My resolve seems to be failing
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
My resolve seems to be failing
I have been good and clean for a week or so. I am starting to feel very depressed again which is a huge trigger for me. I guess it is the 3 year anniversary coming up.
I know I won't hear anything from my brothers or my extended family. Don't know why I continue to hope things will change.
I know I won't hear anything from my brothers or my extended family. Don't know why I continue to hope things will change.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
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Well another issue is that I was reassessed at a different clinic for therapy about 2 weeks ago and haven't heard from them. I called today and they said I will have to wait. WTH?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
You know some hard days are coming up, and you know drinking does not help....so you're in a really good position to make some plans to deal with those difficult emotions now.
Your family may not call - that says more about them than you - but your SR family will always be here
Maybe it's worth calling the clinic again and explaining your situation?
D
Your family may not call - that says more about them than you - but your SR family will always be here
Maybe it's worth calling the clinic again and explaining your situation?
D
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
I'd pester the clinic about setting a date for the assessment and next steps. It's hard to imagine why they need more than two weeks.
It can be so frustrating. My mother is elderly and frail. Not long ago, she had a visit with an ophthalmologist and some further steps need to be taken. I contacted her primary doc to talk about it in advance of her recent check-up with him. The eye doctor's practice never sent the report to her primary. Argghh. I'm not sure what would have happened had I not called though it's frustrating to think the answer may have been "nothing."
It can be so frustrating. My mother is elderly and frail. Not long ago, she had a visit with an ophthalmologist and some further steps need to be taken. I contacted her primary doc to talk about it in advance of her recent check-up with him. The eye doctor's practice never sent the report to her primary. Argghh. I'm not sure what would have happened had I not called though it's frustrating to think the answer may have been "nothing."
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I may do that Dee and Venecia. If they give me the runaround, I might have to look into something else. Have a hissy fit and scream I need help now!
Thanks Wolfie... you are too sweet!
Thanks Wolfie... you are too sweet!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Art with the three year anniversary coming up have you considered doing something to commemorate that in a memorable and proactive way? It helps me on the anniversary of my Dad's death 16 years ago.
As for the family, frankly, why give them another thought? Could you call someone and have them eat lunch or dinner with you on the day?
AV loves for us to sit around and wait for events and situations that stress us, AV does not like it when instead we act first. Resolve is our sober muscle and, like all muscles, it becomes stronger the more we use it. The best thing about resolve is that it need never run out, there is always more.
As for the family, frankly, why give them another thought? Could you call someone and have them eat lunch or dinner with you on the day?
AV loves for us to sit around and wait for events and situations that stress us, AV does not like it when instead we act first. Resolve is our sober muscle and, like all muscles, it becomes stronger the more we use it. The best thing about resolve is that it need never run out, there is always more.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi AF, sorry you are feeling uncertain. I would maybe go back and re-read some of your old threads everyday and when you have urges to reinforce the awareness that this is a recurring pattern.
On the slow processing clinic... are you looking for individual therapy or something else? If the former, perhaps also consider doing your own search and contacting potentially interesting therapists yourself, ask for a consultation (many offer it for free). This is what gave me good results, I did not have real success with clinics and when they were supposed to assign someone to me. I did a ton of research on the candidates I found interesting online before contacting them. They all offered me a consultation within 5-10 days from first contact and afterward most were eager to get back to me by themselves to see if I wanted to continue. This type of search of course limited me to ones that have a lot of online presence, but I never regretted it. There are also therapists that offer telephone or Skype sessions -- might be something to consider if you need help while at home, at predictably difficult times?
On the slow processing clinic... are you looking for individual therapy or something else? If the former, perhaps also consider doing your own search and contacting potentially interesting therapists yourself, ask for a consultation (many offer it for free). This is what gave me good results, I did not have real success with clinics and when they were supposed to assign someone to me. I did a ton of research on the candidates I found interesting online before contacting them. They all offered me a consultation within 5-10 days from first contact and afterward most were eager to get back to me by themselves to see if I wanted to continue. This type of search of course limited me to ones that have a lot of online presence, but I never regretted it. There are also therapists that offer telephone or Skype sessions -- might be something to consider if you need help while at home, at predictably difficult times?
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Marcher - I tried to do that last year (commemorate) and ended up in bottle of booze. It is a very good idea, but it can also be a double-edged sword. I have my mom and grandmother to focus on as they died hours apart. It is a huge loss. I will try to do something... My very best friend will be out of town that day, unfortunately. I do have a dermatology appt. Probably doesn't want to do therapy tho.
Aellyce - I was thinking of doing exactly what you suggested. I haven't had much luck with clinics...however I am limited in terms of insurance options. At this point I have to do whatever I can to get thru this.
Thanks everyone!
Aellyce - I was thinking of doing exactly what you suggested. I haven't had much luck with clinics...however I am limited in terms of insurance options. At this point I have to do whatever I can to get thru this.
Thanks everyone!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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AF, be prepared that your family might not call and try to find a way that you think you can get through that anniversary without drinking. Maybe it's time to make new memories and do something significant to commemorate the anniversary. We're here for you!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
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Would your mom and grandmother want you wallowing in a vat of booze?? I know my mom wouldn't, so I toast her with fizzy water. I call my brother sometimes, but he never calls me. It is what it is.
I'm sorry this is tough, I've been there. But there's only one way out of this mess and it's to recover. Have no fear with the clinic folks, what have you got to lose?
Big hugs.
I'm sorry this is tough, I've been there. But there's only one way out of this mess and it's to recover. Have no fear with the clinic folks, what have you got to lose?
Big hugs.
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Location: Dallas, Texas
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I am asking earnestly - what can I do to "make new memories" and "do something to commemorate the anniversary" in a positive way? I don't seem to be able to come up with anything at the moment.
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I've gone out with friends and toasted her, I've toasted her with my partner only, one particularly bad year I went to her grave with a meal, sat right on there and talked to her.
You can do something really good for others in her honor. Turn it positive.
You can do something really good for others in her honor. Turn it positive.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend 
I am asking earnestly - what can I do to "make new memories" and "do something to commemorate the anniversary" in a positive way? I don't seem to be able to come up with anything at the moment.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,840
You are stronger than you think, dear friend.
And you have formed a family here; lean on us.
Some suggestions to honor your sister and mother:
Take some packaged foods and canned goods to a soup kitchen.
Take some flowers (or a simple care package with hand lotion, a box of cookies, a fancy soap bar) to a nursing home and ask that they or it be given to the loneliest of residents (sign your sister's and mother's name).
And you have formed a family here; lean on us.
Some suggestions to honor your sister and mother:
Take some packaged foods and canned goods to a soup kitchen.
Take some flowers (or a simple care package with hand lotion, a box of cookies, a fancy soap bar) to a nursing home and ask that they or it be given to the loneliest of residents (sign your sister's and mother's name).
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Art friend, don't give up on finding a therapist......I go to a local counseling center that is a nonprofit clinic and my doctor has really done a great job w me but it took 8 months of medication trials....but I have stopped drinking....knock on wood,
I went to see him today he took me off of 2 of 4 meds.....and I finally requested a therapist....so I'm starting individual therapy next month. I don't know how you should commemorate.......maybe go to your favorite place
I went to see him today he took me off of 2 of 4 meds.....and I finally requested a therapist....so I'm starting individual therapy next month. I don't know how you should commemorate.......maybe go to your favorite place
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