ClimbingOut1982

Had the talk w/ my AH this morning about his drinking. Feeling relieved, sad, scared, helpless. There's been a tension between us for a while now and I'm glad we finally talked about it...but I know he's not ready yet and I know I can't force him. I just want him to be present again. Thank you to everyone here on SR for support and loving words and just letting me vent...

strategery

Sending hugs your way climbingout.

He may come around, but it sometimes it takes time.

Broncosys

That must have been hard but it is good that you did that ClimbingOut1982. One of the things that helped me finally stop for good was hearing from the people that I loved that I was hurting them. My reactions at first were not great but you MUST remember that you are not the cause of the rage, yelling, silent treatment or however he reacts at first. It might feel like that but upon realization he will be mad at himself. Be patient with him and I hope he hasn't done too much damage to you that things cannot be repaired. Finally, please remember that if he does get sober he won't know who he is any more and you will have to get to know each other all over again. Good luck dearest.

D122y

It is sad.

It took me almost crashing my car before quitting.

My wife always would ask me why do I need to drink every day.

She didn't get my addiction.

Now that I am clean I feel I was selfish.

Sounds like you want a sober life.

Prayers.

Dee74

I'm sorry Climbingout.
I hope your husband will have the moment of clarity I did, and soon.

I'm glad you found us tho - tons of support here, and our family and friends forums too
Welcome

D

ClimbingOut1982

Thanks everyone. I know I need to just give him time...I'm just not sure how long...

Bronco - I know what you mean by having to get to know each other all over again. We've only known each other as active alcoholics...ever since college...then my AV kicks in and says "well if you just go back to your old ways, your relationship will be back to normal" but I don't want to.

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship when both are alcoholics, one active and one in recovery? I just don't know..

ArtFriend

This topic comes up quite a bit in the Friends and Family section of this forum. There are some very wise people over there who could answer this question for you. Post the same question over there. Here is the link:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Soberwolf

If you ever want to vent chat or talk you can msg me anytime