Sasha4

My time in me and my ex's house is coming to and end.
I have sold it and bought somewhere for me and my daughter to live.

I just feel quite emotional about it at times.
Its the only house my 5 year old has known.
I'm moving away from the area.
She will have to change schools.

The moving process so far has not been good.
We may have to move quicker than I thought and not straight into the new place either, but an in-between place until our new home is ready.

Sometimes I almost feel paralysed with fear - just the enormity of what I have taken on.
I can't imagine our last night here.
Me locking the doors and knowing we will be handing the key's to someone else.
I can't envisage us in the new place yet at all - as in what it will be like.

I've been treading water here in this house for a long time since my ex left - 2 years nearly.

Can anyone relate or understand my nerves?

Saskia

Sounds like a big change and those are never easy even when happy. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you can do this and will be ok! If you need help, get what you need to make this a good transition. Good luck!

Verte

Hi Sasha,

This emotionality you are experiencing is something I can relate to. My girls are around your daughter's age and we just had our 2nd big move in the last 3 years, most recently this past spring. The shadows of my former abodes slowly disappeared, turned into moments of recollection and it really has been invigorating. Especially since I left the physical place of my drinking past. That works for me.

You are very brave and will do well. My girls have reminded me a lot about resiliency of spirit as after the move they whined for a few weeks and then returned to being in the moment. They have little cares these days except visiting as many parks and pools as possible. As long as I feed them, take them to the library, pool and park, listen repeatedly to the same awful knock-knock joke, singular, (care to laugh? I will tell you a knock-knock joke), listen to the periodic 'yarn', walk outside, give them a warm bath and read stories at night...they are good and I am mother of the year. For the time being.

I myself made a transatlantic move when I was 5 and know that the things I cared about then are definitely not the same as today. Friends and being outside ruled the day.

It took me forever to warm up to this new place. They were ready to pitch a tent in the yard so they could listen to the crickets. That is where they wished to 'live'.

Keep us updated as you go through the process. We are all here to support. You really are going to do great. No one likes moving. Ew.

Let me tell you a knock-knock joke...

soberclover

I so understand how you are feeling. I went through the same thing many moons ago. Try to think of it as new beginnings rather than endings. It will be a change for sure, but I discovered that my son was not as heartbroken as I was. He just wanted to be with me and to see his Dad. It will be nice not having to tread water any more.....that can get very tiring doesn't it

Dee74

I can certainly understand it Sasha

Change can be good tho - I've very glad I moved to where I am now - it's a big improvement in just about every conceivable way.

I hope you and your daughter will find the same

D

Hevyn

I'm glad you wanted to talk about it here, Sasha. I've been through it too. I don't think we'd be normal if we just coldly moved on & never reflected on our past & what we've been through. I know in time you'll be focusing on your new life and all the good things that still lie ahead.

bigsombrero

Too true. Moving is one of the most stressful activities in life - it's completely normal to feel nervous, anxious, depressed. Don't worry, hang in there. You are making the right decision and things will be okay. I can't remember the last time someone said "boy, that move was fun!" - most of us are a bundle of nerves even when we are moving to a better place. Over a year ago I relocated to a new country the whole experience made me wrought with angst. Leaving my old haunt where so many good things had both started and come to an end left me very emotional. You will get through this, and your daughter and you will both be happy to get a fresh start! It might be just what you need. Until then, hang in there.

Anna

Oh Sasha, I have a feeling that you will feel so much better once you get established in your new place. As you said, you've been 'waiting' for two years and now you're making the move. And, I had to move my children multiple times (was a military wife) and I always felt so guilty about doing that. The advice I got was to stick to a routine. Get your daughter's new room set up as quickly as possible and try to be sure she's happy with it. Try to maintain your daily routine as much as you can so that she feels safe. Hugs!

SereneEdition

Transition times feel uncomfortable , and moving is a big transition. But you do have to close some doors to make the space for new opportunities to grow.

You won't get to know what is behind that door of opportunities till you get there, which makes it particularly hard to see that they are there until you arrive. I hope the best for you.

Spacegoat

I gotta laugh any time that I hear the one but yeah it's stressful. Sasha, I can relate.

We were just in an estate the other day where we lived when my kid was younger.

Kicking a ball about, as we were then. Some rare good memories were had there.

Foolsgold186

Sasha, sorry for your feelings with this. I can understand the fear this must bring to you. Change is difficult but think of the lovely fresh start you're giving you and your daughter. Making new memories somewhere is lovely to build on and what an adventure this will feel like for your her.

I wish you such happiness and hope the move goes well. Keep us updated!

L x

MythOfSisyphus

I understand how you feel, Sasha! I'm kind of a big softie deep down and I have a broad sentimental streak. Change always triggers powerful emotional yearning in me. For example, I finished my last class towards my Bachelor's Degree a couple weeks ago and I wasn't prepared for the tidal wave of emotions that crashed over me.

Life is change, Sasha. Some changes are good, some bad, but you can't live without change. Fear is the other side of change. Fear can keep us in bad situations because we sometimes are more afraid of the unknown than the bad familiar.

Enjoy the last days in your current home! Maybe take a few pictures of you and your daughter! But think of all the great memories and experiences in store for you on the road ahead! Your little girl will have a new home, make new friends and together you'll walk new roads.

You will be okay, Sasha. Just wait and see!

Soberwolf

Sasha4

Thank you all.

I feel better for posting and reading all your responses.

I did err on posting here about this as it's not drink related as such but now I am glad I did.

However, it maybe is more drinking related than I thought as pointed out by you Verte. It is a place of my drinking past.

Maybe thats some of the sadness that I am closing the door on a home that didn't always have such happy memories.
It does still make me sad that I didn't build a truly happy home here. Almost like I would shut the door and say good bye house, I'm sorry I failed to make this a happy house. A home that I could look back on and remember very fondly. I know it was not all my fault, but I have to take some responsibility too.

I think handling redundancy, trying to find a job, and moving house has probably been too much for me to take on at the same time. But life never deals cards in the order we want I guess.

Thank you for taking time to make me feel better with all the kind words and reflections and thoughts.

Its probably significant that I posted here as I do feel that this is a 'home' for me. I feel like I have a family here. For that I am truly thankful.

There's no place like home! xx