ckoures

Whoops... I talked too soon.

I said I didn't want to drink.

And then, I saw my soon-to-be-ex. Good Lord - do I want to drink Thought about it all the way from where I saw him, back to work. Just that rude way he walks, his dismissive and mean-spirited attitude. I know. I know. That's the way he is. I can't control him. If I could have today, I might have willed him out into traffic. Just kidding. What I would have done before is grovel and plead for him to love and forgive me. What kind of messed up is that?

But I can control me. I'm not going to drink. I have fought too hard to be something better than what I allowed that marriage to turn me into.

So -there. I put it in writing. No way to back out now. And no way am I drinking again.

Dee74

I hope you'll get less visceral reactions seeing him as time goes on ckoures

D

Ruby2

Glad you didn't drink AT the problem and came on here instead. I used to drink at the problem. You hurt me so now I'll hurt me by drinking. Messed up, isn't it?

Keep your eyes on the prize of a better life.

Tooshabby

Wow, ckoures! I'm seriously impressed. Good on you! Stay strong :-)

ckoures

Actually I am the one impressed ... To share such hope and give such support. Thanks. Still like the playing in traffic idea.

Hawk07

Way to go! I know how hard that is. I thought my ex was the devil after our breakup. He even got a job at little cafe a block from my house a couple months after. I mean I could look out my kitchen window and see where he worked and would often catch a glance of his stupid head walking by on his way to work. Yuck. It will get easier. These are the kind of tests that build strength. Persevere.

MythOfSisyphus

Good call! Drinking won't help at all. You are better off without either of them, the booze or the no good bum ex!

Soberwolf

Ckours

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Ckoures!!