Upwardspiral

Subtitled: "When a random act of God inadvertently crushes your self esteem."
A crazy thunderstorm dropped a tree branch on my crappy sedan and destroyed the rear windshield. Of course my budget insurance doesn't cover this. I can't afford to repair it and would rather take it as a sign to return to the car free life. Bicycles just don't let you down so hard
Just your typical working class money woes/bad luck story.
These events always trigger a cascade of increasingly dark thoughts that start with the inadequacy of my current "career" and my lack of education, to my lack of focus and drive to improve my situation, and finally just a feeling of being hopelessly stuck.
I will not drink it away this time, but sitting with these thoughts is awful and I know they'll continue nagging me all day at work.

I really don't know how to proceed with my life at this point, but dissatisfaction with work has been a theme always, even now that I'm doing something I at one time thought was a dream job...I can't even elaborate more or I'll never get this posted.

MIRecovery

I have found an amazing number of things fix themselves when we quit drinking. I have also found an amazing number of things get worse when we don't

Dee74

I'm sorry for what happened upward spiral.
I also know what it's like to have to wait to have the money to fix stuff.

It used to be a trigger for me but now I just see it as a challenge to be overcome.

Don't beat yourself up - accidents happen thru no fault of ours, and not all of us are bajillionaires

Your bicycle idea is a really good one

D

Upwardspiral

Thanks MIR and Dee.
It was my 1st car in 10 years, I've always put cycling first. I felt grown up for a minute when I bought the car last fall but, honestly, I feel much more independent and empowered on a bike!

Rio97

I know the feeling of being "stuck" all too well, and the frustration that comes along with it.

Alynn

Ugh I'm sorry! It's seems sometime we are little "tests" like to try to push us over the edge after we try so hard..... There's something really fun about biking

Ruby2

I'm sorry you're feeling stuck. And that your windshield got smashed. I've felt stuck at work a lot lately. I'm pondering my next move.

Biking is a great option. As to the car, is there a junk yard near you that might have a replacement for sale? I did that with one of my old cars and it wasn't as costly as I thought it would be.

Hang in there!

Ruby2

And that is replacement windshield from the junk yard, not car. Someone had hurled a huge rock through my back window before I got the car insured.

Soberwolf

Upwardspiral sorry dude

MythOfSisyphus

That sucks but don't let it get you down. Maybe just bike for awhile til you get the cash built up. Tape up some plastic so your car doesn't get trashed if it rains. When I drank something like that would have been an excuse to get plastered, as if that would magically fix the window. Of course, it won't.

Hang in there! By the way, I love your username- let it be an upward spiral!

saoutchik

Sorry to hear about your car upwardspiral

You can get a temporary windshield if it is the rear - not burglar proof obviously but it will keep the elements out

DoubleDragons

That really sucks! When I find myself spiraling in pity for myself, I remember this:

It's a pity that we can't forget our troubles like we forget all of our blessings.

Then I force myself to start a gratitude list until I feel better about things.

Upwardspiral

Thanks everyone, those are some very helpful suggestions. I will look for a junkyard replacement. Honestly I am the kind of person who would keep using that car with plastic in the window for another 6 months. I am also the kind of person who will say to hell with it and sell the car, vehicle ownership is too expensive!
I like the quote Doubledragons and I did make a point to celebrate the much needed rain that came with that storm. Have a great Tuesday everyone

2WheelsGood

At least it happened in summer? You won't have to scrape ice off of it.

You can see what it's like to have a convertible for a while? Less need for AC.

It's easier to load now? Time to go pick up those 8ft boards from Home Depot.

(sorry, just trying to find a pony in here...)

Hope things turn out for the better for you.

Upwardspiral

That's hilarious 2 wheels. I actually do have a cabinetry project in mind...

bexxed

Many years ago my engine blew in my car. I was drinking although it wasn't bad yet, and although I had thought even back then that I had the potential to have a problem, and I was definitely near the edge of a problem, it wasn't one, yet, back then. But that car dying was a huge problem, because I'd had money problems, due to being out of work from an injury. Anyway, I had to start riding a bike while waiting to get another car. It lasted 4 months and I lived 15 miles away from work and school (I was in school back then) and, on the top of a mountain to boot.

I got in amazing shape. I also had lots of time to think. It was so hard, but it had some rewards. I did end up leaving that job, ironically, at the end of the 4 months. And even though my drinking wasn't bad, yet, it became much less when I was riding my bike 1.5/2 hours on either end of work/school. I look back on that time as one of the best in my life, because it really changed what had started to become an unhealthy routine, and opened my mind to other possibilities.

For me, I wish I had kept that healthy outlook after I got the car back, but, everything leads us to where we are, and I'm thankful for it now because it's something I can remember and strive for again. I wasn't sober then, and thinking now, when I did drink then, it was alcoholically, but it wasn't anything like it had been before and after.

That being said, I hope you can get your car fixed, but my hope in sharing my story is that you can hear that for me, it wasn't the end of anything, but a good opportunity to see and create something positive in a negative situation.