Rio97

I know this topic has been discussed, relating to withdrawals and/or PAWS. I'm 8 days sober. I've been trying to do everything under the sun - exercise, meetings, SR, meditation, sugar, etc. - to take my mind off drinking. And while it helps, the obsession always comes back.

And it occurred to me, there's nothing I can do but ride it out. Because my brain chemistry is so out of whack from years of drinking. I don't know whether the be glad or stressed out about this. Who knows how long it will take to readjust.

I've read about and even experienced withdrawals before. But somehow that still doesn't prepare you for the mental scatter of early sobriety. I just needed to vent...

Dee74

Hi Rio,
try and put this in context - we drank for years - it's gonna take a little time for everything to heal and get back to where it should be.

Things will get better and you will feel normal again - I promise

D

Saskia

Rio, what Dee said is right on the money. Sometimes the best we can do is to "ride the wave" of whatever we are facing at the moment. It will get better and is so worth it!

MelindaFlowers

Hey Rio,

I had some serious PAWS for the better part of a year. In fact, at 13 months of sobriety I've just in the past few weeks felt completely, totally, like I did before I ever drank. I feel healed you could say.

Early on I had difficulty concentrating, bouts of depression, and honestly felt hungover for the first hour upon waking on and off throughout the year. My short-term memory was shot. I was taking coursework and I would literally read a page and not remember a thing. I had difficulty spelling and would leave out words when I type.

But you know what was nice? Even on PAWS days when I felt like a slug I felt about 400% better than I ever did with a hangover. And since I had a hangover every day when I was drinking, it was an immediate difference.

So when you get frustrated with the PAWS just remember: At least you're not hungover. Do you remember the shakes? Brain fog? Pounding chest? Headaches? I sure do.

I was very concerned about my brain and the damage I had done from 10 years of daily, heavy drinking. I was genuinely concerned that I had wet brain for about a month. Then, when I figured I didn't have wet brain I thought I must have had some cognitive impairment. I was worried it would never come back to normal but it did.

I think you'll be just fine.

Soberwolf

I agree with D it will get better

Congrats on day 8

Nonsensical

It took me 84 days. Your mileage may vary.

tomsteve

Welp, how good did stressing over things you had no control over work for ya?
IMO you should be glad. Youre going to meetings.Excellent!!!
By workin the program, one of the sets of promises came true for me:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

The mental obsession was removed! No longer fighting it. No longer a thought. That too T.I.M.E. but it happened and much, much more.

How long will it take for you?
Hard saying, but IMO if you put as much energy into your recovery as ya put into getting that next drink will help.

Keep on trudgin!

Rio97

Thanks for all the replies.

Melinda, yes I've been concerned about damage to my brain from drinking for a short while now, especially with the hangovers. I don't know why it just occurred to me that the years of abuse jolted my brain outta whack. Brain fog maybe? The desire to fix everything yesterday maybe. I guess I need to learn some patience.

It would be nice if we could explain this to those around us who don't understand. "Sorry sir/mam, but I want to bite your head off right now for no particular reason whatsoever. Don't take it personally." 😉

NestWasEmpty

I'm just now learning since I came hear, about PAW's . For a better part of the first year Sober - I thought I was losing my mind ! People would say Maybe it's that woman thing Why am I jumping down peoples throats . Yikes try to watch a movie & couldn't remember half of it . Couldn't concentrate on anything for long .
It does fad with time , but it is better than going through what MelindaFlowers said !!