ItsJustMe89

I need to get sober again. I got the job that I wanted and it starts on the 17ths. I will have to start getting up early every morning and getting to work on time which is not easy for me because I am not a morning person at all. In fact, I lost my last job due to excessive tardiness. So I have to put a lot of effort into making sure I am on time so that the same thing doesn't happen again.

I think if I continue drinking, it will only be a matter of time before I lose this job too. I might get away with it for a while but there will be that night where I stay up drinking and watching Netflix and I oversleep in the morning and wake up 2 hours past the start of my shift....

But the thought of getting sober right now is overwhelming. I have been drinking heavily every day since I relapsed 3 months ago. I am scared to know what damage I might have done to my body and how unhealthy I am right now. And everything that I put off or avoided while drinking is just sitting there waiting for me to deal with it which is overwhelming.

I know that all I can do now is begin walking down the right path and deal with everything as it comes. But I am scared of facing life on life's terms. Facing reality sober is an overwhelming thing for me.

I scare myself at how many problems have all piled up on top of each other in my life and it seems like a huge mountain of stuff waiting for me to deal with. And the problems that I anticipate having to face but don't even know if I will have yet. Those are scary too.. the "potential" problems that I worry about.

I just feel like a crazy person. I have a lot of anxiety, fear, self doubt, and things that need facing. But I guess most people who find themselves needing to get sober have had those feelings too. If I didn't, I wouldn't be needing to get sober right now.

OnMyWay7

Yes getting sober will solve many of the issues you're talking about. What is your plan? Who are you going to reach out to when things get hard?

doggonecarl

Problems not solved by drinking, problems exacerbated by drinking. Drinking only drags this out. The only person who can put a halt to all this is you. It's has to start some time. Make today day 1.

ItsJustMe89

OnMyWay7, my plan is to make it a priority to go to a meeting once a day. I will look for a sponsor and I will work on getting past the initial detox. And when things get tough, I can always reach out to my old sponsor because we still talk every once in a while.

I think once I start working, my 3 priorities that I should focus on will be doing well at my new job, going to a meeting once a day, and getting regular exercise. If I can stay focused and committed to those 3 things, it should keep me really busy and take up most of my time.

doggonecarl, you are right.. I am the only person who can stop thing insanity and turn things around. It just makes things worse the longer I wait. And there will never be a good time to go threw the withdrawl of detox. So I might as well start now. Make today day 1. Although, that is easy to say right now. But by nighttime, it won't be so easy to resist having a drink to help me get to sleep.

doggonecarl

Then you stay awake all night.

Your job isn't until the 17th. Plenty of time to get through the worst of quitting. If you can't make it through tonight, it doesn't bode well for being sober when your new job starts.

leviathan

Starting now is a good idea. You have enough time before starting the job. I thought I hated mornings too. Turns out I was hung-over for about a decade...Ha!

ScottFromWI

That's actually not all you can do. There's several actions you could take today that would help you face life on it's terms.

1. Make an absolute commitment to sobriety. That could mean going to an AA meeting and sharing. It could mean simply making a pledge to yourself that "I will not drink today no matter what". It might mean praying. It's going to be different for everyone, but you cannot have a plan if you don't have a goal...and accepting that you cannot drink at all, ever, not even one drink helps set the stage for the future.

2. You could call a drug/alchohol counselor or resource in your area. Most cities have municipal or county facilities that have free or reduced rate services. Explain your situation and see what services they have to offer.

3. You could call your doctor and schedule a physical. You have mentioned that you have health concerns and you also cheated on a drug test yesterday. Why not clear the table and just be honest with your doctor about everything, you could also get some peace of mind that things are OK physically, and if not work out a plan to make them better.

4. You could do some reading on Self help for sobriety and general sobriety literature. The AA big book is a great read even if you don't plan on ever going to AA. It's free and it's online.

The bottom line is - pout as much effort & time into not drinking/sobriety as you put in to drinking and you'll be amazed at how far you can get.

Anna

This is what you need to keep in mind all the time. Whatever has happened is done. Taking care of your health, physically, mentally and spiritually is the best thing you can do today and every day.

You are not a crazy person. You just need to learn some tools to deal with life in a healthy way. It's normal to be scared, but know for sure you can do this.

Soberwolf

^^^^^^^^^

CaseyW

Sobriety is a better way of life in every single way.

Lot of good advice above me here.

Wishing you the best on this road to recovery. Stick close to these forums. We're here to help.