myjourney111713

So, there are those of us who have been doing the regular drinking thing for a good while, but perhaps not as heavily as others. While I do consider my drinking over the past 6 years to be excessive (only about 35 days sober total in 6 years...and not all consecutive), sometimes, we tell ourselves we aren't ready because all of the bad things haven't happened to us. In other words, we can explain it away and continue.

For example:

- I haven't lost my family from alcohol....YET
- I haven't lost my friends from alcohol....YET
- I haven't gotten a DUI from alcohol....YET
- I haven't lost my job from alcohol....YET

Well, I came close today. Was pulled into a meeting where I received an agreement to continue employment. Turns out, at a recent customer function, I drank too much. And it was noticed. And there was an incident about 6 months prior to that; same thing. It was noticed. And then last year at a team outing...It was noticed.

So, the good news is my employer is willing to stand behind me and give me another chance with an assessment for substance abuse, and FMLA in the event that they determine I do need counseling. I feel extraordinarly blessed, yet embarrassed beyond belief because I have such a great working relationship with these people. Remember - alcohol doesn't care what kind of job or career you have. No one is totally immune.

It was a big wake-up call. I'm on Day 8 today, and thankful that I went down the path to getting sober before this happened. It could've been much worse; particularly as the sole provider for my family.

If you're a newbie or even not...and you still say some of the statements I've made above for not quitting...remember the key word in those four statements. The key word is YET.

I never want to drink again. And I hope you don't, too.

Anna

Absolutely 'yet' is the word to look at because things always get worse.

I'm glad you are able to keep your job and congratulations on Day 8.

Jillian2563

Wow. That's scary but I'm glad they are willing to work with you in this and keep your job.

I remember a couple years ago going to a holiday party. We were told by the managers there would be no alcohol. So what did I do? I drank a couple beers on the way and brought some shooters for soda. Funny thing though, when we got there, there WAS alcohol. A few more beers before dinner, wine (I think I drank the whole bottle?) with dinner, then they (employer) stopped alcohol because it was game time (and people had to drive home). During game time, I continued to get wasted with the shooters. Then an argument with my husband at the table with other employees. It was horrible. All weekend I was worried about what they'd say on Monday. They didn't say anything. And I continued to drink for 8years (22days ago).

What I guess I'm trying to say is, maybe it's a blessing that they came to you with this. I know it's probably embarrassing but they obviously care about you for giving you another chance. And anyway, it can't beat the embarrassment of whatever was done at the social events.

Good luck and congrats on 8 days!

myjourney111713

Thanks, Anna & Jillian. I think you're right that it's a blessing. They said they're worried about me and just want me to get help if I need it. And they said the three most important words at that moment that I could think of "You're not fired."

I managed to hold it together in the office, but I sobbed the whole way home (my boss told me it's ok to take the afternoon off). After feeling sorry for myself and my reckless behavior for the past 6 years, I decided to use this as the growth opportunity that it is.

Jillian - I can't imagine the company event thing. I could see how embarrassing that would be. If they would've said something to you, do you think that would've helped to quit drinking sooner?

I'm happy that tomorrow is Day 9. :-)

SereneEdition

Sounds like you're fortunate to have the support of your employer. Congrats on Day 8.

Lots to look forward to with sobriety!

Jillian2563

Honestly, probably not. I might've cut back as I wasn't a "full blown alcoholic" at that time but I'm pretty sure I still would've ended up here.

FreeOwl

wow... that IS a blessing...

based on what you described, I'd strongly consider taking the FMLA and getting yourself some intensive treatment, if I were you.

What's there to lose? It's obvious people at work are already well aware of your issues - so why not go full-on with it and show what a remarkable comeback story you can be?

Hevyn

Thanks for a helpful post, myjourney. Most of the time my drinking habits weren't noticed - so I kept going - with disastrous results. I'm so glad you're aware of what needs to happen.

ItWillBeWorthIt

I would say, it was a blessing... and happy to hear you are taking a positive step to address the situation.

Congratulations on 8 days!

A sober life is a great life. Wishing you the very best.

thomas11

That would scare the crap out of me. I'm glad to hear you are still employed and good job on your 8 days.

Fly N Buy

You have been given a reprieve, a gift. That is indeed fortunate, many do not. Good for you on the recognition we don't have to keep digging........

The program I follow has a section in our book entitled "They Stopped in Time." These are stories from those who also saw the yet = you're (us) eligible too!!

Glad you're here, congrats on 8 days!!!
Any thoughts of outside support??

myjourney111713

Thanks Jeff. It did scare the crap out of me. I managed to hold it together through the meeting and going back to my office, but I lost it when I got to my car. Cried the whole way home...of fear, embarrassment, and I guess you could say I was also grieving for the reputation that was previously unvarnished prior to the alcohol.

I'm very thankful that it turned out this way...

myjourney111713

Thanks for the warm welcome, Fly N Buy. Which program do you follow? Regarding outside support, I'm going for an addiction counselor and outpatient rehab. I'm in it to win it!

BlackSabbath

Wow! Blessing in disguise. You've got this! Don't let the beast win.

Best wishes to you

Delfin

I'm here because I could see that I was about to lose those "yets" and I didn't want to get to that point.

Congrats on 8 days, mj! I'm really glad that your workplace is supporting you.

Delfin

notgonnastoptry

Good job. In IOP, we learned about the yet stuff. I hadn't gotten a DUI or anything, but I did end up hospitalized. Sometimes, when I think about it, I remember all of the time I spent hoping I didn't hit rock bottom and end up in the hospital. I fixated on it so much, that I sometimes think, "oh, yeah, that was before when I used to hope I'd never be hospitalized. I WAS HOSPITALIZED". in all caps to emphasize that all that worrying is still part of my thought process and I forget for a moment that I did actually do exactly what hadn't happened "yet". Going to the hospital was my biggest fear and sure enough, it happened.

Good luck and I'm glad you kept the job.

Soberwolf

Excellent thread

ulfr

you got this ...keep going

MythOfSisyphus

Let YET become NEVER! Now is the best time to quit. It's always now.

Fly N Buy

I am a member of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Sounds like you're moving forward with professionals in OP rehab and addiction counselling is very positive!!! Good for you!

All who choose sobriety today are Winners!!

Keep posting