InTheEnd

Day 9, hmmmm.....Some thoughts. I have to say wine has been on my mind today. No reason except for boredom. I'm off this week and thought I'd put myself in this self imposed exile from the world to heal, contemplate, and look deep within. Well, its not going so well. This is what I did while drinking so all its making me do is think of drinking! Well, it's officially over and I'm gonna put on my big girl pants and get the hell outta the house tomorrow! I've decided to volunteer at an animal shelter with all this free time, which I know I will absolutely love. Did it years ago, but my drinking life got a little busy over the years. Who knew there was this much time in the day when you don't start drinking at 4pm?

I've had a few weird moments of thinking I was drinking. Last night, I stumbled over a carpet and my first thought was "Whoa, I've had too much wine again". It took about 15 seconds for me to realize I hadn't had any alcohol. That 15 seconds was awful. Emotions came flying in, thinking I failed again at my attempt. The guilt and shame of my imaginary relapse crushed me in that 15 seconds.

I so much want a sober life. Just in 9 days, I've seen little differences for the better. I have a bit more patience and everyday life isn't such a chore. I will fight tooth and nail for my life back.

I just felt I had to connect and I'm glad SR is here. I've been reading all day on and off. So thankful....

Anna

9 days is fantastic! Good for you, and good for knowing that it's time to get out of the house and do something. Taking action is such an important part of recovery.

InTheEnd

Thanks Anna. I'm definitely seeing that over the last few days. My self reflection has made me realize I'm not as deep as I thought! I'm just a girl, who knows I deserve more than to be in this "alcohol prison" I've sentenced myself to over the years. We all do.

Moving on and looking forward.

Dee74

Keep doing what you're doing intheend

D

skipper123

congratulations on day 9. working at the animal shelter is a great idea I use to do the same and it made me feel really good about myself!!

InTheEnd

Thanks! It really does and I can't wait!

BeanSkillet

Great work. Keep it up!

D122y

Hang in there. It has gotten a little better each day. Do not fight the alcoholism.... Surrender to the sobriety.

NestWasEmpty

Nice work InTheEnd Congrats on 9 days !! That sounds like a wonderful thing to do . Love animals or any kind of volunteer work . Keeps the mind busy & gives a Happy feeling inside

least

Volunteering at the shelter will be good for you as well as for the animals. Congrats on nine days!

VDGS

Woohoo! Nine days! I'm right there with you. A bottle of beer caught my eye for a fraction of a second today and I had a small pang of longing. And then I thought about how much better I have felt in the past nine days. I'm sleeping well. I'm eating well. And I feel more energetic than normal. The longing went away. And we have day ten to look forward to tomorrow. Double digits seem like a milestone

Adam

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 9 ITE

doggonecarl

Congratulations on nine days!

Wonderful idea. I do canine rescue and there is nothing like the joy that comes from the simple act of helping an animal or assisting the shelter they are being housed in.

sobriiestote

Yes double digits is something to be proud of indeed, volunteering sounds like a great idea, I do lots of it and it's really enhanced my (sober) life. Your carpet story made me chuckle but I get that it really spooked you out. I guess we're going to be so fragile in the early days that it feels like anything could tip us over.