I will leave now
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Missoula, Montana
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by JerryFish 
Thank you. It is my reason for not wanting to come back. Because my AV has gotten into the realm of insanity.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by Dee74
I felt the drive to drink more when I was sober too Jerry - I called that addiction not insanity.
I drank so much for so long, being drunk was my normal.
I craved my normal. Again I call that maladjustment, not insanity in the true sense of the word.
but - even if there are other issues involved here with you, there's a lot of folks here who deal with mental illness as well Jerry.
There's a lot of help and support, here and in the real world, for whatever is ailing you
I categorically guarantee that things will be better if you get sober and stay that way tho
D
I drank so much for so long, being drunk was my normal.
I craved my normal. Again I call that maladjustment, not insanity in the true sense of the word.
but - even if there are other issues involved here with you, there's a lot of folks here who deal with mental illness as well Jerry.
There's a lot of help and support, here and in the real world, for whatever is ailing you
I categorically guarantee that things will be better if you get sober and stay that way tho
D
xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 515
Jerry - I'm not even gonna look for your "crazy" post but I can tell by this thread tho that you really need to be here.
Alcohol brings out the insanity in people. It's so darn dangerous. Not to mention the other issues going on in each one of us.
You sure got Dee talking and with some great advice! Thanks Dee.
I've seen lots of crazy posts on here. Then you kinda see that the person is ok but really really battling this disease. We all need various stages of help.
I definitely think you should stay and keep working thru this.
Olivia.
Alcohol brings out the insanity in people. It's so darn dangerous. Not to mention the other issues going on in each one of us.
You sure got Dee talking and with some great advice! Thanks Dee.
I've seen lots of crazy posts on here. Then you kinda see that the person is ok but really really battling this disease. We all need various stages of help.
I definitely think you should stay and keep working thru this.
Olivia.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
jerryfish alcoholic's never ever have a sane relationship with alcohol ever! We neither can drink like other normal people. It is an illness and a disease. Your other post is your addiction speaking not you, alcohol not only pickles the body but the mind too. I am so pleased you are doing something about seeking help on your recovery, its tough to do this alone. Its hard to surrender ourselves to the fact that we are alcoholics and that this is an illness. None of this is your fault okay you are battling a pretty powerful addiction and an illness but thats not to say all is not lost. The only way forward Jerry is complete sobriety and you will of won the battle.... you can do it. Taking back my personal power from alcohol is the best thing I have ever done but ive not done that on my own but Im still early days and have my wobbles. Please come back and let us know how your doing x x blessings to you x x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by JerryFish
I would love to come back here. The insanity doesn't stop when the alcohol wears off though. When I'm perfectly sober, something tells me to down some more, to get stronger. That is the insanity.
I want to come back, but in exposing my complete driving force behind my drinking, I feel I've established I'm crazy. Which I really am not, just in this area.
This is not to discourage anyone to lay bare their motivations for drinking. I am certain none can come as close to mine and probably will be understandable. Mine are just nuts.
I want to come back, but in exposing my complete driving force behind my drinking, I feel I've established I'm crazy. Which I really am not, just in this area.
This is not to discourage anyone to lay bare their motivations for drinking. I am certain none can come as close to mine and probably will be understandable. Mine are just nuts.
Jerry, with all due respect, and I do say this with care and concern, you are not that special! You are not unique in your addiction to alcohol or even your severely strong dependence on it. Your reasons for wanting to drink even though you are an alcoholic are no more insane or crazy or special or weird or whatever than any other alcoholic who wants to drink. So you think that drinking makes you stronger like lifting weights does. ok, wow, weird, whatever. It doesn't, you know that, so just stop it.
You can stop, you are not a lost cause or a hopeless case.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
We are all the same, JerryFish - alcoholics in various stages of battling the 'demon' - alcoholics in need of support.
Spend today rehydrating; eat small, light meals; get some fresh air; get plenty of rest; be kind to JerryFish.
Hope to see you soon.
Spend today rehydrating; eat small, light meals; get some fresh air; get plenty of rest; be kind to JerryFish.
Hope to see you soon.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
JF, thanks for posting, it helped me today.
When I first stopped drinking I couldn't even find a sane thought in my own head. I was going to AA meetings and some of the stuff that came out of my mouth was cuckoo. I knew it, but it came out anyway.
That was in my early days of sobriety and it really freaked me out. Sitting at home drinking I tended to feel really smart, really quick, above everyone and the alcohol gave me inspiration and creativity I couldn't get any other way (so I thought.) In a way it was a connection to the divine - to perfection. Crazy? Slightly. Problem was, I couldn't go two days without a drink without feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. It was a brain disorder, a mental illness that was completely reversible with abstinence and a little introspection.
You are in a safe place, and in a place that can be your sounding board. The delusions will disappear with continuous abstinence to let your brain heal. Like Dee said, there is help for whatever issue you are facing and you can be a whole and healthy person.
We all have the ability to heal our lives.
When I first stopped drinking I couldn't even find a sane thought in my own head. I was going to AA meetings and some of the stuff that came out of my mouth was cuckoo. I knew it, but it came out anyway.
That was in my early days of sobriety and it really freaked me out. Sitting at home drinking I tended to feel really smart, really quick, above everyone and the alcohol gave me inspiration and creativity I couldn't get any other way (so I thought.) In a way it was a connection to the divine - to perfection. Crazy? Slightly. Problem was, I couldn't go two days without a drink without feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. It was a brain disorder, a mental illness that was completely reversible with abstinence and a little introspection.
You are in a safe place, and in a place that can be your sounding board. The delusions will disappear with continuous abstinence to let your brain heal. Like Dee said, there is help for whatever issue you are facing and you can be a whole and healthy person.
We all have the ability to heal our lives.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 486
I back after 3.5 years away from SR, Jerry. We all have our moments. I can either focus on 2012, which I can never take back, or I can focus on today and tomorrow, which I have complete control over. You can do this!
Lee
Lee
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