Renegade,

if you are posting on an internet forum devoted to recovery there is a good chance you want to think about things.

Is it OK for you personally to have a small glass of wine, or cup of beer with dinner because of the taste of the food? That is up to you. On a recovery site, the answer is no. Not because of rules but because you wouldn't be here posting if drinking wasn't causing you an issue or two, like it has us. No one here thinks "a cup of beer with dinner" results in anything other than a lot of alcohol where we hate life in the morning.
Most of us day after day after day...

If you are here, asking what to do about a certain drunkfest you will be going to I am not sure what to tell you. Don't go? I know many people who can do this sort of drunkfest a few times a year, can you?

I can't. Thinking alcohol was "something to do" almost ruined my chance at a normal life. Normal people don't come to recovery sites, they don't have to... but we did.

best of luck friend, any support you need with your questions, find it! That is my advice, whether here or there.

It sounds like you are being very honest with yourself and you drinking habits, that is a big step. The next step is to devise a plan and take some action. There is no doubt you can succeed, but i see the word hope a few times in your OP, hope usually doesn't do much good. But action will. Believe me, I don't have it figured out either, I'm just trying to offer you support.

For me sobriety is a means to an end the end being a better life. I simply can't get there if I drink. I will talk about getting there doing what I need to do but I won't do it. Sobriety afforded me the opportunity to change my life for the better. If I could just have one when I wanted to and stop when I wanted to I wouldn't be here right now. I had to make a firm decision and it wasn't whether or not I wanted one beer tonight or not, it was do I want to live like this anymore... and the answer was no. There was really no turning back from that point. Having one right now would kill what self esteem I have fought hard to get back. I have no idea when I would stop if I would convince myself that I'm better now and can moderate and then suddenly lose ten more good years to the bottle before I manage to realize it had me again. Good luck to you Renegade, I believe you can do this.

Welcome Renegade

Thanks folks.

A new day, a new challenge....
What should I drink in lunch today?
I'll let you know later.

Renegade, welcome, nice to have you here. If drinking is a problem for you then you really must stop completely.
You seem to have a lot of technical questions on the ins and outs of alcoholism, that is great that you are researching this. I would highly recommend the following book which explains alcoholism scientifically.

Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism by James Robert Milam, Katherine Ketcham

For lunch today I would go with sparkling water, but that's just me. Do you like sodas? What about tonic water? Fruit juice is also nice. You mentioned in an earlier post that water would ruin the taste of the meal. I am confused by that. Water doesn't really taste like anything unless you add lemon or lime to it. It is simply to quench your thirst. It wouldn't cover up or mask the flavor of anything.
It can be said that wine or beer might enhance a meal in some way, but water most certainly wouldn't take anything away from the meal.

To answer your last question, "being sober" means not drinking. It is true that people who drink have sober moments- during work or school or whatever. But if you have a problem with alcohol you must e sober all of the time, not drinking ever. Not a cup of beer, not a glass of wine, not an all night bender.
If you are able to control yourself and have one cup of beer with lunch then you may not have a problem. Only you know that.
I know that if I have "just one glass of wine" it will turn into as many as I can drink until I pass out. I may get lucky now and again and stick to just one… or two… but more often than not I cannot control my intake, I want more more more. And then I end up drunk. I might do something stupid or embarrassing. I might hurt myself due to being clumsy. I most certainly will waste hours of time being unproductive due to my drunkeness and the resulting hangover.

You came here to a recovery site saying you were feeling shame and regret. You said that you felt ill from drinking a bottle of wine the day before. You said that your liver hurt. Again, only you know if you have a problem or not. But if you do have a problem, the ONLY way to "control" it is to not drink a drop of alcohol. Alcoholics cannot control their intake a drink moderately or like "normal" people.

Best of luck to you.

Oh, edited to add, here is an old thread with excerpts from the book I mentioned: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Have you tried to moderate before? If not, maybe try to moderate for a month. If you can do it, chances are you're not an alcoholic. I suspect that you have already tried this and know the answer.

Honestly - is one cup of beer really worth it?? One small wine?? Will that satisfy the craving that has already got you thinking "what will I drink with lunch?" in the morning? How many of your 'normie' friends do you think are spending time thinking about that while they eat their breakfast?

It's a pretty simple choice- milk. Done.

OK, back from lunch. Had veal and potatoes. Drank sparkling water with a slice of lemon.

Mind: sad and tired
Body: feeling legs heavy and the pain in the liver area is still there

It will get better bud

Ate fish for dinner and drank a glass of lemonade.

Tomorrow I'll have lunch with some colleagues. Let's see how it goes...

Good night everyone. Thanks for all your support.

Today's lunch was very pleasant.

Went with some colleagues to a restaurant. They all drank beer and I drank soda.
I think I can get used to never drink alcohol again. I know I'm only on my 3rd day, but my mindset is very determined.
Hope to remain this way.

Being sober means never drinking alcohol. Do you think you could do that?

We've all tried every single possible way of moderating, but it doesn't work. EVER. That's what being an alcoholic is.

Drinking with meals, I dunno. I never drank anything with meals :D

Good luck!

Nearly made it 24 hours after a 5 day binge. Really went for it this time, 15 double vodkas in a lunchtime session then back to work. Complete insanity, hurt my amazing wife along the way so sense of shame today has been total.
Turn 42 this Wednesday and need to stay sober, best present I could ever have

That's what I think too. We can't ever be moderate and be "normal". I'll just have to accept that. It's OK, really.

I think I'll have to look at all this like a disease - a strange form of allergy that triggers something inside us that makes us consume copious amounts of a dangerous substance.

Welcome to SR renegade :)

D

Actually, you are exactly right, it is similar to an allergy. The book I mentioned explains the science behind why some people can drink "normally" and within reason and why some others cannot. There is scientific evidence that our bodies are different- specifically our livers and our brains. We process alcohol differently than other and thus it IS a disease.

Hi gents,

It's been almost 3 years since I stopped posting... and resume drinking...

It's been too much and it's taken its toll. I had my blood checked and the Triglyceride levels are through the roof and I feel like sh*t.

This is my day 4 clean, this time I feel like my body can't take it anymore. I'm feeling sharp pain on my liver and I feel I'm on the edge of something awful happening to me like a stroke or something.

This is it.

hey renegade welcome

may the force be with you:You_Rock_