KAD

I wish I could suffocate anxiety, but that's not what the title of this thread means. I have plenty to be anxious about, as anyone who has followed my other threads would understand. The condensed version is: I lost my job, totaled my car, got my first DWI, and ended up in the hospital with a fractured vertebrae in my neck all in one fell swoop. Worst of all, I have lost all communication with my children.

I've gotten a couple of nibbles on my job search, but I still don't have a car and am waiting to even look for one until I know whether or not I'll even be allowed to drive it after my court date 8/21.

Given all that, I spend a lot of time sweating bullets over how all this could turn out. It's my nature to expect the worst possible outcome, and then attempt to prepare for it. Almost as insane as drinking, I know, but I'm funny that way. Early morning is when the anxiety is the most intense and choking. It feels like the walls are closing in. I get up any hour of the night and go walk around outside. The movement helps to distract, and ground me back to reality.

I don't know what anyone can do to remedy the problem (short of giving me a bunch of money!) but I'm just sharing what's been going on with me the last few days. The panicky feelings seem to come in waves. Sometimes I feel like everything will be OK, and other times I feel like impending doom. The kinda doom I'll never escape. It's the most hopeless, helpless feeling I've ever experienced and I wish it would go away.

The silver lining in the clouds is that I feel no desire to drink over it. The memories of how much worse that made everything are still very fresh in my mind. I don't think I'll ever forget that.

ScottFromWI

I know exactly how you feel GetMeOut. I also suffer from anxiety and it was horrible during the last days of my drinking and continued into my sobriety. It did get better but never went away completely, and I still had some bad days and flare ups even years after quitting. The waves analogy makes sense too.

Have you seen a therapist? It's a very treatable condition through therapy, meds or both. My main tool that helps me daily is mindfulness and some meditation.

Aellyce

You and I have already discussed anxiety a lot in the past, GMO. What Scott said, and once again, I really recommend regular exercise. There are many forms of exercise one can do for free or cheap. These things of course won't erase your current problems, but they can induce dramatic changes in our brains, and that's definitely something that can be experienced as benefit.

Glad you continue to be free of drinking urges

On The Road

Hi GMO - I, too, suffer from anxiety. And dealing with it sober is a whole lot better than drunk. Alcohol just fuels it for me. I recommend therapy (which I fought like h*ll at the beginning - but really helps) AND exercise. Mind and body healing together is making the difference for this blackout-drunk.

KAD

I have started seeing a therapist, but have only seen him a couple times so far. Without at income I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to see him, but so far, what he says is making sense and helps me somewhat.

KAD

Another side issue that's bothering me is, since my wreck, and the neck injury I sustained as a result, there is some weakness and muscle shrinkage in my left arm. Not visibly noticeable, but I notice it. I do exercises to strengthen it, which has helped quite a bit, but it still just doesn't feel normal. I should count my blessings, of course. It could have been much, MUCH worse! My doctor told me to explore all options before considering surgery, as surgery often does nothing to fix the problem, or may make it even worse. I couldn't afford surgery even if that was his first recommendation.

PurpleKnight

Hang in there GetMeOut!!

Sobriety will be a great foundation to build from, it may take time, but things will come good!!

Wil

Heck yeah be thankful you can still lift your arm.

Needtobreathe

Some of us are wired and conditioned by life to be more anxious. In some ways, and this is me, I see it as its own form of "trying to work through." Only its not working anymore and it reinforces a truckload of negative self-talk. So, for me? The "silly" stuff. Positive affirmations that I have on my bathroom mirror. A list of my strengths, too, that I can access when I feel like crap.

I can coast for a bit and get into that crippling place, wherein I've used alcohol countless numbers of time to cope (and boy howdy does it make it 10x worse). This is my DAY TWO.

Hoping that today is your day!

Soberwolf

Its good your seeing a therapist sorry about your arm and neck

have you tried meditation, belly breathing exercises or binaural beats

There is some books ive ordered recently on anxiety depression and mindfulness

theres a great book sticky at the top of newcomers or ask a mod like i did for specific areas like anxiety

my therapist is phoning me in 35 mins its going to be my 3rd apt or a extension of my 2nd apt wont know till she phones

best of luck get me out

Aellyce

I second soberwolf. In particular, on the binaural beats... saying this because I know you love music. I have been using audios with binaural beats for meditation and relaxation for over 10 years now. The science of it is fuzzy, but whatever it is, I tend to love them so I have a huge collection of such tunes. A lot of what I use is from Brain Sync (unfortunately not free):
Brain Sync | The Leader in Brainwave Technology

These days there is also a lot of free stuff available online.

czorr

I'm assuming these events are some what recent? I also suffer from anxiety and remember very well the over whelming feelings of fear and were to go next from the troubles caused for my self while drinking, quite frankly I blame all of my bad decisions were due to drinking simply just not being clear headed. I can promise things will get better, new avenues will come about to act on for better days ahead! excersise is a must never doing much before, I have learned to run this past year by far a better stress reliever then beers during the day from my past life.

Hang in there, things will turn up for you personally and family. personally going through my front windshield literally, resulting in a hefty DWI along getting something on my record that will follow me for the rest of my life hurting good job opurtuinties..wouldn't say I'd do it again but things are good today and with each day of sobriety the strength it gives is a blessed feeling. Take care