vanaprastha

Welcome. If you'd like to try, you're ready.

Lots of good advice in this thread; I will just add that you are welcome to join us in the Class of August 2015 thread -- you will find lots of support from other people going through those first really hard days.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Yogapants!!

Yogapants

Wow, I'm overwhelmed by all the welcome messages and support! Day 2 today. I cooked dinner and really wanted that glass of wine while I was cooking. And now, to relax after a tough day at work.... But I'm here.

Someone asked a question about why day 4 or 5. Why the pattern. This is a habit my ex husband and I started years and years ago, a couple of glasses of wine after a long work week on Fridays, some wine Saturday evening. For years that worked fine. But the last 8 years or so it became wine most evenings and spiraled from there. I've been divorced for 3 years now and have been really struggling with it since. Mind you, on the surface everything is fine. I have a great job, my finances are in perfect order, I haven't done anything stupid while drunk. But last week I drank 5 bottles of wine in as many days. And I just don't seem to be able to stop.

Yogapants

Just to continue the thought, some weeks I'll make it sober to Friday, some weeks I can't. But I can't remember a weekend in years that I didn't drink.

2muchpain

Do you have family or friends you could stay with over the weekend? Getting out of your drinking environment might be helpful. John

Yogapants

Unfortunately not. No family around here. Friends drink socially so it wouldn't work. Need to come up with a plan but it feels so weird not to drink on a Friday night... Well, not weird, just inconceivable.

2muchpain

I've know people that spend a lot of time at AA meetings, and eventually find support there. What do ya think? Joh

Yogapants

Yeah, that's an option but I'm not quite convinced by AA. And not at all a spiritual or religious person, so their approach is not really my cup of tea.

PennyLane76

Welcome yogapants! There is a secular forum here you may find helpful to check out other recovery programs.

thomas11

Hi yogapants, you can add me to the list of folks who think medical treatment/detox may be your wisest option. If you've really been trying for 8 months, and its actually gotten worse, professional help might be for you. Wish you the best.

Savior

Hi Yogapants- I started on my path of sobriety knowing that I was not in control and I needed to change. Here was my first mistake: I was reaching out for help but I was stubborn and wanted to do things my way. I didn't want anybody to know, I didn't want to use any sort of support system, and I didn't want any sort of treatment. That didn't work too well.

Now I go to therapy, do not hide my recovery from people in my life and I frequent soberrecovery.com. I struggle daily, but I know the shame of admitting I'm an alcoholic pales in comparison to the shame my daughter would feel finding me dead on the bathroom floor with a bottle of vodka in my hand.

Stay strong!

bookmaven

How about making a list of alternative activities you could do on Friday to relax after a busy week. When the thought pops into your head that it's time to drink, recognize it as the addicted voice (AV), it's just a thought and it will pass. Do the things on your list to distract yourself while riding out the wave of a craving.

Welcome!

JaneLane

Something that's helped me aside from AA, is therapy. I signed up for it through my gp and I go once a week. It's actually been really helpful in building my confidence now I'm sober so I'd recommend giving it a go if you're interested!

I can relate a lot to drinking every night and how it's escalated. Have you planned out your weekend? I keep myself busy and get out of the house!

RogerD

Hi. I started my battle on May 30th. Today is day 10 again. It's really tough in the beginning. I think the first day 5 was the toughest for me. But it gets better and easier. I have started trying AA. Only a few meetings but it has been helpful. Hang in there. You can do this.

Yogapants

Those of you saying I need help are absolutely right. I do. I've tried dealing with this alone and clearly it's not working. And what I said about AA is based on what I've heard and read about it. So today I decided to try AA. I went to a meeting after work. My very first time. I still don't think it's for me - the religious aspect does not appeal, the touchy feely sharing was a bit much. Too much drama in people's lives. But it was good to see that I'm not the only one in my predicament. And it felt good to be able to finally admit that I'm an alcoholic. So I will give it a chance and will go again.
I'm also planning to call our EAP and see if I can find a therapist.