Don't know what to do!
 

Ok I went on another binge last week and lost my new job. My bf said that was it get help or thats it. I went to detox and they set up for me to go into a rehab. It's a 90 day rehab and I have heard very bad bad things about the way they treat their patients. The other rehabs are a month wait. My thing is my bf and bff are really pushing me to go there. I have finally found someone to actually go to aa meetings with but because of all the lies and times before I said I would go to meeting and never actually went but bought beer they now are rightfully very skeptical. I know if I don't go im gonna disappoint them if I don't go for a long while until I prove im serious this time. I hurt way too many people and don't want to do it anymore. 90 days at a place that might break me im scared of. They don't understand because they know people who have family that suceeded there. I am just not sure what to do. I am so confused.

Where did you hear this?

I'm not sure what kind of mistreatment you fear. Maybe all you really fear is sobriety.

I doubt a rehab will treat you worse than you're treating yourself.

Get in there and get healthy.

This could be the day you look back on with Gratitude as the day you began saving your life.

Or... it could be the day you look back on with despairing regret and wish you'd gone to rehab.....

Choice is yours.

You heard bad things but also that people had success there. I would consider the source of the "bad things". Is the person who said that sober today?

Going to treatment was the best thing I ever did for myself. It wasn't easy, but so worth it. I had to get to the point where I didn't have all the answers anymore.

Just go. You can have a better life than this.

It seems to me that it's really not all that confusing - it can certainly be scary, but there's a very clear solution to your problems.

Action on your part is the solution. Either by going to AA and making a concerted effort to make it work, or going into rehab - or both. Why not give the rehab a call yourself or visit it to see what it is like? If that one is not an option for whatever reason and you cannot get into another for 30 days, do you honestly think you can stop drinking during that time with the help of AA? Maybe you can - and AA is free so you could find out today.

No matter what program or rehab you choose, be aware that all of them will require you to do things that you don't want to do. They call it "rehab" because it's designed to change the way you live your life, and your addiction isn't going to like that one bit. But the new way of life is far better than the old...so it's definitely worth it.

I went to rehab and I'm so glad that I did. I was not mistreated at all. All of the staff, doctors, nurses, therapists were very kind, caring, considerate and gave me all the help I needed.

I realized that I couldn't do it on my own. I would really recommend that you go and get healthy, It's not easy, but it's so worth it.

I heard from a couple of people. One lady yes is still drinking the other an actual professional in the field. The ones that had success yes they did. Maybe I expressed myself wrong when I say mistreat I mean as in they will yell at people and demean them. I have no problem being pushed to confront my issues but im the type of person who im not sure if I could handle it right now. I have spent last 2 days literally crying. I know I want to be sober and I have a plan now but I think im gonna go to rehab because if I don't I would let everyone down and maybe myself if I start drinking again. Just not sure I can handle 90 days away from my home.

Worth reading twice. :c011:

The life you're currently leading doesn't sound like much fun. Hope you'll give that rehab a chance, judge it for yourself instead of listening to others. You're in my thoughts and prayers today, chloebaby.

Rehab is not jail...unless it is court ordered of course ( which i'm assuming yours isn't? ). The duration of your stay is a suggestion based on an intake interview, but assuming you are an adult you are free to leave rehab at any time. I would suggest you schedule the interview and meet some of the people there. Tell them about your concerns - most likely many of them can be answered right then and there.

Also look at the flip side...can you handle another 90 days at home if you keep drinking? Can your family and BF handle it?

Both my sisters completed 6 months rehabs it changed thier lives and now thier both doing great directly because of rehab you have some great wise advice in this thread and now i add my direct experiences as to how great rehabs are

Its your life and your choice

You need to do something Chloe, what's the worst that can happen that already hasn't happened?

Alcohol is doing you no favours, it's causing you misery from your post, Rehab might be the solution to get the ball rolling for long term lasting Sobriety!!

You can do this!! :)

Thank you everyone. I know I at least need to try it. I think im just gonna have a very hard time leaving my bf and kids. Even though it will disappoint them if I didn't. Plus this might sound dumb but after I got home from detox I felt like a stranger in my own home and I was only gone 4 days! Maybe cuz its where I spent most of my time drinking I don't know :-(

I would feel better if I could at least talk to them daily but I won't be able to do that.

Hi Chloebaby,

Having to leave your boyfriend and kids must be a very scary thing, especially without being able to talk with them. I think most rehabs have these policies to allow patients to focus on themselves with greater intensity. Maybe viewing it that way might help - the time you spend apart now will be reinvested in the future. Becoming sober allows us to give so much more time and attention to our loved ones.

I'm sure the idea of leaving home and going to rehab is a scary one for lots of reasons. It's totally fine to feel cautious, curious, afraid. The trouble is in not letting our feelings trap us in inaction. I encourage you to try it and wish you all the best.

There are many people who have partners, spouses and children that go to rehab.

Every rehab has different rules for phone calls. While I was in medical detox, I couldn't use the phone at all. After I finished with detox, I was allowed to use the phone, with my therapist present, once a week for 15 minutes. The reason for that was so the calls would be productive and encouraging, and if they turned negative, he was the mediator.

After I was there for 20 days, I was allowed to use my cellphone twice a week for one hour. I gave the rehab permission to tell my mother and husband everything that was going on with me whenever they called. My mother called twice a day and my husband once a day.

I understand how you're feeling about it. I felt as though I was leaving everyone behind. I was scared. I didn't know what to expect...the fear of the unknown.

Please don't let this deter you from getting help. Use this opportunity to get well. Everyone who loves and cares for you will be waiting for you with open arms when you get out. You will be so glad you did this.

More than likely.
When I got sober I felt like a stranger in the world! It was ALL new.
Took time to learn what normal life was and how to live it.

That would only be temporary feeling better. Do you want to only temporary feel better or make this something that will last the rest of your life?
I hope for the rest of your life. That will require you focusing on you and fixing you. Best done with no outside interference.
Ya have to make sacrifices.
Get some courage to face the fears and do the right thing in spite of fear.

I hear someone who is leaving themselves alot of wiggle room. You mentioned you lost your job, you are going to lose your boyfriend, not sure about the future with the children. I would embrace the opportunity to spend 3 months healing from your disease. Just my opinion.

Wishing you all the best in working out whats best for you Chloe :)

I can only repeat what others have said - do something...you can turn this around, but the longer you leave it, the harder it will get.

D