Fell off the wagon
 

Hi. Up until about a month ago I had a year and 1/2 sober. But for some reason I wasn't connecting w group members and I had recently moved to where I am now and don't know anybody. Weekends were killing me and after 2 months of really struggling I picked up again to get thru the weekends. Now it's almost daily and I don't want it to keep slipping away. I'm trying to find the humility to start over. But I'm a natural isolator and the solitude is a killer. I was hoping that by joining this forum I could get a little more connected. Please feel free to respond.

Welcome to you Jernigan! You won't feel alone here - we all understand what you're going through.

I don't know why we assume drinking will comfort us or make things easier. I did the same thing for decades. I'd fall back on it to see me through, when all it did was make me numb & prevent any real change from happening. I'm glad you joined us!

Hi Jernigan. You are very welcome here. I hope you find the strength to give up again soon, I had to start over with a new job, new friends and family situations drinking slowed the process down, I'm out there now and things are going well, I'm not confident but I've got a good social life again now-it just takes time. Be kind to yourself and put the bottle down because you deserve to be happy:-)

Being a person who enjoys their own company is not so bad...but, new activity patterns are in order because drinking is a really poor long term solution. What do you like to do? What's fun for you? How do you spend your time/how do you want to spend your time? Joining SR is a great start...the people here are friendly :-)

Welcome to SR, Jernigan. This is a great place for understanding and support.

Jernigan!

I would crave being alone!

I am with someone I want to be separated from!

Believe me, the grass is not always greener...

Post here and make friends, I'm trying too...

Welcome! You can guarantee at SR that we know what it's like :D

Thanks for the responses. I'm not sure how this works so if nobody responds I'll assume this message got lost in the thread. I almost couldn't find the thread again when I logged back on. . It's hard to think positively when after 18 months working the program I had nobody in my life. I have a good job and I'm in the gym almost daily and things aren't so bad from the outside, but I never experienced the fellowshipping I've heard about. I did a lot of work on my 4th step on addressing resentments, but right now my biggest resentment is towards the AAers in my community. I guess I can't expect them to come out of the woodwork to bring me out of my isolation, but I share about it at every meeting and admit that I'm afraid to be more outgoing. I thought someone might take me under their wing Bc I've heard of that happening a lot. No such luck. But the resentment is on me and I want to drop it.

Welcome to the family. :hug: I know it's hard to go outside of our comfort zone, but that's where change happens sometimes. And you've got us here to talk to. :)

Hi and welcome! We understand and are here to support you!

I'm a loner too so I am glad to see you here. Weekends kill me, too. I've seen a lot of movies!!! And I think the coffee house people are on to me because I hang out there for hours at night. But I refuse to drink again. I'll do most anything to stay busy. You've had a long period of sobriety before. I believe you can again

Hi - welcome. I can relate -- I have had some difficulty in making friends in AA too. I do have a sponsor I talk to regularly, but other friendships have been slow to start, possibly because I'm very shy and tend to isolate. One thing I did recently was to take a service position -- that seems to be connecting me to the other members much more. Just a thought - -to ask for a service commitment as a way to reconnect.

Welcome Jerdigan

Welcome, Jerdigan!

Another loner here. Weekends are currently still killing me, too. I remember always looking FORWARD to the weekend. Now I'm like, "Uggghh. Is it Monday yet?" And that's a crappy way of looking at things.

Glad you're here! Hopefully we can all help each other out!

Welcome to the Forum Jernigan!! :wave:

You share about the isolation...good! Do people share solutions? Do you listen for solutions?
If you want to get rid of the resentment, get back to meetings and volunteer for service work. Be a greeter. Make coffee.
If you want OT be rid of the fear of being outgoing, work the steps. Find the exact nature of the fear.
As it is, you really should start at step one. And best to have a sponsor. Did you have a sonsor in the last? Have you called anyone from your old area after you moved?

I moved in September of last year. Sober and in AA for 9 years.,it wasn't easy moving away from my friends, but in order for me to get through it, I had to take responsibility for me and get my arse to meetings. Showed up early and stayed after and talk.
And I'm even more blessed now.

Welcome to SR, Jernigan. Building accountability to myself and to others via active participation in these forums has been the cornerstone of my recovery this time. Wishing you the best and hope you'll check in often...

Thanks for the understanding and the welcome. I've been isolating so long that I'm literally out of movies and coffee shops. I'm looking for a new home group and I'll definitely take a commitment there. I know that solution is getting out of my own head, but then again, that's what other people are for. But I'm looking at volunteering options and trying to really immerse myself in work and fitness. I need my strong pillars.

Welcome jernigan - you'll find a ton of support here :)

Have you checked out the Class of August support thread yet?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2015-a-18.html

D