Icewater15

Hi,

I have failed to moderate my drinking for about 5 years now. I am 30 years old and I drink a few times a month and whenever I drink, I blackout. I just can't help myself. Is anyone else like this?

I want to quit and my last binge was on Thursday night. I wake up Friday morning and do not remember leaving a bar and walking home. My plan is to become a part of this community and to start taking care of my body. I notice that moderating has been impossible with other drugs too. I've been able to quit tobacco and marijuana.

I am able to go through the week and weekends without drinking but there are times when I am invited out for drinks that I just give in and drink. Is it going to take a daily commitment for the rest of my life to overcome alcoholism? I want to talk to take it one day at a time but I'm afraid.

vanaprastha

Welcome Icewater. In my opinion, yes, it will take a daily commitment for the rest of your life, but you can do it if you want it badly enough. That's my plan anyway.

You will find lots of support here.

least

Welcome to the family. When I got sober it was for good. And I like my sober life so much I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you have a good attitude and you know that the best way to deal with your situation is to stop drinking. I, too, could never moderate my drinking, no matter how many times or how hard I tried. It was actually a relief to stop drinking for good and to stop worrying about it.

I'm glad you found us and posted.

Coldfusion

Just spend your drinking time here instead. Read around and post often! And if ever you need any help quitting, just know that there is probably an AA meeting nearby.

RDBplus3

Ice, I am sure you know the old saying ... someone that does NOT have an addiction to Pea Soup does NOT have to try to Moderate their consumption of Pea Soup ... just sayin ...

I drank for 40 years, then I STRUGGLED for a long time 'trying to moderate'. That period of trying to control my drinking led repeatedly to 'Pitiful & Incomprehensible Demoralization' ... just like the AA Big Book describes it.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... Now that the Miracle has happened ... and I maintain that Miracle state of being by working the Daily Steps.

Thanks for the Post, Ice ... keep comin back, and keep us posted on how you're doin

Icewater15

Thanks everyone. I'm just feeling emotional, anxious, and uncertain about the future.

Dee74

It took massive changes for me, and you better believe I was terrified about changing my life...

But I love my life now

D

Coldfusion

I discovered soon after I quit drinking that much of my feelings of anxiousness and depression was due to my alcoholism. Once I got through early recovery, my attitudes and outlook improved.

Hevyn

It's good to have you with us, Icewater. I understand your anxiety - but you're doing a wise thing. I wish I had at 30.

When I was your age, I kept insisting I could control it. Each time it was in my system, unpredictable things happened. Despite my best intentions, my life fell apart. The only way to stay safe is stop all together. Talking things over here will help. You're in good company.

BeanSkillet

YES, Anna. Trying to moderate is such a chore. It isn't fun and not drinking is just less of a hassle.

Alynn

It is a chore! Glad you are here!

Ruby2

Welcome to SR. I briefly tried moderating but it just didn't work. I stuck with daily drinking for years. I decided that stopping completely was the only way to go. Glad to have you.

escapist

I always felt like a loser when I tried moderation. There is no freedom with that choice. It's like trying to make a deal with myself. However, when I completely stopped I experienced freedom from trying to control my addiction.

D122y

I relate. Moderation then binging (what you do) led to my eventual decision to ask the internet what is wrong with me.

SR answered my questions, educated me. Knowing is the start.

Wanting to live normally is my motivation.

VDGS

Things I can do in moderation:
-carrots
-television
-shopping
-camping
-coffee
-sleeping
-board games
-running
-soda
-socializing

Things I cannot do in moderation:
-alcohol

It's a bummer, but there are lots of other good things in the world that don't lead me to binge daily and hate myself for months while trying desperately to stop. It's all kind of ridiculous when I think of it that way

Good luck on your journey.

Icewater15

Ugh over a year later and here I am again. Another out of control binge on Saturday. I didn't have a plan in place but I do now. I'm making a wellness toolbox and using "Action Planning for Prevention and Recovery. I'm also committing to posting and visiting SR everyday for at least my first year of sobriety. Thank you to everyone for being here.

Hevyn

Icewater, you came back - that's what counts. You haven't given up on a better life for yourself. Maybe now you are ready to get free. You sound more determined. We know you can do it. Keep posting - we all udnerstand how you're feeling. Welcome back to a great place.

Ariesagain

Welcome back. It's great that you're deciding to get sober so young...it will add so much to your life if you give it the time and effort. Honestly, after a certain point, it's easier than the constant debate in your head about whether to drink, what to drink, when to drink, where, with whom, how much, is that too much, yammer yammer...now that's exhausting.

Dee74

Welcome back IceWater

D