DitzyDandelion

When I get to having a productive day the first think I think is, I deserve a drink. It is completely in built that this is my luxury or treat for doing so well. Of course I know even if some days it is one sooner or later it is many, or drinks days I did nothing. Then sooner or later some terrible mistake while drunk.

I feel I need some form of replacement little reward. I would love to take a long hot bath and read a good book but no bath at this flat just a shower. Left most my books behind too. I am not huge on sweet stuff. I can't think of anything relatively cheap that fits as a little bit of pampering myself to do when I feel I did good.

I know this is something that once I get past the huddled on the sofa reading SR all day and start getting things done, will become a real trigger. AV is going to be all over it. I need to plan ahead and hoped maybe people had some ideas to help.

DitzyDandelion

It is a pretty big one as I looked about and thought I must have a good clean up of the place soon. Then my mind jumped right to that nice yay you did stuff accomplished feeling. This was instantly followed by the pull to reward that feeling with a drink. As though there was no way to experience and enjoy that feeling if it did not lead to having a drink as a reward. So it really worries me. Almost making me feel like I can't get motivated to get things done without it going that way.

As though getting things done makes me feel good and in control and if I am in control surely a drink is perfectly normal.

soberclover

I found that the craving for a drink became less and less with each day that I stayed sober. I was also able to learn to be grateful for the little things in my life as I didn't notice so much because of the drinking haze I was constantly in. I've incorporated a ton of reading back in to my life. I also get a massage each month. Ice cream is a must. Pinterest has become a bit of an obsession on the computer. I've turned in to a bit of crochet fiend...for some reason the repetition of crocheting is comforting and keeps me busy....I'll be very warm this winter with all of these blankets

Eliasson

I am early days in sobriety but I have asked the same thing of my sponsor. She suggested a bath, but she said even take a nice shower and rub lotion all over your body. She also wants me to find a special replacement drink, maybe a mango juice or club soda with cranberry and a lime, whatever appeals to you, and drink it out of a pretty glass. I have found herbal teas in the evening to be comforting also.
I have also treated myself to a movie and a massage and made a ritual of preparing a beautiful, healthy meal. It makes me feel like I am doing something good for myself. Self care as opposed to consuming alcohol which was so destructive in my life.
I read a lot too. Can you go to a library for a book? I download books right onto my phone. I hope this helps!

DitzyDandelion

Thanks. I just know this is going to be one very specific trigger that is going to come up for me. I need to be prepared for it.

strategery

One of the things that you may enjoy spoiling yourself with (and isn't too expensive) is special flavors of loose leaf tea. There are many kinds of flavors like carrot cake, pumpkin pie, fruit punch, as well as herbal teas, which I also sometimes enjoy. It makes for a nice replacement drink and I enjoy them.

You could also look into a gym membership. One of the things that really helps me when I am having cravings, is zumba. I like to dance, it isn't too intensive to where I can do other aerobic activity if I need to, and it's something I enjoy.

DitzyDandelion

Good ideas. Though my ex from many moons back always had herbal teas and I never really took to them.

I looked into the gym but a lot is too expensive for me till I find work. I know in theory I could use the booze money but I didn't really HAVE the booze money to spend in the first place.

TroyW

Best I can think of is deprive yourself of something you enjoy, and instead, turn it into a reward for yourself, and only allow yourself it at those times. Will alleviate the money issue.

For example, is there maybe a TV show you really enjoy? Record / download it, but don't allow yourself to watch it unless it's to reward yourself.

Is there a certain meal you really enjoy? Don't allow yourself to cook it, unless it's for a reward. How about a favorite restaurant? Maybe a certain park you like to stroll through? Maybe a cafe you like to enjoy a coffee at? How about a game you like to play on your computer?

I don't know, just throwing ideas off the top of my head.

RogerD

Hi dandelion,

I have tried changing my routine. It used to be get up hungover. Coffee, coffee, coffee....then get everything done as fast as possible, as much as possible, then ahhhh, Drinking by 4. Now I may not start trying to do stuff until three or maybe four, so then I get stuff done by 8 and I'm starving so I eat and then go to bed. It's dark already. By the way, it took quite a few failures to get it right

Meraviglioso

I totally understand the reward thing and had to find a replacement myself. I love drinking sparkling water, especially during the hot summer. I also like adding things to my water to make it tastier. I decided to save those tasty versions as my special occasion or reward drinks. So I drink sparkling water throughout the day as I like. Only in the evenings at the typical time I would reach for wine do I allow myself a sparking water with crushed mint and lime. The only other times I allow this treat are emergency situations such as today when I stopped by a bar to bring a birthday gift to a friend. She drinks, we used to drink together, and today we wanted to visit to celebrate her birthday. Although it was outside of my "hours" for my special drink, it was an occasion that called for something special but instead of turning to wine I turned to my special drink.

Soberwolf

Why not treat yourself to a new book make the reward positive

DitzyDandelion

Not sure I can spread my day as I am still only getting motivated in odd flurries. A good thought though.

Ye I could mix my drinks up, water in the day and something nice but without booze as a treat.

I would soberwolf but as soon as I can afford a new book I need to start buying my set books for Uni. I do enjoy reading those too but its not a reward in the same way.

I know I do need to start getting motivated to do things and feel productive. I also know once I drag myself out of the little hidden away curled up crying pit I am in and do get something done that 'need treat' is going to kick in big time.

Sorry day one seems to have been crying all day. Day two I was really manic and up beat. Day three seems to have gone back to none stop crying.

bexxed

If you like exercise, it's free. You can go for a brisk walk or jog without paying for a gym membership. Then you can smell, and see, and feel your blood pumping. Some people think that is torture but others (like me) really like it.

Reading a book is a joy I look forward to lately, since I never did that while I was drinking.

This sounds silly, but I knew someone who colored mandalas (complicated balanced shapes on paper that you can buy at a bookstore) and he loved it.

Saskia

Borrow books from your local library!

DitzyDandelion

Thank you for all the wonderful ideas guys. I think my heads just stuck negative mode but I know I can come back to all these when it picks up a bit or when I really need it.

Today nothing seems to appeal at all. I did get out and walk my dogs which was nice. It didnt really lift me right up or stop the tears but I do love seeing them trot about a bit. Just hoping this passes soon. I hate feeling this way.