thomas11

I'm one to always want to find things out for myself, but after having been here long enough, the chances are pretty slim for alcoholics to moderate. Also, as I mentioned yesterday, if everyone around a particular a person thinks something is a bad idea, and person is still convinced its a "good" idea, well, logic would dictate that its probably a bad idea.

1dayaddatime

Go back and read ALL of the previous posts rush

Aarryckha

Trying to moderate as an alcoholic is a horrible idea. If you could do it, you would have done it by now.

Alcoholics don't want to have the one or two social drinks. They don't get us drunk. It's not enough for us to reach the end goal. So, why bother in the first place?

That one or two is enough to put a break in the dam. Enough to open the floodgates. Who wants to go back to that place? Why would you bother tempting it?

Folks here are long past the moderation point.

Lola23

I for one am really glad this thread was started and thanks for everyone who responded. I needed to 'hear' this today. Moderation does not work for me. If it did, I most certainly would not be on this site.

On The Road

Moderation? How does that work for a drunk like me?!

breath

Stick a fork in it, it's done....

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result....

Nothing new to see here, move along please....

notgonnastoptry

I'll just chime in with the others. I tried to moderate. It doesn't work for us. We are obsessed with it. I had a bad day and I thought about picking up, but I realized it would get me nowhere except I'd turn into the proverbial cat who chases his/her tail without catching it. Keeping and maintaining the buzz or at the end, drinking to function, was a horrible game in and of itself that I never want to play again.

wehav2day

Moderation is the fluffy unicorn, the happy leprechaun, the Sasquatch of the alcoholic. Talked about, sought after, sightings claimed, never truly found

Out of curiosity, I just read a bit on moderation management's website. I think that's a decent forum for people wishing to moderate. This forum is for people who want to stop. Something for everyone, don't have to have both here.

I do find it interesting that the moderation management site spends a great deal of space devoted to legitimizing itself and promoting itself in the news. If it's so great, why do you have to justify it so? Juuust sayin'

littlefish

The labels on the booze bottles warn that alcohol can be addicting. I look at the label and think to myself: there is more to it than that.

“Alcohol is addicting to the addictive personality” would be a more helpful warning, in my way of thinking. I believe that the addicting substance and/or mechanism is inside me, not the bottle.

Something, maybe a congenital defect, an inherited gene, something different in my brain or liver chemistry, an abnormality not yet discovered by science, makes it impossible for me to assimilate and process alcohol without becoming addicted. Period. And if the addiction mechanism is inside me, and not inside the bottle, moderation becomes a torturous waste of time.

There is not yet any conclusive scientific explanation for why I am an alcoholic. Is that frustrating? Yeah sure! But, I am not going to wait for the breakthrough article in the Lancet to stop drinking. I want to live sober, now. I know I have it, this disorder, allergy, defect or disease, if you may. Whatever it is. I know I can’t drink.

blueberry2015

Alcoholics cant moderate the story is the same for all of us, we tried and we failed. Abstinance is the only solution. I agree if anyone needs support or advice to moderate their drinking chances are they have a problem, thats the only advice I can give to anyone who is looking for support to moderate their drinking.

Denial is all part of Alcoholism, I denied that I was an Alcoholic for years, knew I had a problem... tried to cut back, tried to quit, had 3 alcohol free days a week, tried lower strength alcohol it all amounted to the same thing I ended up back to square one... a drunk. I told myself I wasn't an alcoholic, in truth I was an alkie for years just I denied it.

Nonsensical

We can apply logic to the situation. A cost-benefit analysis. Look at the risk-reward ratio.

RISK: My past drinking was extremely dangerous to myself and others. I would frequently get behind the wheel drunk. My wife also put me on notice to fix the issue or move on. My children have also looked at me with contempt and disgust when they've seen me drunk. So, the RISK of attempting moderate drinking is very high. If it fails I could lose everything I hold dear.

REWARD: I can get a buzz now and again.

The two are ridiculously out of proportion. Exceptionally high risk, pitifully small reward. Yet, I still consider it. There is something in me that makes that pitifully small reward seem worth taking that exceptionally high risk.

That something in me is called alcoholism. It is a liar and a thief, trying to talk me into taking a drink by any means at its disposal. It will kill me if I let it. Make no mistake, this affliction kills. Don't screw around with it.

tomsteve

Ive been on this site for a little while now. Have read hundreds and hundreds of threads/ posts.

I think i need assistance to find these "most of us" you refer to as i dont recall reading anyone say that. I think the replies here somewhat show that the statement of most of us wanting to be able to cut back to healthy moderation is delusional thinking and another way to justify/ rationalize drinking.

I personally dont want to moderate. I dont want to drink. I dont have a problem with alcohol any more. Buti am still an alcohic.i dont have the ability to moderate. 23 years of drinking show me that.

I have had the greatest ten years of my life since i stopped drinking,soi will kindly keep myself excluded from the "most of us."

littlefish

Thanks for making that point tomsteve! I didn't drink the way normal people drink. I drank because at a very early point in my drinking career, I turned alcohol into my medicine. There was never that beautiful sunset moment on the beach relaxing with a harmless cocktail in hand: I'd already been sneaking vodka from a sippy cup all day.

Meraviglioso

I don't think it is an AA thing, I think that a lot of alcoholics have come to accept that we can not safely drink any quantity at all. Peanut allergies are one of the most severe and deadly allergies out there, so it is a comparison that we make given that alcohol abuse is severe and can be deadly.
If you have not already I would suggest checking out the book "Under the Influence" it gives a scientific perspective on why alcoholics cannot drink. There is scientific evidence that our bodies- specifically our brains and our livers process alcohol differently from other people who do not have the alcoholic gene. Therefore the comparison to another medical condition or allergy is very appropriate. In a very real sense we are allergic to alcohol. It affects us differently than people who do not have the "allergy"
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Meraviglioso

Here is one particular passage which may be of interest to you:

"Furthermore, this evidence has profound implications for treatment. While it may be possible to teach the problem drinker how to drink in a more responsible way, the alcoholic's drinking is controlled by physiological factors which cannot be altered through psychological methods such as counseling, threats, punishment, or reward.

In other words, the alcoholic is powerless to control his reaction to alcohol."

RushTogether

Oh I have.
I still believe that you're looking for us to give you the go ahead to drink.

If any of us could moderate, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be trying to get SOBER. We wouldn't be on SOBERrecovery.com.

My moderation when I was drinking was 18 beers instead of 36, or being able to wait until after noon to start drinking.

I get it, this is all new to you. You're looking for that reason to not lose that part of your old life. Weather it's your friends, the bars, the socializing, I don't know what it is. I believe you're looking for that "sure, go ahead and just have that one drink a day, you'll be fine"

Maybe you will be fine, or maybe this story plays out like it has for so many of us before you.

"One is one too many, and one more is never enough"

Gjess

For me personally moderation never worked . To compare I would say imagine you spend couple of days in a hottest desert without water and you keep searching for water to drink , you are so thirsty that you would do anything for that glass of water. Here comes someone and offers you a glass of water but you can't reach it and you became so desperate , imagining how this water would feel in your mouth , the urge you have at that moment to kill your thirst . So the same for me was with moderation drinking , if I have a glass there is no stopping because this urge becomes uncontrollable and I would just have to drink more and more

Upwardspiral

I agree with others here that I do not
"wish I could moderate" There's no going back to an innocent relationship with alcohol for me and thinking of it longingly just impedes getting on with my life. Yes, I still have to grieve sometimes but it's a huge release to have accepted that I cannot tolerate alcohol and to live my best life I must avoid it. I find it helpful to accept it like a diagnosis of a disease. It's not my fault and there's no bargaining my way out of it. Either I take care of myself or I die.

Soberwolf

Day you got to drop this now at 2 weeks in moderation is at the focus of your mind

Day without sounding harsh this is a dead subject here if you must go check out a moderation website your not the first your not the last

Why are you focusing on this so hard and you are if you haven't noticed I just saw your post saying finally someone who gets what I'm saying the thing is Day again without sounding harsh you completely missed the irony of the post as so many alcoholics before they admitted they were wanted to talk moderation its a seriously common theme

For the record I experimented to the brink I didn't want to be alcoholic I was dexter in the lab trying to find a way

Another note if you Google moderation sober recovery you might find some threads but they all end the same

Day pls don't continue this listen to every alcoholic who has been exactly where you are now

Moderation is not sobriety

dwtbd

I think the OP (day) is asking why moderation isn't a 'thing' on SR, hopefully he/she sees why now.
Not being familiar with other recent posts of the OP , this one particular doesn't sound like moderation is a personal avenue for the OP. If it is , don't, bad plan .
"for those who understand , no explanation is necessary, for those who don't none is possible" Sometimes advice from 'experts' is enough to come to understanding, but if experience is your only guide be careful, better yet why bother? If alot is real bad, a little is just the start of alot.