nicholasdee

I have written two very emotional posts in this forum and each time I try to submit them, the website crashes. I feel very frustrated and I have been reduced to sobbing because this is not how I wanted my first day sober to feel. I feel so afraid how do I make myself fall asleep?

Also how do I discretely get rid of the empty bottles that I've been hiding in my bedroom?

I feel like a ball of yarn that has been vacuumed into a knot, and I can't keep skimming money from my parents to buy my gin. I hate waking up with bruises on my arms and face with no clue where they came from.

Supposing I can't fall asleep, do you have any advice on how to soothe myself? Where can I go when I need a hug? I;ve been to AA in the past but I'm afraid that I will hate it.

InTheEnd

I couldn't post a new thread either, and I started thinking that maybe it meant I was beyond help and the site was just telling me to give up. Crazy but true...

I'm on day 3 and had a heck of of time with sleep last night. Woke up mad as hell, but not hungover.

I don't have any answers for you but am here to let you know we can struggle together and you're not alone. Hang in there and I'm sure someone will have some good advice soon for you.

((((( Hugs ))))

DitzyDandelion

It can be hard to sleep at first. A lot seem to have had that issue but as I did not I shall let them cover that side. Day 1 rarely feels good but it gets better. Surely better than waking up bruised and guilty? Perhaps jump into a few threads here for now. Soothing your brain at the moment will be easier said than done but it is SO worth getting through this.

nicholasdee

InTheEnd: I am so grateful that you articulated that because when the website crashed I tried to take it as sign as well, and I think wrongfully so. You were the first to respond to me and I'm so glad that you did! Thanks

ccam1973

Nicholasdee, welcome and hang in there. The early days are the toughest. I had a terrible time sleeping early on. It is your body's way of adjusting.

Your normal sleep pattern will return with time. Trust me, all of the effort you put into being sober is so worth what you will get out of it. I had been drinking heavily and daily for over 20 years. Good for you on stopping now versus wasting decades of your life.

Congrats on day 1.

Anna

To submit a new thread, make the title a one-word title.

Unfortunately, there is a problem with the system and has been for weeks now. I guess the techies are working on it.

You can also always copy & paste to Word anything that you want to post here in case it doesn't work.

PennyLane76

Make sure the remember me box is checked when you log in to the website , copy a post if it's a long one just in case. The phone app doesn't allow for new posts I believe, you can just reply to existing ones.

Nicholasdee, there is a lot of support here, and insomnia is very common in early days. Perhaps check with your dr for help with that?

Read around this site as must as you can, there is a secular forum here if AA isn't for you, one regarding insomnia, and just keeping your mind busy by reading will help.

keep posting, that helps too. The veterans will be along for help soon.

Glad you both are here Nicholas and IntheEnd

nicholasdee

Thank you for saying that ccam1973, your encouragement is very heartening.

And thank you, Anna, for addressing my frustration with technology. You are all making me feel like I'm being heard and it is almost instantly relieving. I appreciate the support deeply.

Madruski

If i can't sleep i don't bother rolling around feeling frustrated, I go make a sandwich , have some warm milk and just read until I really feel like sleeping. Also you can install an app on your phone (if you use often) that reduces the "blue light" from your screen. Blue light does something to your eyes and it can disrupt sleeping patterns. Download "twilight"

Good luck , and don't worry

nicholasdee

I am still crying but they are tears of relief. Within the half of an hour I am hearing from people who really seem to care about my drinking problem. Could it even possibly be? I think I have a long journey ahead of me. It seems innately possible that I will mess this up. I have so many questions but I want to put them in the appropriate "rooms"

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me. Knots on my head from falling down. Going to the hospital to get stiches, etc. etc. etc..

If you plan on making a long post it might be a good idea to copy what you have written before posting. This way if it is lost you can easily try again. A few of my very long posts were also lost. Tried again and lost yet again.

MM

Surrender2win

Welcome to SR Nicholasdee and congrats on Day #1. I am fairly new here as well (Day #87)... it does get easier with each passing day. Just hang in there. Read and post here often. You will find a ton of support and advice. SR has been a tremendous help to me. Good luck on your journey.

PennyLane76

There is a Class of August 2015 for people just starting or starting over in August, you may want to post there, we are in early days too. You are doing fine posting questions here in the Newcomers thread too. LOTS of help here, we all understand. I was a master bottle hider too.

nicholasdee

Lesson learned, thank you for the advice

I have this recurring fear that I will wake up in the hospital one day and realize that my arms are handcuffed to the bed. I was sent to rehab as a teenager, but now a few years later I think I'm actually starting to see that I have a disease that is selfishly trying to consume my brain. I feel so afraid it makes me want to crumble into a fetal position.

nicholasdee

I appreciate the understanding that I am struck slightly paralyzed when I think about looking at the other forum subjects. I know there must be very specific ones for all of my doubts and fears but for the moment I feel very safe and respected hearing from all of you here, in my original thread.

biminiblue

Nichol, welcome.

People here are very encouraging and helpful. There is plenty of reading here to keep you busy, and we look forward to your future posting, too.

The sleep thing took me 2-3 weeks to settle down. In the first couple weeks after I quit drinking I treated myself like I was recovering from a serious illness, because I was. Lots of water, good food, gentle walks, a blankie and TV. Some days I couldn't sleep and I'd come here with a cup of hot chocolate and a piece of toast. Usually I could get back to sleep within an hour. What I didn't do was lie in bed worrying and being fearful. There is always someone here.

Buy a half gallon of your favorite ice cream with that money. You'll be glad you did.


Just keep posting in here - don't worry about posting in the other forums. Newcomers is where the action is, anyway.

NestWasEmpty

Nichol, Glad you found SR - Congrats on wanting to get Sober One day or one hour they will add up . I have failed many time too , but keep your mind on the price of a happier life .
As for the empties , if you got it the bottles/can's in the house full. Get them out the same way . A few at a time . Those do need to go, so It will be one less thing on your mind . BTW anything that reminds you of alcohol - favorite cup/ glass ect.. toss it out . Or any other trigger things that remind you of it .
Always make a plan ahead , not to put yourself in a drinking situation - till you feel your strong enough to be around others that drink .
Keep reading & posting . You can do this

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here.

Mountainmanbob

Believe me, that is a healthy fear to have.
Kind of embarrassing to state here but, I have been in that situation.
Locked up and tied down due to my drinking and other things done.

This seems to be a wake up call for you.
It might even be God calling ???
Respond while you still can.

Mountainmanbob

CaseyW

Welcome to SR, nicholasdee. I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of August 2015 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are also in early recovery.

Maybe you can get rid of the bottles late at night or very early in the morning when you won't feel so conspicuous. I was never a bottle accumulator but it's pretty common in us addicts so I'm sure someone will have some better advice soon.

Sorry for the frustration about trying to post with the technical glitch going on here currently. Like anna said, if you need to start a new post for now, use a one word title and then after it posts you can edit the title to something longer if necessary. Hopefully the company that owns these forums will get this problem solved soon.