How to relax or let loose without alcohol
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
How to relax or let loose without alcohol
As I sit here thinking about a life without alcohol, I keep coming back to the same fundamental issue. Alcohol is what I use to unwind, relax, have fun, let loose, and reward myself with. I know it's bad for me and I know I am better off without it. But I don't understand what "normal" people do on a Friday night to unwind and "exhale" from the weeks troubles. I think if I'm going to beat this issue, I have to understand what unwinding and relaxing is for regular people...because for me, it's always been alcohol.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
How to relax or let loose without alcohol?
You just do, Scared.
I had no idea how I would relax or have fun either, but gradually I learned a few things.
I learned that feeling stressed wouldn't kill me for example, and I found that feeling stressed will pass with out alcohol.
I found out that exercise, hobbies, and breathing exercises were all better for stress and helping me relax than drinking ever was.
I also found out that I was able to have lots and lots of fun - even without hanging around drink or drinkers.
I've honestly never had a more full or a more joyous social life than I do now.
I'm not going to lie - the early transition phase is not much fun - but then neither was drinking. At least the transition phase of early recovery ends
It really does all work out.
Millions of people out there don't drink for a variety of reasons, and yet they have full and wonderful lives.
You're just going to have to take that leap of faith that I did when others told me this back in 2007.
Try not to worry about the future too much - it all falls into place
D
You just do, Scared.
I had no idea how I would relax or have fun either, but gradually I learned a few things.
I learned that feeling stressed wouldn't kill me for example, and I found that feeling stressed will pass with out alcohol.
I found out that exercise, hobbies, and breathing exercises were all better for stress and helping me relax than drinking ever was.
I also found out that I was able to have lots and lots of fun - even without hanging around drink or drinkers.
I've honestly never had a more full or a more joyous social life than I do now.
I'm not going to lie - the early transition phase is not much fun - but then neither was drinking. At least the transition phase of early recovery ends
It really does all work out.
Millions of people out there don't drink for a variety of reasons, and yet they have full and wonderful lives.
You're just going to have to take that leap of faith that I did when others told me this back in 2007.
Try not to worry about the future too much - it all falls into place
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 148
You get to a point where you start seeing past the illusions of "fun" it brings. So you actually make an effort to reward yourself with something more positive..my idea of fun on a Friday night was drinking till I was blacked out after looking for any after hours pub. .. Maby ive just matured, but that doesn't sound like fun to me anymore
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 654
I find that while I think alcohol made me have fun it's different if I really remember. Often the situation I was hoping it would enhance would become less than it had been. Yes there may be a few moments of feeling on top of the world but it was a very short lived sensation. Mostly it was dulled with no real focus and talking complete rubbish.
A good example. Sit outside on a sunny afternoon. Think, ah this would be so much nicer with a drink and a ciggy. Then after a drink I'd feel less connected to that moment, possibly sluggish and too warm. Less aware of that peace I had originally felt. Couldn't enjoy reading my book out there anymore as focus was shot. Back to good old off to find someone to talk rubbish too. So that nice experience had not been enhanced it had been ruined.
A good example. Sit outside on a sunny afternoon. Think, ah this would be so much nicer with a drink and a ciggy. Then after a drink I'd feel less connected to that moment, possibly sluggish and too warm. Less aware of that peace I had originally felt. Couldn't enjoy reading my book out there anymore as focus was shot. Back to good old off to find someone to talk rubbish too. So that nice experience had not been enhanced it had been ruined.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 316
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/168498-looking-something-do.html
I look at this list and sometimes make my own additions. There is so mumuch nore out there than drinking... I just had/have to figure out which things are more me!
I look at this list and sometimes make my own additions. There is so mumuch nore out there than drinking... I just had/have to figure out which things are more me!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Not sure how many days you have been sober Scared....
For about 10 days..for me...it was detox cravings...masked with fun, relax, unwind....party....
Now it is mental anxiety....saying try a shot...see if the anxiety fades...haha haha. ..
Makes no sense to me anymore. ..the anxiety might fade..for 20 minutes...then I'll need another snort. ..and so it begins..
Be proud...be protective..don't let all the hype fool you any more...
Booze and drugs just hamstring us from living more fulfilling live...
For about 10 days..for me...it was detox cravings...masked with fun, relax, unwind....party....
Now it is mental anxiety....saying try a shot...see if the anxiety fades...haha haha. ..
Makes no sense to me anymore. ..the anxiety might fade..for 20 minutes...then I'll need another snort. ..and so it begins..
Be proud...be protective..don't let all the hype fool you any more...
Booze and drugs just hamstring us from living more fulfilling live...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 57
My cycle was this:
1. Extreme anxiety and stress.
2. Drink.
3. Extreme anxiety and stress.
4. Drink.
I blamed the anxiety and stress on my job, on my wife, on not having enough money, etc. Alcohol was the shining silver cup with open arms waiting for me at the end of every day. But you know what? As your body withdraws from alcohol, the booze plants a world of guilt, shame, and darkness in your brain to ensure that you keep coming back. Eventually, you can't imagine life without it. If you're lucky, eventually you realize that alcohol is often a primary cause of that stress and anxiety it helps you escape. For me, that is the definition of addiction.
So, to get away from anxiety without booze, I'm at the point where I'm willing to do pretty much anything. It's ridiculous, but I took up needlepoint last year and that kept my hands busy and my brain focused. I joined a writers group. I spend more time cooking elaborate meals. And of course, if it's your path, go to AA meetings or post on this board. In my experience, 99% of stress-relievers actually help. Blowing your mind into smithereens with alcohol will only make it worse tomorrow.
Hang in there and good luck.
1. Extreme anxiety and stress.
2. Drink.
3. Extreme anxiety and stress.
4. Drink.
I blamed the anxiety and stress on my job, on my wife, on not having enough money, etc. Alcohol was the shining silver cup with open arms waiting for me at the end of every day. But you know what? As your body withdraws from alcohol, the booze plants a world of guilt, shame, and darkness in your brain to ensure that you keep coming back. Eventually, you can't imagine life without it. If you're lucky, eventually you realize that alcohol is often a primary cause of that stress and anxiety it helps you escape. For me, that is the definition of addiction.
So, to get away from anxiety without booze, I'm at the point where I'm willing to do pretty much anything. It's ridiculous, but I took up needlepoint last year and that kept my hands busy and my brain focused. I joined a writers group. I spend more time cooking elaborate meals. And of course, if it's your path, go to AA meetings or post on this board. In my experience, 99% of stress-relievers actually help. Blowing your mind into smithereens with alcohol will only make it worse tomorrow.
Hang in there and good luck.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I once thought like you are thinking - which is more accurately written:
Get out of your cage.
I hiked the Grand Canyon for my 50th birthday. Sober living made that possible.
Originally Posted by Scared1234 
As I sit here thinking about a life without alcohol, I keep coming back to the same fundamental issue. I have seriously limited myself because Alcohol is the only way I know how to unwind, relax, have fun, let loose, and reward myself...
I hiked the Grand Canyon for my 50th birthday. Sober living made that possible.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I just replied to your other thread, and I'll tell you there is nothing unwinding, relaxing, fun, loose, or rewarding about waking up on the sofa in a mess after blacking out . . . is there??
Alcohol is lying through it's teeth when it has convinced you that's what you use to do all those things, because the reality is far from that in practice.
Alcohol is not the centre of the social universe, and to be honest when I drank there was nothing social about sitting on my sofa drinking on my own and watching TV, there has got to be more to life, and there is!!
You can do this!!
Alcohol is lying through it's teeth when it has convinced you that's what you use to do all those things, because the reality is far from that in practice.
Alcohol is not the centre of the social universe, and to be honest when I drank there was nothing social about sitting on my sofa drinking on my own and watching TV, there has got to be more to life, and there is!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I learned early on in sobriety that I needed to find positive ways of self-soothing. Things that could fill that "void," but were not destructive to myself or anyone else.
Things that work for me include: hanging out with sober friends, going out to a nice dinner, watching a movie or tv show I enjoy, playing video games, listening to and writing music, working out, sitting in the park with a good book, etc.
When I first go sober, things like the weekend seemed unconquerable. How would I get through 48 hours of free time? How would I help relieve the stress of the preceding week without drinking? But now, there are never enough hours in the day to do the things I want to do.
Things that work for me include: hanging out with sober friends, going out to a nice dinner, watching a movie or tv show I enjoy, playing video games, listening to and writing music, working out, sitting in the park with a good book, etc.
When I first go sober, things like the weekend seemed unconquerable. How would I get through 48 hours of free time? How would I help relieve the stress of the preceding week without drinking? But now, there are never enough hours in the day to do the things I want to do.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
If you read VDGS's post, blaming anxiety on the job, the wife and not having enough money, those are all good examples of what we tell ourselves when we want to unwind by drinking. The truth is, drinking makes all those things far more stressful. I had job stress because I was screwing up because of my drinking. I was broke and scrambling to pay bills because I chose to spend my money on alcohol. Things with my husband aren't always easy but that was worse because of my drinking. Without alcohol, all of those things are far more manageable. Drinking only made them monumentally worse.
What you're doing now is trying to rationalize why you must keep drinking. Or at least, that's what I did. But truly, after reading your blackout post, is that fun? You'd rather have that for fun instead of a moment of boredom? Was waking up to those discoveries relaxing? Or stress inducing?
There are millions of different things to do without alcohol. Focus on staying sober. The fun will come.
What you're doing now is trying to rationalize why you must keep drinking. Or at least, that's what I did. But truly, after reading your blackout post, is that fun? You'd rather have that for fun instead of a moment of boredom? Was waking up to those discoveries relaxing? Or stress inducing?
There are millions of different things to do without alcohol. Focus on staying sober. The fun will come.
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