Alynn

I once again decided that I could handle a drink last week. It's been downhill since then.. Now I'm bawling my eyes out wondering how I got here again. Feeling so alone and trapped and like a idiot. I almost had 6 months in.

mystified

Welcome back alynn.

Perhaps your plan needs a tweak?

Hugs and love.

Gilmer

I'm sorry, Alynn.

biminiblue

I know you want all the fruits that sober life brings. I'm glad you're back. I know you can do this.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Alynn. I think the answer to your question of "wondering how you got here again" is right in your first sentence...you decided it would be OK to drink again. Not singling you out for that as we've all done it, multiple times. What I am saying is that for me ( and many others ) true recovery cannot begin until we accept that drinking is NEVER an option - not even one drink. Because one drink will always lead to more, and we end up back in the very same place every time.

What were you doing during those 6 months sober for a plan? That's a pretty substantial amount of sober time...so you know you can do it. Perhaps adding to your plan or coming up with a new one is in order? How can we help?

Alynn

Thank you guys. My plan has not been solid. I'm devastated.. I do not deserve another chance....

2ndhandrose

(((Alynn))) You absolutely deserve another chance. You are worthy of sobriety, just as each and everyone of us are.

Please don't give up on yourself!

Lance40

(((hugs)))

I know you feel awful right now, but you deserve another chance and we are here for you. You may not feel like you deserve another chance, but I know that you do. Sobriety is for you.

FeelingGreat

Whether you decide to try again is up to you; no-one's sitting above you deciding what you do and don't deserve. If you want it, go and get it.

ScottFromWI

Whether you deserve it or not ( and you do ) you HAVE another chance. Some people do not...why not take advantage of the fact that you do? Nearly all of us has been there before, and the day after is generally one where we "beat ourselves up"....but that's not what you need to be doing. Use that energy to find out where your plain went off track and fix it.

DoubleFelix

Hi, Alynn. I'm sorry you're feeling so down - so many of us have been were you're at and it is a very difficult place to be.

What kind of plan did you have, and how do you think you could add or change it? 6 months is a tremendous achievement, by the way. You can reach that again, and surpass it. We're here for you.

Force

You still have that time! More sober days then drink days!

Soberjoy1

So sorry you are suffering. You absolutely deserve another chance. 6 months is nothing to sneeze at!

Tracy999

Exactly! Start over right now. You had 6 months...you still have 6 months. You lost a week and got the answer to your question...no you cannot drink. Now you will just need to remember that answer the next time the question pops into your head again.

NestWasEmpty

Alynn, You don't deserve to Suffer either - No one does ! We all fall down in life , we can't stay down it's just not in our Nature . Everyone likes to be Happy . Don't stay in that Sad place , Get up & Fight .
Your not alone as many will tell you - I had 8 months once . Tried just weekends But hey look at it as a learning experiment - Now you know you can't have any ..

Bailey3

Don't give up. Stand up, dust yourself off and, start again. You do deserve sobriety and, the life you want.

least

Make this your last day one.

BringingBackB

Alynn,

Lots of hugs to you.
Get yourself back up and go again. You got this. Try not to beat yourself up about it as it's done now. I'm really glad you came and posted.

Crossfitdad

My thoughts:

6 months is a tremendous success. Think of the healing your body has experienced over the past 6 months. You've kicked the physical addiction and one day of drinking isn't going to bring that back. You may have some emotional attachment to it, but kicking it again isn't going to be a huge undertaking - I would imagine nowhere near what it was like the first time you quit. I couldn't imagine you having any withdrawal symptoms other than a hangover depending on how much you drank.

I'd say you are winning and there is no reason to be upset. The goal is not to drink right? So what, you drank one time in 6 months, big deal. If you kept that kind of tract record up for the rest of your life you'd still be incredibly successful!! Say you live another 50 years (I don't know how old you are), but that's 100 days of drinking out of 912,500 days. That sure beats getting drunk every single day of your life for the next 50 years. Don't miss the forest for the trees. AA likes to make it a competition of who has the most consecutive days. I think that creates a dichotomy of success and failure, but in reality there is a lot room between the two.

mecanix

I think for me that was the hardest lesson to learn . I bored myself silly with the repetition and drinking life i was living . Listening to the bit of my brain that lies to me .

Next time, maybe come post on SR or read a bit about how other people fare when they decide to give it a try before you do ?

compared to a glorious sober life left to live in front of you it's a few reds on the calendar , not great but not a reason to give up on the glorious sober life you deserve .

Keep on

m