Aiko

Ja ja ja ja give it ice cream!!!
Wish it wasthe solution but a lobotomia is more effective jajjjaaa

trachemys

Ice cream works!

Aiko

I cannn't I just phoned I am going to pop to a house.... I did not even resist a minute.
I am having dinner with family tonight...
But i am genting benxodiazepinas aand joints.
Have to be careful and do little... Cos my family has not got a clue!!!

I stop on monday!!!
I am not drinking at all with the meds, i been warned....
So I can do a little of others... As long as I stop on monday... Then again I been saying it I stop A Few days now :-(
Is going to scalate... It can not scalate...
I got a new job I can not turn up half gone!!!
I will stop by myself!!!

SoberLeigh

I am frightened for you, sweet Aiko.

I don't have any personal experience with benzos but, from what I have read, they are simply hellish from which to withdraw.

How about going to the emergency room?

CaseyW

I hope you'll flush away whatever you have left and start on this new way of life right now. There's nothing extra magical about Monday that makes it the perfect day to stop. Start today!

You're in my thoughts and prayers...

Aiko

I am really half gone in the middle of the dinner thank gid they are drinkungging....
Can not beliebe I am back againmn... What an IDIOT!!!
I sm so relaxxxx is sll I want!!!

Aiko

reaching the roof now,...
and I lost already part of the bootyYYY
can not remenber where it isssssssssssssssç

will find it tomorrow..¡

so far is going very smooth
so can push it further...

SoberLeigh

Aiko, how are you today????

Aiko

Still at it... Half gone..
I found tge joints in rubish bin las night god.
on benzo since yestesday.
Big mistake and I know I have to stop
I hpo i will be able to. Or will start mixing all sortsand end up like last year... i can not afford go back to the clnic not now.

I am on my own on this
Am scared I am tired I am not strong
And did not take night pills...
Quemical changes. In the head start to go bonkers... But took the morning antidepress with happys... I am worryed if I take the two others...overdo quemicals... Not a goid idea...

I am folling sleep¡

Gilmer

Good. Sleep, Aiko! No more benzos!

thomas11

I couldn't agree more with what Dee said, and I also believe it applies to many more things than just alcoholism.

Aiko

I passed out date11111ç

I got to finish it all... I start tomorrow 8'3'0
God my head will be still half sleeping.......... ;(
and confront a crawling snake god I have to play again the chess set!
that is going to be fun..... lets see if the brain responds to tactics and word confrontations......

I am really pathetic... why I do it, why????kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
always the same... pass out to another state and walk with awake people
hiding!

I got to get through tomorrow... will work/cope and get back straight...
not visits... no stops... directly to the safe house.
God I will start getting mad the paranoia sets in... need to calm down....

what the helelñññllll I started....

How did I convince myself to sart???? ...
I think I am going to sart painting again... to concentrate in anoter stuff,
I need to find something to keep me in a clean place but the fridge ;(

that is that is the plan... repeat myself I am NOT going to DIVERT the yellow brick road.. I swear I acan actually see the pavementtttttttttttttttttttt

Aiko

i am gonna finish it all............. no more!!!
shugarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
How long will I last next time??? will I scalete more steps...????
Are we all the same??? or is only some short sighted of us just will never get it ever¿¿¿ will never get it???
NOT A SIP.... well now it doe not matter a couple of puffs.... synthetic... well Anything will do as long as it takes me to the video_Game level:

Because driving feels like a vidiogame... ufffff
But kills people in the real world...
and then you wake up!
Very sore subject!!:

Another rounddddddddddddd
Level 2

Dee74

I think you need a recovery plan Aiko?

This link is very good and pretty clear:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

You can do this - but going backwards won't help you, you know?

D

Aiko

If I did not finish them will find them.... or not=?¿¿?==?¿¿
I am really messing up the doc´s meds.... ufff you watchhhh

I can not even breathe... but still want to finish the smokes!ufuf oh oh ohhhhhhhh

sorry I write here rudely all the nonsense in my head...
but is the only place I can say what comes out of my inside
and keeps me awake so I feel longer the high
(I actually do not get passed quickly)
and I do not feel alone.. Pricelesss::::::___;ÑP)(=?¿¿¿()=
at the end SR banned___________
I come here when I cross the line so I can talk...kkkkkk
(cos I am a selfish little cow!!!)
we can not say what we think in the real world.

A bit more and I am completely empty handed, running out of coins...
the arcade is closing...<- 3

Aiko

Thank you Dee,

will print it out I can not READ that right now... would get stack in the first sentence... I am slow right now!!!
OOOO I ahave to put it in pen drive... I do not want at work realize I do not think straight in the in the .......
the computer footprints at work not a good idea...
well lets see if I can manage to save it ......jajajaja
what a load of bulls sweeetsssssssssss I am w righting

I got to end it all.... last lift up >3

Aiko

I believe i finishsssssssss+
wait)))) no can not find... but can not remember the en vase is==)))?????

This week get chewing gums..............
better close the i.net of the mob..........
return to cloister nun`workz<<dZZ<<home............ wokr...........xçzç<zçzz
Ground hod day again!

My parents are still alive and I await for them...
and My younger brother will be the only child left...
they would not cope...
So have to cope longer alive... in the barby world.¡"ç
I live to be their support for others___
where do I support===??¿¿????
Is an existential problem::::::
if no reason to be alive....
What for....
I live to Work, sadddddddddddddddddd
Do you really want to exist?¿¿?¿=¿¿
no reason, no answer , just an obligation to exist...

here it comes... mood changes... titanic endings..... exaggerations that you believe on top????'
the thoughts is alfred hitchcock film in your head,
how is against you, what are your sacrifice pawns, ...
do you confront others or defuse it :P)?=
I do not know you: but I become aggressive....
impulsive........................ Primitive.....

god I am splashing Sorry :I all day really,,,, Sorry

Dee74

I hope you'll feel better after some rest Aiko

D

SoberLeigh

Thinking of you, Aiko.

Aiko

Is starting....
Am getting nervous!

I want more I want a bunchhhh ...
But I can NOTTTTTTTT

But i am going to go home and lock the door... No visits.... ......
Obviously I am thick xcxzxcdxcgc!
But have to go home... Straight!!!!
But my head sais
A bunch and pass out...

What do I want to be awake for?????
I am sick in the head seriously... Do not undertand my behaviaur....