soberforbaby

went 3 months exactly. My mother died and I screwed up. Back on he Vodka. I get up at 5AM and have a 4-5oz drink just to take away the crazy anxiety and feeling like I cant make it otherwise. It is weird. That the next detox seems like it will be way worse than the last time. As usual, thought I could have few drinks with friends and am now drunk all day every day for the last month.

I wonder if there are sponsors on this board that I can chat with?

I am an atheist and AA has always been a huge turn off because of the religions stuff.

Soberwolf

Soberfortoday i suggest getting a plan of recovery make a day 1 and start from there

there is sticky threads at the top of newcomers with advice on getting a plan

join a current august class in newcomers

join the 24 hour thread

Read threads on SR then read some more then read some more

Go to SR's secular sections and ask about a online sponser ?

Accept you cant drink safely or responsibly start thinking of ways and things that will help keep you sober

think about journalling reaching out anytime cravings strike

You can do this and it can only be for you youl find support by the bucketload on your journey

I wanted to be sober i done anything to get and stay sober

Spk soon bud

soberforbaby

I've been really mean to my wife also. Made her fess up about her x boyfriends before we were married. I guess this is not uncommon for a drunk. She doesn't know I'm drunk because she is very naive. All I know is I've been mean to her and am not someone who deserves her. I am so angry about her x's that I want to leave her. At the same time I know it is just my pathetic drunk state that brings this on. Wonder if anyone else has felt the same thing.

ScottFromWI

I think a lot of us have felt pretty low due to the things we've done when drinking. Are you planning on a supervised detox? If you are having the physical symptoms you suggest it would definitely be recommended to see a doctor before you quit.

soberforbaby

Let me say. Mean to my wife was just pillow talking. I hurt her feelings. I will see my MD before I quit just in case I have some major issue. All I know is right now I wake up and am a shaky mess feeling like I have a hole in my stomach. Boo hoo right? another drunk. I just hope this time I do it right. I just finished 3 months sober and wasn't happy but did it anyway.

I read something about helping others. I think that might be a better approach.

ScottFromWI

Don't hope...just DO it right ;-) Helping others is definitely a great thing to do, either here on SR or at meeting based recovery. Once you get some sober time under your belt volunteering in general is a great way to learn about gratitude and help with self esteem in general.

blueberry2015

Im so sorry for the loss of your mother x I too was a bit reluctant about AA because of the religious stuff, but that only takes up a small percentage of the meetings you can take the religious stuff or leave it. I have faith but in a different way and most people in AA will say they too were put off by the God thing. AA has been fantastic to me just been to my third meeting, it is really helping me. If you go, go with a completely open mind I have learned so much about my own alcholism just by listening to others stories and how these people have stayed sober. My advice is never say never. If it works for you then fab if it doesnt then you dont need to go again. I guess im encouraging you to give it a try x x x x blessings to you xx x x

Anna

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.

It sounds like you weren't happy when you were sober for 3 months. Did you make any changes in your life besides stopping drinking? Recovery usually involves some big changes with activities, people, etc. It might be something you could think about this time. You can do this!

SoberLife90

AA is not religious give it a try. The whole point of the "god","higher power" is so you get out of yourself. "Any life ran on self will can hardly be a success".

My higher power for AA is all the good things in life i try to follow. Honesty, love, tolerance, unselfishness, purity, openmindedness, willingness. Remember keep it simple. If you try to let these spiritual principles guide you in life maybe you can stay sober.

Again there is no religion in AA. AA is a group of people who have the same problems as youself who have done the same things as you who try to help other people achieve sobriety. Goodluck.

PurpleKnight

Hoping, wishing or willing Sobriety to happen never worked for me, instead I needed to take action, be proactive, get some support into my day, surrounding myself with resources, changing up my routines and making better decisions.

AA isn't my thing either, but that's not an excuse to try nothing, SR is a great 24/7 resource of support, and there are many other secular options.

You can do this, but making a plan will improve your chance of success!!