Recovery...
Needing to drink rather than wanting to drink. That threshold crept up on me very silently and quickly, but it all culminated in a pretty epic 2 week binge over the holidays. In the aftermath I missed a very important work meeting because I was at the point that I didn't have hangovers anymore, I went straight into withdrawals right away if I didn't drink. I had simply had enough.
I ended up in the emergency room after having a horrible panic attack that I think I've been building for months, if not years. I thought something was seriously wrong with my body or brain, and was very scared. It took another ER visit to realize that I was suffering from anxiety, and that the alcohol it's so messed up my neurochemistry but I was in pretty bad shape emotionally. That should me to the core and I decided to stop drinking once and for all.
I ended up in the emergency room after having a horrible panic attack that I think I've been building for months, if not years. I thought something was seriously wrong with my body or brain, and was very scared. It took another ER visit to realize that I was suffering from anxiety, and that the alcohol it's so messed up my neurochemistry but I was in pretty bad shape emotionally. That should me to the core and I decided to stop drinking once and for all.
I had lots of bad experiences but it was moving in with my partner after a year of long distance that really pushed me forward. I realized I could either be a good boyfriend or continue to drink - but I couldn't do both.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I went through a spell where I knew if I didn't get a grip, that drinking would be my life. It would be something I do like taking a shower or brushing my teeth. Every day and a necessity. I also recognized that I was in my mid 40's and there was no way I could go on another 25-30 years living that kind of life. I wouldn't make it that long and it would be extremely unpleasant.
Welcome to you, Enough.
I'd been drinking 30 yrs. I was damaged and reckless - completely dependent on it. As others have said, it was get sober or die. I had the 'impending doom' feeling when I laid down at night to try and sleep. I no longer had any control over what might happen while it was in my system. I wanted to be part of life again - rather than just going through the motions as a numb & foggy observer.
I'd been drinking 30 yrs. I was damaged and reckless - completely dependent on it. As others have said, it was get sober or die. I had the 'impending doom' feeling when I laid down at night to try and sleep. I no longer had any control over what might happen while it was in my system. I wanted to be part of life again - rather than just going through the motions as a numb & foggy observer.
Welcome EnoughIsEnough1!
My first time when I was 26 yrs old, it was because I was the worst drunk in room full of drunks. Knew something needed to give.
6 yrs sober then 22 yr relapse and this time around my driving force for sobriety is that I slowly became aware that I wasn't just hurting my body, my spirit was being crushed on a daily basis. I wasn't living a life true to myself and that alone was becoming more unbearable everyday. So when circumstances came to be that sobriety was being presented to me I felt like this might be my last chance.
Also, I didn't want to die a drunk.
My first time when I was 26 yrs old, it was because I was the worst drunk in room full of drunks. Knew something needed to give.
6 yrs sober then 22 yr relapse and this time around my driving force for sobriety is that I slowly became aware that I wasn't just hurting my body, my spirit was being crushed on a daily basis. I wasn't living a life true to myself and that alone was becoming more unbearable everyday. So when circumstances came to be that sobriety was being presented to me I felt like this might be my last chance.
Also, I didn't want to die a drunk.
My drinking started to scared me, I put myself in a very very vulnerable and potentially dangerous situation which Id never dream of doing whilst sober. I was lucky I was safe on that occasion I cant take a risk of there ever being a next time. That was my wake up call. I cant trust my drunken self so enough was enough.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Missoula, Montana
Posts: 164
I don't have much sobriety under my belt. My decision came when I realized I wasn't me. I had allowed someone to bully me and instead of being bold? I folded. I didn't want to die feeling the way I did. That was not the life I had been meant for and it was time to stand up for me ... And so my kids could see I was strong enough to protect me, and in turn protect them.
My breaking point was having an accident with a brick wall. Not that I haven't done stupid, dangerous things in the past before that have had serious consequences, and still continued to drink. This time I've decided enough is enough - like you!
After a week long binge I literally could not drink another sip and immediately went into withdrawels. Four days of WD's, and although I've been to rehab twice, the ER multiple times, WD on my own too many times to count, this last WD was "it". I realized enough is enough. I don't want to be so weak I barely make it to the bathroom, I want to be able to sleep at night, I don't want to wake up with mysterious bruises or cuts anymore. I can go on and on. Everyday I read over my reminders of how awful it feels to drink so that is stays fresh in my mind.
Angel
Angel
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