Sobriety and dating
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
I think you underestimate the way girls appreciate the little things. She might act as though she is fine with having a glass by herself---and she might be easy going-- but that doesn't mean internally she isn't curious or upset why she brought a whole bottle to your place and you tell her after the fact that your not drinking. I understand you know her and we don't, but I think when the majority of guys think "oh she's cool or she's chill" etc.... they are just misinterpreting lack of expression or communication for no feelings.
I can totally imagine a situation in which you have her bring the bottle of wine... don't drink... and then weeks/months from now... it's over between you guys. And she won't ever reveal that the wine had anything to do with it---rather she will focus on something else to focus a breakup around...or an excuse to not continue dating.... this is the way many women work. And you will never know how much of an impact it has on them (or their friends--because you know the first thing that her friends are going to hear after the date...is going to be "It was fun... but he wouldn't drink the wine I brought"
Anyway, I'm glad to see your committed to not drinking. Why not phone her up now and tell her not to bring it so she has time to go and get something else to bring? It's best not to have her surprised at the last minute... Because that becomes an instant conversation starter.... "So why didn't you want me to bring the wine are you an alcoholic or something?"
-Now you either 1. Lie 2. Tell the truth... in both cases-- the date becomes about you and not we.... (this is probably why people don't suggest dating in the beginning...)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 148
If she makes a big issue out of a bottle of wine like you mention, and get her friends involved then I would gladly not date her. Serper, this is just a date where I wanna relax and eat a good dinner and enjoy some company, this kind of thinking you mention I leave for work on monday when i have to decipher the engineering plans (that are always wrong for some reason )
And i can't tell her because its 12 am - woo hoo day 11
And i can't tell her because its 12 am - woo hoo day 11
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
If she makes a big issue out of a bottle of wine like you mention, and get her friends involved then I would gladly not date her. Serper, this is just a date where I wanna relax and eat a good dinner and enjoy some company, this kind of thinking you mention I leave for work on monday when i have to decipher the engineering plans (that are always wrong for some reason )
And i can't tell her because its 12 am - woo hoo day 11
And i can't tell her because its 12 am - woo hoo day 11
No, that's my point---most women wont make a big issue to your face about little things like the wine. And most of the time you will not hear discussions between her and her friends--but they will happen. But these things are extremely important--and they matter! To say that you just wouldn't date this person (or a person where this stuff matters), is a bit of a cop out---and again, selfish. When it comes to dating-- one should really be thinking about the other person---regardless of one's profession.
But yeah-- no need to worry now that the wine is out of the equation. I'm sure you'll have an awesome time on your sober date.
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