I need support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 28
Day 5:
Sober, feeling perfect.
First night with good sleep.
Complexion is starting losing red colour.
Anxiety is gone. Still far from serenity.
Isn't easy to fill up the void that booze used to fill thus careful planning for each day is necessary. I HAVE a plan for today. "I am not drinking today" is on top of it.
Sober, feeling perfect.
First night with good sleep.
Complexion is starting losing red colour.
Anxiety is gone. Still far from serenity.
Isn't easy to fill up the void that booze used to fill thus careful planning for each day is necessary. I HAVE a plan for today. "I am not drinking today" is on top of it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Well done on getting to day five. There must have been something in your plan so far that has worked. Make a note of it and keep using it.
It's not surprising that you still feel far from serenity but a bit of sleep and less anxiety shows you're on the right track.
Apart from all your new friends on SR, do you have people you can turn to for face to face support?
It's not surprising that you still feel far from serenity but a bit of sleep and less anxiety shows you're on the right track.
Apart from all your new friends on SR, do you have people you can turn to for face to face support?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 32
A belated welcome 
Huge congrats on day 6!
This thread has really helped me and has some fab ideas. I'm also in the early days (day 2 to be precise after a relapse the on Tuesday) but it's a weird one for me as I can go 5/6 days without properly thinking of drink then BAM the cravings hit me like a tidal wave and I don't know when to stop.
So I guess for me it's just avoiding situations where I can buy drink as soon as that wave hits. I plan to not go into any supermarkets alone (as soon as I feel I need essentials for my home I need to ask my husband to go shopping with me that night), plan to work every weekend for the next few weekends as that's my most tempting time and I am going to my first AA meeting tonight.
Do you have any AA meetings locally to you? I am very nervous but enthused that a lot of people have told me that people tend to be really friendly and exchange their numbers with you, offer to share lifts to diff meetings etc. And that will go a way towards combatting any lonely spells I reckon
Huge congrats on day 6! This thread has really helped me and has some fab ideas. I'm also in the early days (day 2 to be precise after a relapse the on Tuesday) but it's a weird one for me as I can go 5/6 days without properly thinking of drink then BAM the cravings hit me like a tidal wave and I don't know when to stop.
So I guess for me it's just avoiding situations where I can buy drink as soon as that wave hits. I plan to not go into any supermarkets alone (as soon as I feel I need essentials for my home I need to ask my husband to go shopping with me that night), plan to work every weekend for the next few weekends as that's my most tempting time and I am going to my first AA meeting tonight.
Do you have any AA meetings locally to you? I am very nervous but enthused that a lot of people have told me that people tend to be really friendly and exchange their numbers with you, offer to share lifts to diff meetings etc. And that will go a way towards combatting any lonely spells I reckon
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Karol
Well done on your terrific progress, and for making the decision to start a new sober life.
I'm only about 3 months in to this sobriety business, but you asked about methods for getting through the early days.
There are so many different approaches you can explore, all of which are discussed here in SR. In my case someone mentioned AVRT and I read the Crash Course on the website I found after looking up AVRT online. Did the trick for me. Recognising that the voice telling me "go on, have a drink" was coming from a primitive part of me, the inner part of the brain that just wants pleasure at any cost, and I don't need to listen to it. I also don't need to try and stop that voice from talking. It can say what it wants. But IT isn't capable of lifting up that glass, or opening that bottle, without my help. And I don't drink, so that ain't gonna happen.
It also helped me to think how ultimately, all I'm doing is not drinking right now. Because it's always right now, that means I'll never drink again, but doesn't feel as big a deal this way. For me, I feel I've just had to make one decision and I can now move on with my new life without worrying about some distant mountain I need to climb, which could easily feel too much to cope with at first.
And it does get easier, because life is definitely better without alcohol, and ultimately that inner voice's job will get harder and harder as you see for yourself how much it's been lying to you about that.
Hope this makes some kind of sense!
Well done on your terrific progress, and for making the decision to start a new sober life.
I'm only about 3 months in to this sobriety business, but you asked about methods for getting through the early days.
There are so many different approaches you can explore, all of which are discussed here in SR. In my case someone mentioned AVRT and I read the Crash Course on the website I found after looking up AVRT online. Did the trick for me. Recognising that the voice telling me "go on, have a drink" was coming from a primitive part of me, the inner part of the brain that just wants pleasure at any cost, and I don't need to listen to it. I also don't need to try and stop that voice from talking. It can say what it wants. But IT isn't capable of lifting up that glass, or opening that bottle, without my help. And I don't drink, so that ain't gonna happen.
It also helped me to think how ultimately, all I'm doing is not drinking right now. Because it's always right now, that means I'll never drink again, but doesn't feel as big a deal this way. For me, I feel I've just had to make one decision and I can now move on with my new life without worrying about some distant mountain I need to climb, which could easily feel too much to cope with at first.
And it does get easier, because life is definitely better without alcohol, and ultimately that inner voice's job will get harder and harder as you see for yourself how much it's been lying to you about that.
Hope this makes some kind of sense!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by OpenTuning 
Hi Karol
Well done on your terrific progress, and for making the decision to start a new sober life.
I'm only about 3 months in to this sobriety business, but you asked about methods for getting through the early days.
There are so many different approaches you can explore, all of which are discussed here in SR. In my case someone mentioned AVRT and I read the Crash Course on the website I found after looking up AVRT online. Did the trick for me. Recognising that the voice telling me "go on, have a drink" was coming from a primitive part of me, the inner part of the brain that just wants pleasure at any cost, and I don't need to listen to it. I also don't need to try and stop that voice from talking. It can say what it wants. But IT isn't capable of lifting up that glass, or opening that bottle, without my help. And I don't drink, so that ain't gonna happen.
It also helped me to think how ultimately, all I'm doing is not drinking right now. Because it's always right now, that means I'll never drink again, but doesn't feel as big a deal this way. For me, I feel I've just had to make one decision and I can now move on with my new life without worrying about some distant mountain I need to climb, which could easily feel too much to cope with at first.
And it does get easier, because life is definitely better without alcohol, and ultimately that inner voice's job will get harder and harder as you see for yourself how much it's been lying to you about that.
Hope this makes some kind of sense!
Well done on your terrific progress, and for making the decision to start a new sober life.
I'm only about 3 months in to this sobriety business, but you asked about methods for getting through the early days.
There are so many different approaches you can explore, all of which are discussed here in SR. In my case someone mentioned AVRT and I read the Crash Course on the website I found after looking up AVRT online. Did the trick for me. Recognising that the voice telling me "go on, have a drink" was coming from a primitive part of me, the inner part of the brain that just wants pleasure at any cost, and I don't need to listen to it. I also don't need to try and stop that voice from talking. It can say what it wants. But IT isn't capable of lifting up that glass, or opening that bottle, without my help. And I don't drink, so that ain't gonna happen.
It also helped me to think how ultimately, all I'm doing is not drinking right now. Because it's always right now, that means I'll never drink again, but doesn't feel as big a deal this way. For me, I feel I've just had to make one decision and I can now move on with my new life without worrying about some distant mountain I need to climb, which could easily feel too much to cope with at first.
And it does get easier, because life is definitely better without alcohol, and ultimately that inner voice's job will get harder and harder as you see for yourself how much it's been lying to you about that.
Hope this makes some kind of sense!
So far I stick to 'one day at a time' strategy and careful planning of daily activities.
BTW: I know what' s like not to drink for a while - in May 2014 I broke more than a 5-month pause in drinking. I consciously say 'pause', because it was just a pause in drinking to provide me with evidence that 'I don't have a problem', I'm not an alcoholic'. Fake evidence it was.
I think that major achievement so far has been understanding.
I do have a problem.
I'm an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by Karol
I am also exploring AvRT, AA is not an option for me.
So far I stick to 'one day at a time' strategy and careful planning of daily activities.
BTW: I know what' s like not to drink for a while - in May 2014 I broke more than a 5-month pause in drinking. I consciously say 'pause', because it was just a pause in drinking to provide me with evidence that 'I don't have a problem', I'm not an alcoholic'. Fake evidence it was.
I think that major achievement so far has been understanding.
I do have a problem.
I'm an alcoholic.
So far I stick to 'one day at a time' strategy and careful planning of daily activities.
BTW: I know what' s like not to drink for a while - in May 2014 I broke more than a 5-month pause in drinking. I consciously say 'pause', because it was just a pause in drinking to provide me with evidence that 'I don't have a problem', I'm not an alcoholic'. Fake evidence it was.
I think that major achievement so far has been understanding.
I do have a problem.
I'm an alcoholic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 28
I am on day 7.
I'm staying sober. I have not had any urges to drink. The other way round - my urges are not to drink. I must be careful though. This is how my first days/weeks always looked lke the previous times of my 'never-drink-agains'. Happy, full of power, strength, commitments, withdrawals gone.... The longest I stayed without booze was 5 months. Meaning that I must spend a little more time to identify what i had done (or had not done) those previous times that made me relapse.
One thing I think i 've resolved: did not stick to firmly to 'one day at a time' previously. Now i'm working to totally change my perception of time. There is no tomorrow, next week, month or year. Only today counts. Precisely, approximately 16 hours of the day when I'm awake and conscious to say 'one day at a time' - and stick to it.
Of course that's not all, just the beginning, but very important beginning.
I'm staying sober. I have not had any urges to drink. The other way round - my urges are not to drink. I must be careful though. This is how my first days/weeks always looked lke the previous times of my 'never-drink-agains'. Happy, full of power, strength, commitments, withdrawals gone.... The longest I stayed without booze was 5 months. Meaning that I must spend a little more time to identify what i had done (or had not done) those previous times that made me relapse.
One thing I think i 've resolved: did not stick to firmly to 'one day at a time' previously. Now i'm working to totally change my perception of time. There is no tomorrow, next week, month or year. Only today counts. Precisely, approximately 16 hours of the day when I'm awake and conscious to say 'one day at a time' - and stick to it.
Of course that's not all, just the beginning, but very important beginning.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Well done on seven days. As you say, a good achievement and I'm pleased you're revising how you think about time.
A few days ago you said AA is not an option for you although you said that you are an alcoholic. Would you like to share anything more about that? It's an area many of us here have thought about and we have a diversity of opinions!
A few days ago you said AA is not an option for you although you said that you are an alcoholic. Would you like to share anything more about that? It's an area many of us here have thought about and we have a diversity of opinions!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by endlesspatience
Well done on seven days. As you say, a good achievement and I'm pleased you're revising how you think about time.
A few days ago you said AA is not an option for you although you said that you are an alcoholic. Would you like to share anything more about that? It's an area many of us here have thought about and we have a diversity of opinions!
A few days ago you said AA is not an option for you although you said that you are an alcoholic. Would you like to share anything more about that? It's an area many of us here have thought about and we have a diversity of opinions!
. I'm unsociable, reclusive, and cannot imagine myself being part of AA community. I believe (i know) they help but cannot overcome my fear. In my country many people say that there is no way to stay off booze too long unless you join AA and attend their meetings regularly. I don' believe its true. I truly believe there are altenatives.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 28
I am very grateful for every single word on this thread so far but I have selected the quotes that I like most (in chronological order):
1) Stay strong - 1 day at a time they will add up , before you know it !!
2) Pick up two new hobbies.
3) Welcome to the best decision you ever made.
4) You are totally capable of doing this!
5) Make a plan.
6) get through these few hard days and you will NEVER have to do this again!
7) Remember, HALT..hungry, angry, lonely, tired...all of these things set you up for a craving...try to avoid all.
8) What helped me in the beginning was immersing myself in recovery.
9) I always keep in mind that cravings pass and when they came I was prepared and had some type of distraction ready.
10) If you are tired get up and walk very briskly for 15 minutes. It is an energy boost like you would not believe. If that is not an option I would hop onto SR, or even try something like Lumosity.
11) Well done on getting to day five. There must have been something in your plan so far that has worked. Make a note of it and keep using it.
12) Recognising that the voice telling me "go on, have a drink" was coming from a primitive part of me, the inner part of the brain that just wants pleasure at any cost, and I don't need to listen to it. I also don't need to try and stop that voice from talking. It can say what it wants. But IT isn't capable of lifting up that glass, or opening that bottle, without my help. And I don't drink, so that ain't gonna happen.
1) Stay strong - 1 day at a time they will add up , before you know it !!
2) Pick up two new hobbies.
3) Welcome to the best decision you ever made.
4) You are totally capable of doing this!
5) Make a plan.
6) get through these few hard days and you will NEVER have to do this again!
7) Remember, HALT..hungry, angry, lonely, tired...all of these things set you up for a craving...try to avoid all.
8) What helped me in the beginning was immersing myself in recovery.
9) I always keep in mind that cravings pass and when they came I was prepared and had some type of distraction ready.
10) If you are tired get up and walk very briskly for 15 minutes. It is an energy boost like you would not believe. If that is not an option I would hop onto SR, or even try something like Lumosity.
11) Well done on getting to day five. There must have been something in your plan so far that has worked. Make a note of it and keep using it.
12) Recognising that the voice telling me "go on, have a drink" was coming from a primitive part of me, the inner part of the brain that just wants pleasure at any cost, and I don't need to listen to it. I also don't need to try and stop that voice from talking. It can say what it wants. But IT isn't capable of lifting up that glass, or opening that bottle, without my help. And I don't drink, so that ain't gonna happen.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Well done on getting through that tricky first week.
One thought. While it makes a lot of sense to try and learn lessons from the past, I would think of this as a fresh start, and not give that 5 month milestone any extra significance. I genuinely believe your best chance of recovery is when, in your heart of hearts, you know you do not drink and will not drink again. If part of you is thinking "I won't know I've really quit until I've passed my previous personal best, because I've relapsed before" then that leaves an element of doubt that I don't think is helpful. Set that confidence level at 100% that you are now a non-drinker. And you can keep proving that to yourself one day at a time.
One thought. While it makes a lot of sense to try and learn lessons from the past, I would think of this as a fresh start, and not give that 5 month milestone any extra significance. I genuinely believe your best chance of recovery is when, in your heart of hearts, you know you do not drink and will not drink again. If part of you is thinking "I won't know I've really quit until I've passed my previous personal best, because I've relapsed before" then that leaves an element of doubt that I don't think is helpful. Set that confidence level at 100% that you are now a non-drinker. And you can keep proving that to yourself one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Karol
... I'm unsociable, reclusive, and cannot imagine myself being part of AA community. ...
The little book 'Living Sober' was really helpful to me (and still is). You can buy it very cheaply from Amazon but it's also free to read here... Alcoholics Anonymous : Living Sober
Wishing you all the best in your recovery. You're doing really well.
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