in there, post often, and know you are not alone!!
Lilly
It took everything hitting the fan for me to want to make changes also. This summer has been a doozy for me😣. I agree it must come from within though. Husband, friends and family saw my problem while I continued. I continued making a bigger and bigger mess. Also dealing financially as well as in lots of other areas unfortunately. It is me that had to say enough and me that has to muster the strength to try and deal with the emotions. You can do this!! I was, and still am, broken in so many ways but am trying to put a tiny, tiny piece together every day and trust that the future can be better if I give it a chance. I have had many failures, frustrations, and pain ful realizations. Hang in there, post often, and know you are not alone!!
Lilly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
Thank you for the reminder of the insidious insanity.
Best Wishes........
Best Wishes........
It has been a mess of a week here, but each day without alcohol gets better and better. It is amazing what clear, sober eyes do for a situation.
The situation still sucks. I am out thousands and thousands of euro. Not to mention the homeowners money which I am not personally responsible for but feel extreme guilt for and will fight to the end to see that they get paid. I know I will never see the money I am due. But in a way I have wrapped my mind around the fact that I "spent" that money on a life lesson about business and also it "bought" me my permanent sobriety.
I've been in touch with an attorney and it is going to be a mess but it is pretty much a black and white deal here, he is in the wrong and the homeowners will eventually get paid. I really hate going through stuff like this (well, does anyone like it??) but it is exponentially more manageable without alcohol in the mix.
I am concentrating on exercise, spending quality time with my kids, eating right and going to bed early. I am sleeping relatively well. I am using some of those Bach Flower remedies, one called Rescue and another for Excessive worry!
Anyway, happy to say that I am not "quitting drinking" anymore, I am just a "non-drinker" Semantics aside, I will always be an alcoholic and regardless of my rock solid decision this time I have no intention of letting my guard down.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Your posts cheer me up so much soberwolf!
I am going to break your heart with this news, but I am not Italian. I am an American who has lived in Italy for the last 10 years. So while I speak Italian (nearly) fluently, English is my mother-tongue.
Pero, grazie lo stesso, mi fai ridere tanto e questo ci vuole negli momenti difficile.
I am going to break your heart with this news, but I am not Italian. I am an American who has lived in Italy for the last 10 years. So while I speak Italian (nearly) fluently, English is my mother-tongue.
Pero, grazie lo stesso, mi fai ridere tanto e questo ci vuole negli momenti difficile.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Just an update. After a week and a half of pure hell, my ex partner has decided to pay the homeowners! We spoke briefly, in person, a week and a half ago but left no better off than where we started. He refused to pay me and/or the homeowners. I left it to sit and he ended up calling me on Monday, 8 days after our last communication. He said he wanted to pay to me half of what he owes the homeowners and nothing to me. I responded calmly that his offer was unacceptable and that at this point we had engaged and attorney and he should just wait for the letter from the attorney, seek his own council and we would go from there. He started screaming and yelling "I'm not a thief, why are you doing this?! I'm not a thief!" He must have repeated the phrase "I'm not a thief" four or five times. This defensive nature indicated to me that he in fact was feeling guilty and like a thief.
I then, calmly, told him I was at the beach with my kids, could no longer speak to him and that we would have to converse via the attorneys. I left it at that.
I am fully aware that my ability to stay calm and handle the situation effectively was entirely a result of my sobriety. Had I been hungover, or worse, drunk, I most certainly would have reacted explosively and made the situation much worse.
Well, today I received a very polite email from him indicating that he would like to pay the homeowners and asking for their bank details. VICTORY!
I know I will not see my money but I am prepared to let that €5000 go for the benefit of my sobriety and my mental health. I simply do not have it in me to deal with attorneys, judges, the police, court, etc. But I never would have rested until the homeowners were paid.
Such relief. Such a great gift on this 10th day of sobriety.
I then, calmly, told him I was at the beach with my kids, could no longer speak to him and that we would have to converse via the attorneys. I left it at that.
I am fully aware that my ability to stay calm and handle the situation effectively was entirely a result of my sobriety. Had I been hungover, or worse, drunk, I most certainly would have reacted explosively and made the situation much worse.
Well, today I received a very polite email from him indicating that he would like to pay the homeowners and asking for their bank details. VICTORY!
I know I will not see my money but I am prepared to let that €5000 go for the benefit of my sobriety and my mental health. I simply do not have it in me to deal with attorneys, judges, the police, court, etc. But I never would have rested until the homeowners were paid.
Such relief. Such a great gift on this 10th day of sobriety.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
