The first steps and accepting that I will always be an alcoholic.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 226
The first steps and accepting that I will always be an alcoholic.
So today I want to view things differently. I am an alcoholic. I will be even if I don't drink.
I spent many years impressing myself with the things I could do. Alcohol took all that away. It took away my life. It changed me. But I have a choice. I can get that me back.
So the most prevalent advice I have gotten here is to make a plan. The plan starts now. I'll say my ideas on the plan and I would appreciate this boards advice to help me build it.
First I need to always remember why I want to quit. So I am making a list of reasons. Long list lol. Then no matter what I'm going to stop and read the list every morning first thing and before I leave my works parking lot every day.
That's all I have right now but I want to expand that. I have found a few folks I can talk to openly when I want to drink. After my list of why not to I am going to start making a list of things to do after work each day that will force me to not drink each evening. Like I'll get a calender and plan each day. And each activity I will jot down a couple positives so I will have a plus that offsets the minus of drinking.
So that's where I'm at right now.
I spent many years impressing myself with the things I could do. Alcohol took all that away. It took away my life. It changed me. But I have a choice. I can get that me back.
So the most prevalent advice I have gotten here is to make a plan. The plan starts now. I'll say my ideas on the plan and I would appreciate this boards advice to help me build it.
First I need to always remember why I want to quit. So I am making a list of reasons. Long list lol. Then no matter what I'm going to stop and read the list every morning first thing and before I leave my works parking lot every day.
That's all I have right now but I want to expand that. I have found a few folks I can talk to openly when I want to drink. After my list of why not to I am going to start making a list of things to do after work each day that will force me to not drink each evening. Like I'll get a calender and plan each day. And each activity I will jot down a couple positives so I will have a plus that offsets the minus of drinking.
So that's where I'm at right now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi Vendetta,
I like your ideas, and I especially like the idea of focusing on things that will help keep you away from drinking. For me, long walks were so important in helping me in many ways.
I like your ideas, and I especially like the idea of focusing on things that will help keep you away from drinking. For me, long walks were so important in helping me in many ways.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Kennesaw, GA
Posts: 193
The list is a good starting point but for me my problem was that I was great at making the lists/ writing letters to myself/ etc. when I was hung over or after something bad happened. But soon I would just not look at them (after having the best intentions.)
I would take advantage of being able to talk to the people you can openly that you have a problem, including those you'd normally drink with and that you don't drink anymore. Also the making plans for activities sounds like a good start as well but don't overload yourself too quickly. Be patient with yourself in the early going as your body and mind might be all over the place.
I would take advantage of being able to talk to the people you can openly that you have a problem, including those you'd normally drink with and that you don't drink anymore. Also the making plans for activities sounds like a good start as well but don't overload yourself too quickly. Be patient with yourself in the early going as your body and mind might be all over the place.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
This is a really good link to help make a plan:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 5
I believed I was an alcoholic when I quit drinking and went through counseling 8 years ago. After 6 months of sobriety my alcoholic mind told me I only abused alcohol, I didn't crave it daily so I certainly was not an alcoholic. From that point forward I would drink once every couple months when I was away on business or when my wife would leave town for a night. Alcoholism reared its ugly head 10 months ago and I became a regular "sneaky" drunk, during my last few weeks of drinking I really felt the physical effects when I would have to stay sober for more than 24 hours. This time around, I wrote myself a letter on day 2 to remind myself how much it sucked to dry out, I intend to carry this letter with me for when I start to feel really good again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Sounds like some great ideas vendetta!! 
Mine started off basic and then evolved, it included an acceptance that no matter what alcohol was now permanently off the table, my decision making needed to be revolutionised about what activities to get involved in and what people to hang out with, and lastly to keep my good intentions going I was never going to be isolated, I instead would have daily support planned into my day, which included regular SR check ins.
You can do this!!
Mine started off basic and then evolved, it included an acceptance that no matter what alcohol was now permanently off the table, my decision making needed to be revolutionised about what activities to get involved in and what people to hang out with, and lastly to keep my good intentions going I was never going to be isolated, I instead would have daily support planned into my day, which included regular SR check ins.
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Vendetta - Great start. I like hearing that you have begun the process of changing how you think about alcohol. Give yourself some time and add other things you can do to help with this change. Simple things like: eating better, new forms of exercise, going to therapy (one on one or group), learning new hobbies, the list goes on and on (lots of great ideas on SR!) The best plans, IMO, are ones that embrace sober living (yes, there' life after drinking!) AND help protect you from the temptations of returning to booze-fueled insanity.
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