Bainzy22

Hi everyone, new to this but happy to be taking this step!

I feel like I should just start with my story of why I joined. My relationship with alcohol has never been positive, I have been binge drinking heavily on most weekends since 15 (22years old now). My dad who I no longer have contact with was/ is (don't know if he managed to stay sober) a violent alcoholic. His two brothers are alcoholics or abuse alcohol. My mums side I have lost an uncle through alcoholism too and I don't know if there is a genetic link but I see my self with the same traits too addiction.

I managed to quit drinking for 2 months but noticed I started smoking cannabis a lot more. At which point I quit cannabis and started to try and control my drinking which I know is quite basically impossible for anyone with a propensity towards addiction. It's like I needed some sort of escape on the weekend no matter what. When I quit cannabis id started using cocaine on weekends and drinking a lot. I said id only do cocaine once a month or to celebrate a birthday etc but its been 9 weekends in a row I have used cocaine and drank.

I've just come to realise that there is no way I can control or limit my use of drugs/ alcohol so have to stop them all together.

A big reason I've never seen it as a massive issue is because it's just on weekends mainly, but it's still affected me a lot especially smoking a lot of cannabis for 6 years that I can get bad anxiety and depression after heavy use of any drugs/ alcohol so it's just not feeling worth it. Am I right that this is abusive patterns and id be better off to quit? Its a scary thought as every friend I have uses drugs and alcohol regularly but it just isnt right for me anymore I believe.

Thanks for anyone taking the time to read this. Just needed to let it all out.

emme99

Welcome Bainzy22, I am glad you are here

I think you would be better off to quit, especially since it causes you anxiety & depression. Good luck on your journey. You will find lots of support here

Anna

If alcohol and/or drugs are causing problems in your life, then stopping is the way to go. Whether it's abuse or addiction is really just a term. The more important thing is how you feel and what happens when you drink. For me. I began to hate the person I had become.

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR

Bainzy22

Thanks for the replies.

I think the fact I've not been able to stay sober off anything for a long amount of time shows a problem I have.

Going to just set a target for myself to do 1 month sober from tomorrow to see how I feel then hopefully carry on from there.

Hope2014

Welcome and great job on realizing it's time to quit. Do you have a doctor you can talk to about detoxing? It can be dangerous doing it on your own. I'm glad you posted and hope you stick around!

SereneEdition

Hi Bainzy22 -

Deep down I 'knew' I was an addict for years, but it took me a long time to admit it to myself. I think I was afraid of giving it up...

If you decide to wait to deal with it, it will only get worse.

And yes, when I would quit one substance, I would substitute another.

Bainzy22

I fully agree with that knowing I was an addict deep down, it is scary giving up. When you've been using whatever drug/ alcohol for years it becomes a massive part of your life/ social life and everything you know.

Sort of feels like starting a fresh giving up and learning to live without it again

Dee74

I was a weekend warrior for many many years so I definitely relate Bainzy.
I didn't quit and ended up an all day drinker and daily weed smoker.

It's a good call to think about quitting now

welcome aboard

D