Solicitor appointment regarding my parenting struggle
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Solicitor appointment regarding my parenting struggle
Hi guys, I'm trying to get proactive about this. I have a meeting with my solicitor next week and chances are I will suffering badly with insomnia amongst other things and this inhibits my communication skills greatly. I want to write down some of the main point's I need to put to her and we need to get moving on them fast. I'm really stuck to find the words for this last line: the child's emotional welfare is in grave danger and to me it's already starting to show. At a guess I would say it's been showing to other observers- teachers, parents etc. The child has suffered a great deal over the years, especially the last few and I just realized something last night- this is likely what I have been feeling so intensely all along (omfg).
1) My family of origin It's imperative that he has little to no contact with them. I stressed in the court already that he should not be left alone in that house under any circumstance's. That it was more important than the access I was fighting for, I couldn't stress that enough. His mothers reaction was to leave him alone down there the very next weekend where he slept outside in a tent with my homosexually perverted brother all night. These people hate me for the simple fact that I am not like them, never was or never will be and are seething with narcissistic resentments in general which have to be directed somewhere. I have never had a close bond with any of them and my ex doesn't know them from adam, in fact she knows very well that my mother is incapable of honesty or love and that my siblings are likely the same. Would she leave our child alone with a man she's only said hello to a handful of times who she know's lives alone with his mother who is absent, who she know's has never had a sexual partner in his life and is jealous and full of hatred towards her sons father, and who has a huge stash of gay porn and ten dildo's in his room. Can somebody answer that question please? Because there is no difference, whatsoever. If she would do that just to cause me stress and go against my wishes in court what does that say about her parenting skills overall I wonder…
2) His custody Here is the obvious solution, the more time he spends with me the less he can spend with my FOO. However unless that is literally all of the time it's not enough. Anything I do for his welfare (which is everything I do) can easily be undone by my FOO and it will be, I have no doubt about this. The child wants to be with me and always has done. He has said it time and again, he wishes he could be with me every day. He is happy with me in every moment. I practically raised him as a baby he was with me every day for 2 years as his mother worked and they both stayed with me most night's with me having him alone most weekends. I provided a stable environment with the very best of educational toys and stimulation and we were out kicking a ball every day or down at the playground or in the swimming pool. Since then once she got her own place and I was demoted to the role of part time father, he has been carted around between various houses most days week in year out. All of her sisters, her mothers, wherever I was living of course and in more recent years my family of origin, those I know of. That continues to this day and in every instance he wants to be with me instead…
3) Making a will It's not so much the making of a will but I want to know if he is my next of kin now as his legal guardian. It's pretty apparent to me at least that I am a lot older than my years (as for wiser I'm not sure) and my body is falling apart from the stress. I'm covered from head to toe in a rash because of it over half my life and I suffer with a crippling acid reflux problem also. The extreme insomnia, etc. I've been acutely aware now for many years that this level of stress is actually physically killing me. I've been desperate to find and maintain real solutions for it and basically I avoid all stress now at the expense of actually living. But if I were to drop dead tomorrow, while I don't have much money in the bank I need to know that the little I have at least will go to him. Also I am owed a sum of money by my mother, that was the child's money and always was and even my mother is aware of this. While it's not a priority I want to consider the possibility of recouping that for him. Phew, I need a break after writing these points...
1) My family of origin It's imperative that he has little to no contact with them. I stressed in the court already that he should not be left alone in that house under any circumstance's. That it was more important than the access I was fighting for, I couldn't stress that enough. His mothers reaction was to leave him alone down there the very next weekend where he slept outside in a tent with my homosexually perverted brother all night. These people hate me for the simple fact that I am not like them, never was or never will be and are seething with narcissistic resentments in general which have to be directed somewhere. I have never had a close bond with any of them and my ex doesn't know them from adam, in fact she knows very well that my mother is incapable of honesty or love and that my siblings are likely the same. Would she leave our child alone with a man she's only said hello to a handful of times who she know's lives alone with his mother who is absent, who she know's has never had a sexual partner in his life and is jealous and full of hatred towards her sons father, and who has a huge stash of gay porn and ten dildo's in his room. Can somebody answer that question please? Because there is no difference, whatsoever. If she would do that just to cause me stress and go against my wishes in court what does that say about her parenting skills overall I wonder…
2) His custody Here is the obvious solution, the more time he spends with me the less he can spend with my FOO. However unless that is literally all of the time it's not enough. Anything I do for his welfare (which is everything I do) can easily be undone by my FOO and it will be, I have no doubt about this. The child wants to be with me and always has done. He has said it time and again, he wishes he could be with me every day. He is happy with me in every moment. I practically raised him as a baby he was with me every day for 2 years as his mother worked and they both stayed with me most night's with me having him alone most weekends. I provided a stable environment with the very best of educational toys and stimulation and we were out kicking a ball every day or down at the playground or in the swimming pool. Since then once she got her own place and I was demoted to the role of part time father, he has been carted around between various houses most days week in year out. All of her sisters, her mothers, wherever I was living of course and in more recent years my family of origin, those I know of. That continues to this day and in every instance he wants to be with me instead…
3) Making a will It's not so much the making of a will but I want to know if he is my next of kin now as his legal guardian. It's pretty apparent to me at least that I am a lot older than my years (as for wiser I'm not sure) and my body is falling apart from the stress. I'm covered from head to toe in a rash because of it over half my life and I suffer with a crippling acid reflux problem also. The extreme insomnia, etc. I've been acutely aware now for many years that this level of stress is actually physically killing me. I've been desperate to find and maintain real solutions for it and basically I avoid all stress now at the expense of actually living. But if I were to drop dead tomorrow, while I don't have much money in the bank I need to know that the little I have at least will go to him. Also I am owed a sum of money by my mother, that was the child's money and always was and even my mother is aware of this. While it's not a priority I want to consider the possibility of recouping that for him. Phew, I need a break after writing these points...
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Just to compound matters even further here my aunty got a new bed delivered into the room next door today. I've said it before she believes it is going to be her, me and the child here going forward under her rule. Unfortunately for her that is not in the kids best interest. What she needs is a dog- sit & stay etc. That's just the way she is, fair enough, but I cannot subject the child to that mentality. I don't know what the solution is.
I was asking him for his input during the week and he would like me to move back to the town where we were living and where all his happy memories are. I'm not sure how viable that is. If our relationship continues to be a part time one with his mother using him as a weapon to dictate every aspect of my life as has been the case- among other people making life difficult for me there also for no reason, it simply aint. I just don't know.
I was asking him for his input during the week and he would like me to move back to the town where we were living and where all his happy memories are. I'm not sure how viable that is. If our relationship continues to be a part time one with his mother using him as a weapon to dictate every aspect of my life as has been the case- among other people making life difficult for me there also for no reason, it simply aint. I just don't know.
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I definitely think writing things down is a good way forward, whether it be paragraphs or lists of questions to ask in the appointment, you could even print this thread out the night before the appointment to take with you!!
All sounds pretty intense stuff Strat, just remember to keep looking after yourself in all of this, eating, sleeping (when you can), fluids, some fresh air!!
All sounds pretty intense stuff Strat, just remember to keep looking after yourself in all of this, eating, sleeping (when you can), fluids, some fresh air!!
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Good idea Purpleknight. I'm going to take this thread to the appointment, those 3 points cover everything in this domain I think?
As for the first one, I've already mailed my solicitor a brief list of some reasons why I feel the kid shouldn't be going there re: my mother.
I may as well share that in the other thread but reasons aside- if I have no say in which grown men should or shouldn't be taking my kid to spend the night in a tent alone together what use are these papers I've waited 7 years to get???
The child has already been in therapy for what was sexually related behavior several years ago. I was invited to it, and I was completely confused by that.
I came to the conclusion that because his mother is so promiscuous (is that the pc term?) and not very subtle about it at her place which I know for a fact after living there for a couple of months (I got an STD for my trouble) that it had everything to do with that. She also tried to cast this aspersion on me out of the blue in the last round of court dates, and it was obvious to me (and I would assume the court) that was an attempt to shoulder me with her fault. So I am confident again that the reason he was behaving sexually inappropriately in school at that time and was in therapy for it, is a result of her promiscuous drink and drug fueled behavior where they live- i.e having sex with different men while off their heads on drink and drugs with the kid awake in the room next door and likely walking in on them also, and I would imagine that happened a lot over the years.
The fact she brought up in the court that the the child is doing great now, that he was in therapy years ago, and that she didn't want to agree to my guardianship application (but had no problem with access?) in the same sentence while casting me a fake look of consternation at the same time, in that instant indicated to me that it arose from her behavior- that she knows it- that she suspects the authorities know it- and lo and behold that she used her one opportunity to speak in court to somehow try and shift that suspicion onto me with an ambigious sentence (the cretin). It was some of the worst acting I've ever seen (she appeared a bit hungover and coming down tbh) and I have seen a lot believe me growing up with my mother over the years, who as I have said here before should have went to hollywood and left her kids behind as she was worse than absent all my life. Vampire scum
As for the first one, I've already mailed my solicitor a brief list of some reasons why I feel the kid shouldn't be going there re: my mother.
I may as well share that in the other thread but reasons aside- if I have no say in which grown men should or shouldn't be taking my kid to spend the night in a tent alone together what use are these papers I've waited 7 years to get???
The child has already been in therapy for what was sexually related behavior several years ago. I was invited to it, and I was completely confused by that.
I came to the conclusion that because his mother is so promiscuous (is that the pc term?) and not very subtle about it at her place which I know for a fact after living there for a couple of months (I got an STD for my trouble) that it had everything to do with that. She also tried to cast this aspersion on me out of the blue in the last round of court dates, and it was obvious to me (and I would assume the court) that was an attempt to shoulder me with her fault. So I am confident again that the reason he was behaving sexually inappropriately in school at that time and was in therapy for it, is a result of her promiscuous drink and drug fueled behavior where they live- i.e having sex with different men while off their heads on drink and drugs with the kid awake in the room next door and likely walking in on them also, and I would imagine that happened a lot over the years.
The fact she brought up in the court that the the child is doing great now, that he was in therapy years ago, and that she didn't want to agree to my guardianship application (but had no problem with access?) in the same sentence while casting me a fake look of consternation at the same time, in that instant indicated to me that it arose from her behavior- that she knows it- that she suspects the authorities know it- and lo and behold that she used her one opportunity to speak in court to somehow try and shift that suspicion onto me with an ambigious sentence (the cretin). It was some of the worst acting I've ever seen (she appeared a bit hungover and coming down tbh) and I have seen a lot believe me growing up with my mother over the years, who as I have said here before should have went to hollywood and left her kids behind as she was worse than absent all my life. Vampire scum
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I didn't really need to include that last bit, someone can edit it out if they want but I'm getting P'd off now. Here's the next bit…
So after these therapy sessions, of course I was concerned and my ex also was starting to drop the kid to my mothers just to make life difficult for me. Nothing I could do about that only try and make the best of it (difficult for me) then my brother arrived home. Well, he was sickened to see me around the place. The reason? He had the run of that big house with random people drinking up there every night or weekend and he knows I wouldn't tolerate it as does my mother. Infact, one weekend while there sleeping in bed with the child some drunk b!tch who is not even from the area calls to the house at 5am ringing the doorbell (it woke us) and I heard this girl blotto drunk telling my mother 'hi my name is xxxx I just had a fight with my boyfriend, I have nowhere to go and someone said I could stay here if thats ok' and my mother goes 'no sorry I can't tonight Stratman is here with his kid this weekend' wtf??? So obviously it was a bit of a halfway house when I wasn't around.
So after these therapy sessions, of course I was concerned and my ex also was starting to drop the kid to my mothers just to make life difficult for me. Nothing I could do about that only try and make the best of it (difficult for me) then my brother arrived home. Well, he was sickened to see me around the place. The reason? He had the run of that big house with random people drinking up there every night or weekend and he knows I wouldn't tolerate it as does my mother. Infact, one weekend while there sleeping in bed with the child some drunk b!tch who is not even from the area calls to the house at 5am ringing the doorbell (it woke us) and I heard this girl blotto drunk telling my mother 'hi my name is xxxx I just had a fight with my boyfriend, I have nowhere to go and someone said I could stay here if thats ok' and my mother goes 'no sorry I can't tonight Stratman is here with his kid this weekend' wtf??? So obviously it was a bit of a halfway house when I wasn't around.
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And here is the point to this story…
So me and the kid are stuck there now every weekend against our wishes as his mother keeps dropping him there knowing it will P' me off. It's the summer so the mother, brother and sister are there and they are ganging up on us. Calling meetings that we are taking over the sitting room and they can't watch re-runs of my gypsy wedding and jersey/geordie shore for the women, and anything that promotes and idolatries homosexual behavior for the other ***** all day - none of which I feel is appropriate for my 5 year old at the time and in fact the only tv we were watching was kids movies or playing the ps3. It was the brother engineering all this conflict whispering in my mothers ear all the time. The reality is they just didn't want us around so they could swan about talking about how great they are, having any hard up tom or dick up there drinking and generally pretending they are nice people- it aint even their house, but this is all part of the ruse in their plot to take ownership of it.
So thats one thing. However with all this strife going on the whole time with my mother in sister shouting in my face, I noticed something else… The brother was bringing my kid up to his bedroom to 'play grand theft auto' on his computer, while sitting on his knee. Up to the room with all the dildo's buttplugs and gay porn. I had this play-therapy that the kid was attending going around in my head so I followed them up once or twice and felt generally uneasy, told the kid to come back down with me. Well my brother kept trying to do this, so i mentioned it to my mother in about as straightforward a way as a person can - I told her about the kid being in therapy as he was behaving sexually inappropriately and I didn't know why, that my brother had all this sexually inappropriate stuff in his room and I was unhappy about it to say the least- that under no circumstances was he to be bringing the child up to his room or anything like that. She said blah blah but I said look- I just told you the facts and that is it. She obviously had a word with him as he seemed a little pale, but they continued harassing me about this that and the other every day afterwards.
So its new years eve now and I'm having a few tins in my room there alone, the three of them come knocking as they had been plotting all day at the kitchen table and wanted to have another one of these 'family meetings' to ram more of their crap down my neck. This was becoming an all too regular occurrence so I said ok listen, would ye ever F' off ye pack of ***** and you I said to the brother- if I ever catch you trying to bring my kid up to your room again or sitting on your lap I am going to cut your head off and kick it down that town- hey I was drunk or whatever but wether I meant it or not I'l let you decide. So they rang the cops. The cops said sorry but they had no choice to arrest me, and I spent that NYE in the cells and was in court the following day. Which was adjourned, I was in it 4 times over it then that month, on my birthday even and I've been homeless ever since. Never got any of my belongings back, not even my clothes plus they owe me 11 grand. But thats my family for ya.
So me and the kid are stuck there now every weekend against our wishes as his mother keeps dropping him there knowing it will P' me off. It's the summer so the mother, brother and sister are there and they are ganging up on us. Calling meetings that we are taking over the sitting room and they can't watch re-runs of my gypsy wedding and jersey/geordie shore for the women, and anything that promotes and idolatries homosexual behavior for the other ***** all day - none of which I feel is appropriate for my 5 year old at the time and in fact the only tv we were watching was kids movies or playing the ps3. It was the brother engineering all this conflict whispering in my mothers ear all the time. The reality is they just didn't want us around so they could swan about talking about how great they are, having any hard up tom or dick up there drinking and generally pretending they are nice people- it aint even their house, but this is all part of the ruse in their plot to take ownership of it.
So thats one thing. However with all this strife going on the whole time with my mother in sister shouting in my face, I noticed something else… The brother was bringing my kid up to his bedroom to 'play grand theft auto' on his computer, while sitting on his knee. Up to the room with all the dildo's buttplugs and gay porn. I had this play-therapy that the kid was attending going around in my head so I followed them up once or twice and felt generally uneasy, told the kid to come back down with me. Well my brother kept trying to do this, so i mentioned it to my mother in about as straightforward a way as a person can - I told her about the kid being in therapy as he was behaving sexually inappropriately and I didn't know why, that my brother had all this sexually inappropriate stuff in his room and I was unhappy about it to say the least- that under no circumstances was he to be bringing the child up to his room or anything like that. She said blah blah but I said look- I just told you the facts and that is it. She obviously had a word with him as he seemed a little pale, but they continued harassing me about this that and the other every day afterwards.
So its new years eve now and I'm having a few tins in my room there alone, the three of them come knocking as they had been plotting all day at the kitchen table and wanted to have another one of these 'family meetings' to ram more of their crap down my neck. This was becoming an all too regular occurrence so I said ok listen, would ye ever F' off ye pack of ***** and you I said to the brother- if I ever catch you trying to bring my kid up to your room again or sitting on your lap I am going to cut your head off and kick it down that town- hey I was drunk or whatever but wether I meant it or not I'l let you decide. So they rang the cops. The cops said sorry but they had no choice to arrest me, and I spent that NYE in the cells and was in court the following day. Which was adjourned, I was in it 4 times over it then that month, on my birthday even and I've been homeless ever since. Never got any of my belongings back, not even my clothes plus they owe me 11 grand. But thats my family for ya.
Last edited by Dee74; 08-15-2015 at 01:41 AM.
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I'm writing this bit now for my own remembers…
ACTUALLY, based on the exact nature of said behavior (the kid) it could well be the brother.
That would make sense, you know. Right guys, how can I get to the bottom of this???
I got arrested for even saying it, not a great start is it??? Nobody cares obviously, I'm the only one who cares amirite???
Can the cops not investigate this or something, or am I supposed to take matters into my own hands.
Hello…
ACTUALLY, based on the exact nature of said behavior (the kid) it could well be the brother.
That would make sense, you know. Right guys, how can I get to the bottom of this???
I got arrested for even saying it, not a great start is it??? Nobody cares obviously, I'm the only one who cares amirite???
Can the cops not investigate this or something, or am I supposed to take matters into my own hands.
Hello…
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just checking here that you actually suspect your gay brother to be sexually assaulting your son? and you think this because your brother is gay?
if you have concerns for your child, continue to work with Social Services. Homophobia and (hopefully) baseless accusations of assault due to your brother's sexuality is hateful. I'm sorry, but there it is. Gay does not equal paedophile.
I genuinely wish you well and hope you can have all this resolved. Be well.
if you have concerns for your child, continue to work with Social Services. Homophobia and (hopefully) baseless accusations of assault due to your brother's sexuality is hateful. I'm sorry, but there it is. Gay does not equal paedophile.
I genuinely wish you well and hope you can have all this resolved. Be well.
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Just woke up. I have been through the wringer with this parenting thing make no mistake. Thanks.
I was expecting this, which is fine. I just told the story as best I could, this is a few years ago and I have been homeless since or unable to monitor the situation.
It's not a baseless accusation nor was it at the time. I was called to a meeting with a play therapist along within his mother (once) but he attended a few sessions as far as I'm aware - I've always been vaguely informed of anything in his life other than our time together- I couldn't check in on his other problems in school e.g as I wasn't his legal guardian then e.g.
I was totally shocked and confused to hear this like I said: the child was masturbating in his pocket in school, and they wanted to know why maybe this was and so do I, believe me and still. As I said the only kinda conclusion I could come to was that it maybe had something to do with his mothers sexual stuff, as I have never had a girlfriend or sexual partner around him. So far so good.
Without going over it all again (in a hurry), time passed, and that situation I described already was happening at my mothers place. Me just generally feeling uncomfortable with the kid in my brothers room- just a feeling initially, and i had all but forgotten the play therapy or had settled on it had something to do with his mother (she was only guardian then, she had all the power regarding him over me and boy was she using it).
I walked in the room and the child was sitting on his lap, it appeared to me that the brother was aroused and had that kind of look on his face - In didn't jump to a definite conclusion over it luckily for him, and I knew nothing about the gay porn, buttplugs and dildos on display in his room until after this where I was keeping a closer eye on the situation. The penney that dropped last night for me is that the exact behavior the child was displaying in school, was exactly what I suspected the brother of and wasn't sure if I had seen actually, as I said I didn't want to jumpt to a conclusion over it because then what? That is what I saw.
I'm not homophobic btw. As I said I had no indication of my brothers sexual preference at this point (well, it made sense afterwards) until I started paying close attention to this situation - like I said it was born of the fact that I was summoned to this play therapy thing.
As for the homophobic assumption- (again I'm not, I know loads of sound gay people but he doesn't fit both criteria for me) put it this way- if you walked into a room and I had a small child on my lap, I had my hand in my pocket and a strange look on my face, there was a stack of porn there, dildo's and buttplugs etc and I wasn't the childs guardian, but you were aware he was in play therapy for mysterious sexually inappropriate behavior - what would you be thinking??? Honest question.
Thats leaving the gay part out of it, but including it is the more factual aspect.
For the third time, I'm not a homophobe and I can cite many examples of this but I gotta go right now, thats the only baseless accusation and accusing me of hatefulness of all things, btw. I won't be raising this with the kid today but certainly some time in the future (I could do with advice around it yano) and I will indeed mention it to the solicitor. But my 3 points as per my OP are still the same, it's just one piece of a very nasty and confusing puzzle for me and also- what Myth said.
Tbc, as ever comments question etc are welcome thats the whole point aint it? Cheers, peace, later
Originally Posted by chickippo 
just checking here that you actually suspect your gay brother to be sexually assaulting your son? and you think this because your brother is gay?
if you have concerns for your child, continue to work with Social Services. Homophobia and (hopefully) baseless accusations of assault due to your brother's sexuality is hateful. I'm sorry, but there it is. Gay does not equal paedophile.
I genuinely wish you well and hope you can have all this resolved. Be well.
if you have concerns for your child, continue to work with Social Services. Homophobia and (hopefully) baseless accusations of assault due to your brother's sexuality is hateful. I'm sorry, but there it is. Gay does not equal paedophile.
I genuinely wish you well and hope you can have all this resolved. Be well.
It's not a baseless accusation nor was it at the time. I was called to a meeting with a play therapist along within his mother (once) but he attended a few sessions as far as I'm aware - I've always been vaguely informed of anything in his life other than our time together- I couldn't check in on his other problems in school e.g as I wasn't his legal guardian then e.g.
I was totally shocked and confused to hear this like I said: the child was masturbating in his pocket in school, and they wanted to know why maybe this was and so do I, believe me and still. As I said the only kinda conclusion I could come to was that it maybe had something to do with his mothers sexual stuff, as I have never had a girlfriend or sexual partner around him. So far so good.
Without going over it all again (in a hurry), time passed, and that situation I described already was happening at my mothers place. Me just generally feeling uncomfortable with the kid in my brothers room- just a feeling initially, and i had all but forgotten the play therapy or had settled on it had something to do with his mother (she was only guardian then, she had all the power regarding him over me and boy was she using it).
I walked in the room and the child was sitting on his lap, it appeared to me that the brother was aroused and had that kind of look on his face - In didn't jump to a definite conclusion over it luckily for him, and I knew nothing about the gay porn, buttplugs and dildos on display in his room until after this where I was keeping a closer eye on the situation. The penney that dropped last night for me is that the exact behavior the child was displaying in school, was exactly what I suspected the brother of and wasn't sure if I had seen actually, as I said I didn't want to jumpt to a conclusion over it because then what? That is what I saw.
I'm not homophobic btw. As I said I had no indication of my brothers sexual preference at this point (well, it made sense afterwards) until I started paying close attention to this situation - like I said it was born of the fact that I was summoned to this play therapy thing.
As for the homophobic assumption- (again I'm not, I know loads of sound gay people but he doesn't fit both criteria for me) put it this way- if you walked into a room and I had a small child on my lap, I had my hand in my pocket and a strange look on my face, there was a stack of porn there, dildo's and buttplugs etc and I wasn't the childs guardian, but you were aware he was in play therapy for mysterious sexually inappropriate behavior - what would you be thinking??? Honest question.
Thats leaving the gay part out of it, but including it is the more factual aspect.
For the third time, I'm not a homophobe and I can cite many examples of this but I gotta go right now, thats the only baseless accusation and accusing me of hatefulness of all things, btw. I won't be raising this with the kid today but certainly some time in the future (I could do with advice around it yano) and I will indeed mention it to the solicitor. But my 3 points as per my OP are still the same, it's just one piece of a very nasty and confusing puzzle for me and also- what Myth said.
Tbc, as ever comments question etc are welcome thats the whole point aint it? Cheers, peace, later
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The point I was trying to make
The point I was trying to make the other night and before I had to rush out the door yesterday was this…
I believe the cops could or could have got to the bottom of this 'accusation' if they interrogated the guy.
I got F'd outta the house as they were conspiring against me anyway and always have been because I don't agree with their outlook on life (devious, spiteful, opportunistic etc).
I was a bit shellshocked by that, never mind handcuffed and traipsing to and from court for the next month and my life has never been the same since. I wouldn't say I forgot about it, my ex told me 'it was resolved'.
Which led me to believe as i suspected that it was on her. Who here hasn't waked in on their parents having sex for example? Not me, and while it's not abusive as far as I know I feel it's irresponsible. I would never let that happen myself, nor never did.
Thats what I suspected initially, she was his guardian, she knows the play-therapist and I have always been a spare accessory anyway.
She said it was resolved so there was not much I could do about it after that. I wanted to meet that play therapist again, and his mother said no.
However I feel now as then that I was probably right about my following instinct, which is not something to be ignored.
And I feel it would probably be in everyones best interest if it was someone else doing the investigating if it needs to be done, and not me.
(a proper interrogation by the cops would have definitely brought the truth to light is my point, wether volunteered or not). I was massively concerned about this and I never got any resolve. I still am.
How nobody else was concerned is just another in a long list of mind-blowing things that never made any sense to me.
One thing I just realised is that I should have a legal right now to speak with that play-therapist about this without my ex partners permission, and this is exactly where my head was at before I became homeless.
Is that a good idea peeps? It's being responsible and proactive. I didn't fight/wait for this guardianship for 7 years for no reason.
Nor did I give up and sacrifice the prime years of my life in order to be a great parent just to let something like this fall by the wayside, wtf.
Any input? I meant to say it the other night that someone here must have dealt with similar things either personally or professionally.
And please, do not question my motives uness your intention is to make a very bad situation worse, no offense. Thanks in advance...
I believe the cops could or could have got to the bottom of this 'accusation' if they interrogated the guy.
I got F'd outta the house as they were conspiring against me anyway and always have been because I don't agree with their outlook on life (devious, spiteful, opportunistic etc).
I was a bit shellshocked by that, never mind handcuffed and traipsing to and from court for the next month and my life has never been the same since. I wouldn't say I forgot about it, my ex told me 'it was resolved'.
Which led me to believe as i suspected that it was on her. Who here hasn't waked in on their parents having sex for example? Not me, and while it's not abusive as far as I know I feel it's irresponsible. I would never let that happen myself, nor never did.
Thats what I suspected initially, she was his guardian, she knows the play-therapist and I have always been a spare accessory anyway.
She said it was resolved so there was not much I could do about it after that. I wanted to meet that play therapist again, and his mother said no.
However I feel now as then that I was probably right about my following instinct, which is not something to be ignored.
And I feel it would probably be in everyones best interest if it was someone else doing the investigating if it needs to be done, and not me.
(a proper interrogation by the cops would have definitely brought the truth to light is my point, wether volunteered or not). I was massively concerned about this and I never got any resolve. I still am.
How nobody else was concerned is just another in a long list of mind-blowing things that never made any sense to me.
One thing I just realised is that I should have a legal right now to speak with that play-therapist about this without my ex partners permission, and this is exactly where my head was at before I became homeless.
Is that a good idea peeps? It's being responsible and proactive. I didn't fight/wait for this guardianship for 7 years for no reason.
Nor did I give up and sacrifice the prime years of my life in order to be a great parent just to let something like this fall by the wayside, wtf.
Any input? I meant to say it the other night that someone here must have dealt with similar things either personally or professionally.
And please, do not question my motives uness your intention is to make a very bad situation worse, no offense. Thanks in advance...
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Sorry, buddy. I wish I had good advice to give but I'm out of my depth with family court stuff. I am divorced, been so for 20 years and never had kids. My knowledge of family court is limited to the US court system. All I can offer is to lend an ear and a shoulder to lean on, don't know the legal end.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Yeah man, definitely been through the wringer. I didn't know how to cope really when my ex moved to another town so I drank, the 3 of us had been living together up to that point (tecnically her address was her mothers, although she didnt deny this in the court). Sorry I read your comment as that you have been also.
I'm not really looking for legal advice here. More so, this play therapy thing that I was invited to at that time. My ex invited me to that, it was just brief synopsis from the therapist where I was assured it was nothing to worry about and he would be attending play-sessions, and any further enquiries I made to my ex I was told thatr it was 'resolved'. As I've said, making me think it was as a result of her behavior which I knew there was nothing I could do about.
Nor could I contact the therapist directly, she was working from that creche (where my ex worked) and they and his also wouldn't accommodate previously as I wasn't his legal guardian at the time as I know now, all the said was that she was the contact name they had. I simply asked his school to send me a copy of his reports also as me and his mother weren't together, which they denied as per same… But obviously I didn't just stop thinking about that.
What I will say, apart from yourself Myth. I've provided a lot of information in this thread (and others of course) and the only thing thats come back is that "I'm a homophobe".
Now, if that is the only thing that stands out here and in my other threads- which aint even true by the way, it's a slant on me for trying to share my problems then there are some serious missing links along the way somewhere.
And I am they only person who is trying to F'n find them, while at the same time being constantly poked with sticks "because I drank". FFS
I'm not really looking for legal advice here. More so, this play therapy thing that I was invited to at that time. My ex invited me to that, it was just brief synopsis from the therapist where I was assured it was nothing to worry about and he would be attending play-sessions, and any further enquiries I made to my ex I was told thatr it was 'resolved'. As I've said, making me think it was as a result of her behavior which I knew there was nothing I could do about.
Nor could I contact the therapist directly, she was working from that creche (where my ex worked) and they and his also wouldn't accommodate previously as I wasn't his legal guardian at the time as I know now, all the said was that she was the contact name they had. I simply asked his school to send me a copy of his reports also as me and his mother weren't together, which they denied as per same… But obviously I didn't just stop thinking about that.
What I will say, apart from yourself Myth. I've provided a lot of information in this thread (and others of course) and the only thing thats come back is that "I'm a homophobe".
Now, if that is the only thing that stands out here and in my other threads- which aint even true by the way, it's a slant on me for trying to share my problems then there are some serious missing links along the way somewhere.
And I am they only person who is trying to F'n find them, while at the same time being constantly poked with sticks "because I drank". FFS
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I would say you absolutely have the right to review those records. The brother's actions, as well as having pornographic "stuff' around the room is very alarming in my opinion. Especially if you could visually see that he was ahem...aroused. You have every right to research into this and get to the bottom of the situation. I am a big believer in gut intuition, and if your gut is screaming that something is wrong, it is.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
I'm back after a much need hiatus, tbh.
I read your comment before heading out the door, hopeful, and certainly you are right.
I gotta launch back into this stuff this week. Met the solicitor for 3 hours, which is good is desperate to do that but I'm not sure what the plan was, my nerves were shot. Must give her a shout again.
Oh yeah and I drank. A lot! But for one night only, in the context of this thread tnh that is neither here nor there.
I don't know what else to say really other than I should have F'd the guy up when I had the chance, exactly what I told the solicitor. Nobody else is doing anything but for trying to make things worse.
The solicitor seemed to understand so I must contact her again but I am just going around in circles here.
I read your comment before heading out the door, hopeful, and certainly you are right.
I gotta launch back into this stuff this week. Met the solicitor for 3 hours, which is good is desperate to do that but I'm not sure what the plan was, my nerves were shot. Must give her a shout again.
Oh yeah and I drank. A lot! But for one night only, in the context of this thread tnh that is neither here nor there.
I don't know what else to say really other than I should have F'd the guy up when I had the chance, exactly what I told the solicitor. Nobody else is doing anything but for trying to make things worse.
The solicitor seemed to understand so I must contact her again but I am just going around in circles here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
I would say you absolutely have the right to review those records.
I'm going to contact his school this week, that was where this was coming from.
I presume they can no longer flip me off as they have done in the past.
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