Is moderation a "thing" here ?
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
Ive been thinkin lately there should be huge stickie with links to threads on the subject and also linksto threads from people that tried to moderate.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: bradford, england
Posts: 110
i got quite a bit of negativity when i proposed i moderate on here (yes, i understand why). those threads/stickies sound really helpful to be honest.
on a side note, i managed to moderate for my set 3 months. admittedly, i was then meant to give it up completely and that hasnt worked out but i am still moderating nicely. and much happier for it (although im sure sobriety would be better).
on a side note, i managed to moderate for my set 3 months. admittedly, i was then meant to give it up completely and that hasnt worked out but i am still moderating nicely. and much happier for it (although im sure sobriety would be better).
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
I definitely have to weigh in on the side that moderation will not work in the long run for an alcoholic / addict.
I've had to learn through many times trying to moderate. Each time, I was just setting myself up for failure. Each day that passed, I would convince myself that it was ok to drink more than the day before.
Ultimately I ended up convincing myself that there was nothing wrong with drinking at 9 am, before church functions, before school functions with my kids, before anything and everything. I know I'm not alone in this wisdom of an alcoholic.
I can only speak for myself, but I truly hope other's listen to those of us that have tried and failed... time and time and time again.
I can tell myself that I can moderate today, but I know down deep that I will drink more tomorrow, then the next, then the next... Who knows when you will run out of tomorrow's.
I know this, when I was drinking, odds are I run out of tomorrows a hell of a lot sooner than when I'm sober. And I'm much happier being sober too.
I've had to learn through many times trying to moderate. Each time, I was just setting myself up for failure. Each day that passed, I would convince myself that it was ok to drink more than the day before.
Ultimately I ended up convincing myself that there was nothing wrong with drinking at 9 am, before church functions, before school functions with my kids, before anything and everything. I know I'm not alone in this wisdom of an alcoholic.
I can only speak for myself, but I truly hope other's listen to those of us that have tried and failed... time and time and time again.
I can tell myself that I can moderate today, but I know down deep that I will drink more tomorrow, then the next, then the next... Who knows when you will run out of tomorrow's.
I know this, when I was drinking, odds are I run out of tomorrows a hell of a lot sooner than when I'm sober. And I'm much happier being sober too.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
That may require an entirely different website because of the volume of epic fails. I know I'm good for 2 to 3 pages just by myself
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ireland
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by Nowsthetime
Moderation is exhausting!!!
I have better things to do than obsess over l when, how much, how long, etc.
I have better things to do than obsess over l when, how much, how long, etc.
I can try but to be honest I am not relishing the prospect of having a drink - I am tired just at the very thought of having one, two or even three drinks then having to "white knuckle" it through the rest of the night. Having none just seems simpler.
Yuck. Hopefully I can just eat all round me.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by smadams11
i got quite a bit of negativity when i proposed i moderate on here (yes, i understand why). those threads/stickies sound really helpful to be honest.
on a side note, i managed to moderate for my set 3 months. admittedly, i was then meant to give it up completely and that hasnt worked out but i am still moderating nicely. and much happier for it (although im sure sobriety would be better).
on a side note, i managed to moderate for my set 3 months. admittedly, i was then meant to give it up completely and that hasnt worked out but i am still moderating nicely. and much happier for it (although im sure sobriety would be better).
Our illness is progressive in nature..........it never subsides or goes away, though many have tried = me too. A heavy drinker may indeed find a way out. But not a true alcoholic.......
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Crysalis
Does the bridesmaid know you have stopped drinking? If not, you could consider telling her, privately of course. Ginger ale and sparkling cider both 'fizz'. If she knows and still insists, well that would be monstrous, I can't believe that is the case.
Does the bridesmaid know you have stopped drinking? If not, you could consider telling her, privately of course. Ginger ale and sparkling cider both 'fizz'. If she knows and still insists, well that would be monstrous, I can't believe that is the case.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ireland
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by dwtbd
Crysalis
Does the bridesmaid know you have stopped drinking? If not, you could consider telling her, privately of course. Ginger ale and sparkling cider both 'fizz'. If she knows and still insists, well that would be monstrous, I can't believe that is the case.
Does the bridesmaid know you have stopped drinking? If not, you could consider telling her, privately of course. Ginger ale and sparkling cider both 'fizz'. If she knows and still insists, well that would be monstrous, I can't believe that is the case.
She doesn't mean it in a bad way though - idk what I'll do - will be back on SR after the "holiday" though - so fingers crossed all goes well.
I guess im only looking to moderate for one day - not looking forward to it tho. Wait and see I guess.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ireland
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by myjourney111713
Crysalis - I agree...none is simpler! You can always pre-arrange a white sparkling grape juice in the same glass and I bet no one would even notice. ;-)
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southeast U.S.
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by Crysalis
It's in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere in gallicia - so I doubt they even have grape juice! - At least not the non alcoholic kind - but shall def at least ask! - give myself the chance of an out Thanks
Thanksquat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
crysalis
good luck with your holiday and be well, but wanting it and drinking it are two different things one is a thought that need not be acted on and the other an action, that need not be taken
good luck with your holiday and be well, but wanting it and drinking it are two different things one is a thought that need not be acted on and the other an action, that need not be taken
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Well maybe I am right, it is the bridesmaid and the monster part is the beast, trying to talk you into just one more time. This is already more than just one toast, from my perspective, hope I'm wrong, sincerely, wish you well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 161
Originally Posted by FlyerFan
If i were allergic to peanuts I wouldn't just try one out once in a while, it just might kill me! 
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Originally Posted by tomsteve
Ive been thinkin lately there should be huge stickie with links to threads on the subject and also linksto threads from people that tried to moderate.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 161
Originally Posted by tomsteve
Ive been thinkin lately there should be huge stickie with links to threads on the subject and also linksto threads from people that tried to moderate.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by Dee74
I had to sit a spell in order to respond appropriately as a member of staff.
I know you're new but I think you'd be surprised at how few people (out of literally tens if not hundreds of 1000s) I've seen here who claim lasting success with moderation.
If we started a moderation forum here, I would have to stand down as mod, because I don't believe that drinkers like me can successfully moderate.
I'd go farther and say that promoting moderation here would be like enabling people to die the long slow painful and lonely death of addiction.
We're a recovery board here.
Drinking more alcohol is not a solution and its not recovery - it's part of addiction.
If that sounds close minded or discriminatory to you then so be it - I dunno what else to tell you, 1day.
There are moderation sites and forums out there, if that's what anyone is looking for.
Moderation is big business cause it speaks to the great wish of the addicted to find a way to drink (or use) without any negative consequences.
I think it's snake oil.
Dee
Moderator
SR
I know you're new but I think you'd be surprised at how few people (out of literally tens if not hundreds of 1000s) I've seen here who claim lasting success with moderation.
If we started a moderation forum here, I would have to stand down as mod, because I don't believe that drinkers like me can successfully moderate.
I'd go farther and say that promoting moderation here would be like enabling people to die the long slow painful and lonely death of addiction.
We're a recovery board here.
Drinking more alcohol is not a solution and its not recovery - it's part of addiction.
If that sounds close minded or discriminatory to you then so be it - I dunno what else to tell you, 1day.
There are moderation sites and forums out there, if that's what anyone is looking for.
Moderation is big business cause it speaks to the great wish of the addicted to find a way to drink (or use) without any negative consequences.
I think it's snake oil.
Dee
Moderator
SR
I wish I could give this 100 thanks!
Delfin
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by 1dayaddatime
Here I go again with a controversial thread......... So I'm wrapping up my 14th day of being sober and I feel great now that the withdrawals are all but gone. And what I mean by that is the cravings still come and go. I've learned that if you dwell on the cravings, the shakes and s**t will come back, so don't dwell...... Anyway, of the 14 days I've been here and stayed sober I've noticed quite a few have joined seeking support for "cutting back" to moderation with little to no support at all. So my question is, is there a forum for those looking for support in moderation, or is SR just for complete sobriety/alcohol free? And if not, why? This question is for staff as well. I can see how if someone is strong enough to cut back drinking to healthy moderation, and keep it there, they're just as strong as the ones that quit drinking altogether. I mean, most of us would love to be able to cut to healthy moderation, but we are physically, and mentally unable but what about those that can, and still seek our support. Just a thought, and if there is a forum for moderation, accept my apology, and I stand corrected.
"1dayaddatime"
"1dayaddatime"
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