Alynn

Thank you all for kind words. I'm in full blown panic over here. Unbelievable. Can't calm down. It feels harder to climb out this time. If I would have read this thread just last week I wouldn't believe it.. I was so strong.

Alynn

I have a sponsor but never really got involved in AA. I should call her. So embarrassed though.

Gilmer

She won't be embarrassed--that's what she's there for. Go ahead and call.

ScottFromWI

Just call. You need help and she can help you.

Soberwolf

I agree Alynn ringing your sponser will really help you have us with you stick close to SR

Alynn

I can't bring myself to call her. I know she saw it coming. I hate meetings and never got involved. I'm not good at taking in front of people so I didn't stay involved.

Alynn

Please tell me I will get pat this

ScottFromWI

You can and will get past this if you take the action and necessary steps.

Not calling your sponsor because you are embarrassed is not a very good start though. Saying that you "can't" is not going to help either.

I'm sure you are feeling very low today and that is normal in the stage you are at -but you have to put those feelings aside and seek help.

Inchworm

Hope you called your sponsor, Alynn. Thanks for posting and reminding me how awful I feel when I give in to my AV, too.

Fly N Buy

How was your plan faulty and what would you change?

Better an embarrassed phone call that might help than the alternative.

How would she have seen it coming? Has she made suggestions in the past that you decided not to adhere to?

We don't have to be a "ring leader" in AA. I have seen many people come out of their shells over time. Listen at first then start to smile at others and talk a little. You are in a room full of people like us

If you hating meetings, maybe try another route to sobriety. I know at time I will do key word search on SR - for example - relapse, and find many different threads and posts on what I'm looking for.


I think sometimes many friends here only want a "live" response. There is a HUGE archive available on SR of questions that have been asked and people in our exact situation. This may be the true gem of SR........

Glad you posted today.
I wish friends would post before they pick up!!!

Alynn

Feeling better... I'm so sorry guys. I woke up in a funk. Really disappointed in myself. SR. Is amazing. It's almost been a year since I joined and its nice to have someone to talk to that understands.

thomas11

Alynn, those kinds of statements break my heart. You deserve more than just another chance, you deserve a life, and a good one at that. You relapsed, it happens. The fight is not "over", you are still in it. And that's ok. For lack of a better term, listen to what the old timers on this site have to say. They have seen and heard it ALL. I wish you the very best.

Hevyn

Hi Alynn. I'm sorry you're hurting. You most likely have learned a lot through this.

I had 3 yrs. sober once. I decided I could have a glass of wine. Off I went for 7 yrs. I found SR when I was drinking all day, every day - and I now have over 7 yrs. sober. So - YES of course you can, and will, get past this.

Dee74

I'm glad you're feeling a little better Alynn. This can be one of those teachable moments, if you let it be?

Look at what happened and why and then retool your plan - or raze it to the ground if you need to.

I genuinely believe you can get and remain sober - I have faith in you

D