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-   -   Need a lil support (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/373505-need-lil-support.html)

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 04:26 AM

Need a lil support
 
Past has been dragged up this morning whereby I feel that utter shame and regret and remorse. I cant go into to much detail as police are involved. But I put myself in a vulnerable situation. ME. No one else. I do not wish to press charges. It wasnt me that reported it my husband did. Anyways its all been dragged up again ive been crying, I feel so ashamed of myself. The need to press the **** it button is strong....I drank to forget. The need for self harm is there, husband has had to stop me from hurting myself. I feel utter crap. I just want it all to go away. I dont wanna be dealing with this... I said I wanted to drop it ffs. Police are concerned about a small amount of time where I have a black out... I remember 90% of what happened but 10% I dont.... that is angering me. That I cant accurately say i said this, agreed to that because. I DONT KNOW. 3 weeks sober... I dont need this today.

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 04:31 AM

Sorry prob doesnt make much sense. I was drunk when an incident occured.

Dee74 08-13-2015 04:43 AM

I'm sorry for whatever happened, and that it was bought up not at your instigation.

Please don't be ashamed tho - I know you made a mistake by drinking but these kind of assaults are dreadful, and you being drunk is not in my opinion any kind of justification for them happening.

D

Nonsensical 08-13-2015 04:58 AM

It's an insipid addiction isn't it? You had a blackout episode leading to something horrible, and the addiction tells you the cure is to drink some more.

It's the problem that masquerades as the solution.

Don't fall for that lie.

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 05:04 AM

Trying not too. Self harm thoughts are there instead tho I wont lie. The hatred I feel towards myself its MY fault if I hadnt put myself in that situation in the first place ffs. To be honest I am LUCKY that its didnt turn out to be a lot worse which it could of done. I just want to chalk it up to a lesson learnt and forget about. I give thanks everyday that in fact I was looked after in my stupid stupid drunken state and got home safe. Why wont people listen to me??? I dont want to take this any further. It is stressing me the hell out.

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 05:07 AM

I just want to run... but run away from what? Myself?! I cant do that. I just want it all to go away.

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 05:09 AM

I feel trapped inside my own head at the moment, if that makes anysense.

Dee74 08-13-2015 05:12 AM

I understand you feel responsible but to me being drunk doesn't give other people licence to do what they want.

If we're talking some kind of sexual assault (no one here needs to know details) I hope you'll check this link out and maybe think about talking to someone

https://rainn.org/

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 05:13 AM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 5509165)
I understand you feel responsible but to me being drunk doesn't give other people licence to do what they want.

If we're talking some kind of sexual assault (no one here needs to know details) I hope you'll check this link out and maybe think about talking to someone

https://rainn.org/

Police and husband say it was a sexual assault. I dont agree it was.

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 05:14 AM

This is a head ****. I shouldnt of posted. Its not doing me any good. Could admin remove my post please x Thank you x

Dee74 08-13-2015 05:15 AM

I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm just giving you people to talk to, if you want to :)

D

Dee74 08-13-2015 05:15 AM

I can close the thread if that's what you want.

D

blueberry2015 08-13-2015 05:20 AM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 5509172)
I can close the thread if that's what you want.

D

Please x x thank you Dee x x x

Dee74 08-13-2015 05:24 AM

Thread closed by request.

D


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