Acceptance??
 

I'm not new to AA been in the rooms for about 7 months, yet activly still drinking. One of my friends told me I am a "maintenance" drinker. I drink daily, 4 or 5 pints of beer a night more on the weekends. I know I NEED to stop, this is killing me. I'm scared. When I go to meetings I want what the others have, peace, serenity, joy, and a real life. How do I do this? I know I am an alcoholic, I look at myself in the mirror and hate who I am. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.

The answer to your question is laid out clearly in How it Works:

"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then are you ready to take certain steps."

Get a sponsor and work the steps.

Meetings are a great. I go regularly and enjoy them. But the program of AA is the 12 steps.

Until you actually stop drinking, you have no chance at finding that peace, serenity, joy, and a real life.

The alcohol has you, and will continue to keep you down. Until you get the first step, all the rest will be forever elusive.



Welcome to the forums. Are you ready to give it up?

Hiya nicnac , Glad you found SR You should find a lot of helpful answers in Treads and posts . Of course many helpful people too :) Good luck on your path to get sober !

you have to want to stay stopped more than you want to drink

gotta stop drinking and work that for a week or so, but get a sponsor and begin those steps, in fact, get through those steps, but they work when you are done drinking......

keep trying

I'm scared of withdrawals, and the void of feeling numb. How stupidly crazy is that? How long have y'all experienced withdrawals? How long did you have to white knuckle it? I know it varies with each person, and drinking history. I've drank daily for about the last 18 months, it started with just 2 or 3 pints of beer but of course has progressed.

Fear of sobriety isn't crazy. It's irrational, but that doesn't make it crazy. It is a hallmark of addiction. The addiction makes you feel like you can't live happily without it. Your rational brain tells you that's crazy, but it's still how you feel. I know. I was loaded with fear of sobriety when I first joined here.

What I know now that I didn't know then is that I was a slave. I was not free when all I thought about was when I could drink again. I didn't know I was a slave until I was free. Strange but true.

I no longer fear sobriety. I would have never achieved that if I had continued to drink. Freedom is exhilarating. I highly recommend it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey! :ring

Hi, Nicnac,

Glad to see you found SR. This place is remarkable.

When I look back at how I entered sobriety, the mental tool that helped me the most was starting from a place in which I said to myself "it's over."

No more drinking, period. As I read your posts, it struck me that we have to approach sobriety as a definitive moment in our lives. That lead me to looking up the definition of "definitive" -- a little redundant, in some ways, but distinctively so. Here's what I found among the descriptions:

Definitive, adjective:
having its fixed and final form; providing a solution or final answer; satisfying all criteria:
the definitive treatment for an infection; a definitive answer to a dilemma.

That sums it up nicely. Make a definitive choice.

From there, plenty of tools are at your disposal, including SR and AA.

Welcome Nicnac youl find tons of support here nice to meet you

If the prospect of withdrawal is truly scaring you then please see your doctor. Then you will at least know you are withdrawing safely. It will still suck but every moment you spend in withdrawal gets you closer to true freedom from alcohol.

The rest is about getting a sponsor and working the steps. You have to commit to change.

If you really want this make an appointment with your Dr you won't have to white knuckle it if your upfront with him/her . Or even a rehab will you won't be alone in doing this . There's help out there you just have to go get it !!
As for how much your drinking daily and think you can't stop or handle it . I was up to 15 plus beers & a quart of rum a Day :( From 6 am -till I would pass out .
If I did it you can :)

Welcome to the Forum Nicnac!! :wave:

Get a sponsor - do what they suggest - read the book and follow the steps.
This may help



Keep coming back.......

This is brilliant: What I know now that I didn't know then is that I was a slave. I was not free when all I thought about was when I could drink again. I didn't know I was a slave until I was free. Strange but true.

One Day At A Time is the oft heard advice. Just don't drink TODAY. you may not have such bad withdrawals as you FEAR......however do not hesitate to seek medical help. there is no shame in that. safety first. other AA members can't KEEP you from drinking, but could certainly help with accountability.

Hi and welcome NicNac - some great advice here :)

I was an all day everyday drinker.I was convinced my life would be over once I got sober...but I was wrong :)

My life began again once I quit. I rediscovered the real me, and I rebuilt my life to better suit the real me.

It wasn't easy in the beginning, but neither was my drinking life.
I persevered, with help from here and other places.

8 years on and life is great.

I hope you'll give it a try :)

D

Thank you everyone for your advise. I'm not so scared for the withdrawal symptoms I guess scared I won't make it through them and I'll cave and drink. But after saying that I'm planning ahead into the future and not taking it one day at a time.
I won't drink today, I have 2 meetings I can go to and I have phone numbers of ladies I can call. I'll keep an ice tea in my hands at all times today. I find that I let myself get really thirsty and then just grab a beer, quick, cold relief. I've not drank a glass of water in at least 4 days it's been coffee or beer. My poor body I'm destroying it.

If you can " just grab a beer", then it reads like alcohol is in your house. Get rid of it. Don't allow it in your house.

I don't know what a maintenance drinker is, but it reads like drinking like an alcoholic and for the same reason many others drink- underlying issues:
I look at myself in the mirror and hate who I am.
I hadn't looked in the mirror at myself for a very long time until I got sober. I (thought I) was a worthless,useless,helpless,hopeless POS.
Going to meetings, getting a big book, reading it over and over, doing what the big book and others at meetings suggested, and doing it one day at a time, I have received all of the promises the program has to offer, not just the ninth step promises heard at meetings.
it was a serious fight not to drink early on. Well worth every second of fight.
Which I no longer fight alcohol. The problem has been removed. It no longer exists.
ODAAT.
Pray like crazy
Go to meetings
Don't drink in between

"How do I do this? "
You have two meetings you can attend? Attend em both. Get a big book. Read it.read it more than one. The first 164 pages are the program. Personal stories afterwards.Get more numbers. Call em. Just to say hi even.
Pray for A sponsor to be put in your path( don't know what a sponsor is? There's a pamphlet titled "questions and answers about sponsorship." look it up on the www and look for it at a meeting). Then listen at meetings for your sponsor.
You are not alone any more if you chose not to be. your also going to have to open up and share at the meetings. I would strongly encourage you that if a meeting is a topic meeting, to suggest the first step or what it was like, what happened and what it like now.
It's been a. Wild journey through sobriety for me. Life on life's terms has been pretty cool!
I'm living and no longer existing!!,

Hi nicnac, welcome to SR. Sounds like a good plan to go to the meetings and keep an iced tea in hand. I had to keep something with me to drink that wasn't alcohol. Do make sure to drink some water too.

One day at a time. You can do one day.

Welcome Nicnac!
Life can be better beyond what you can imagine!