People, places & things
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by thomas11 
I'm slowly trying to make my home a place where NOT drinking is the natural thought. It was my sanctuary for my drinking for quite a while, I would like it to be my sanctuary....period.
Something like rearranging the furniture or kitchen cabinets can help. I always associated the cabinet over the sink with a bottle, but now it's bulk storage and I never open it! I've learned to want NOT to drink before dinner to enjoy the process of cooking & conversation over dinner.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Three thoughts:
1. That Melinda Flowers is one sharp observer of life. For the umpteenth time. And her experiences sound sooooo much like my own. One or two were the pits, really the pits.
2. Thomas11's point about making my home a sanctuary rang so true. I fell in love with my place the moment the realtor brought me here, 12 years ago this October. Yet, with wine bottles (then boxes) stacked around my kitchen, it had come to signify everything about myself that I loathed. Now I love my home again. Knowing that I have spent TONS less in the last two years, I recently ordered new living room furniture. I tell others that the existing couch and chair were getting old (true) but it is also a way of celebrating my sobriety in a place that I love.
3. Interesting how so many here have mentioned the outdoors. Good God. The beauty of nature is even deeper and more meaningful when not experienced with a pounding head, a sense of smell that gave way to nausea and eyes wide open.
Good thread, Courage. Thanks for starting it -- lots of food for thought here.
1. That Melinda Flowers is one sharp observer of life. For the umpteenth time. And her experiences sound sooooo much like my own. One or two were the pits, really the pits.
2. Thomas11's point about making my home a sanctuary rang so true. I fell in love with my place the moment the realtor brought me here, 12 years ago this October. Yet, with wine bottles (then boxes) stacked around my kitchen, it had come to signify everything about myself that I loathed. Now I love my home again. Knowing that I have spent TONS less in the last two years, I recently ordered new living room furniture. I tell others that the existing couch and chair were getting old (true) but it is also a way of celebrating my sobriety in a place that I love.
3. Interesting how so many here have mentioned the outdoors. Good God. The beauty of nature is even deeper and more meaningful when not experienced with a pounding head, a sense of smell that gave way to nausea and eyes wide open.
Good thread, Courage. Thanks for starting it -- lots of food for thought here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
In my drinking days there was never a place I didn't want to drink, a person I wouldn't drink with, or a thing or event that wouldn't go well with drinking.
Now, in sobriety I would say that I couldn't imagine drinking:
1) while fishing
2) while enjoying nature
3) performing music
4) visiting with relatives
5) before I had to drive somewhere
6) as soon as I got home from work and had time to play with my kids
7) as a regular part of my life
Now, in sobriety I would say that I couldn't imagine drinking:
1) while fishing
2) while enjoying nature
3) performing music
4) visiting with relatives
5) before I had to drive somewhere
6) as soon as I got home from work and had time to play with my kids
7) as a regular part of my life
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Interesting thread, thanks courage.
I was like Melinda, at my worst and during the last few years of my career I mostly drank alone at home. I also isolated a lot not doing much outside, so for me most outside activities that I enjoy now are not associated with drinking. I don't feel like drinking when I'm walking around in the city, am in a museum, reading a book on a nice day in the park, having a good conversation IRL, working outside of my home, also being around good people in general tends to be safe for me. What happened most typically when I was drinking heavily was that I avoided these, and in general, avoided outside life as much as I could and ran home to drink alone and hang on the computer as soon as it was possible. Well there was one exception in terms of people, my alcoholic ex and everything we did together, but that's been over for years now.
One thing that I became very strongly aware of recently is how much I enjoy working with my students, especially the parts when they seek me out for discussion and advice regarding the larger picture of their career, future, life in general. Sometimes they share their deepest secrets and fears with me, which can be quite moving that they trust me so much. I definitely would not want to be drunk through all this.
I agree with everyone it's such a beautiful experience to get engaged in the world with senses and perceptions wide open, even if it's overwhelming at times.
I was like Melinda, at my worst and during the last few years of my career I mostly drank alone at home. I also isolated a lot not doing much outside, so for me most outside activities that I enjoy now are not associated with drinking. I don't feel like drinking when I'm walking around in the city, am in a museum, reading a book on a nice day in the park, having a good conversation IRL, working outside of my home, also being around good people in general tends to be safe for me. What happened most typically when I was drinking heavily was that I avoided these, and in general, avoided outside life as much as I could and ran home to drink alone and hang on the computer as soon as it was possible. Well there was one exception in terms of people, my alcoholic ex and everything we did together, but that's been over for years now.
One thing that I became very strongly aware of recently is how much I enjoy working with my students, especially the parts when they seek me out for discussion and advice regarding the larger picture of their career, future, life in general. Sometimes they share their deepest secrets and fears with me, which can be quite moving that they trust me so much. I definitely would not want to be drunk through all this.
I agree with everyone it's such a beautiful experience to get engaged in the world with senses and perceptions wide open, even if it's overwhelming at times.
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Common humanity. Please and thank you.
Knowing that the majority of 8 million people in this beautiful, hard city manage somehow to act like humans without being 24/7 drunk -- makes me want to be a part of it.
Knowing that the majority of 8 million people in this beautiful, hard city manage somehow to act like humans without being 24/7 drunk -- makes me want to be a part of it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
"Avoid people, places & things that will make you want to drink" is practically a law of early recovery."
I recently heard a variation on this oft quoted phrase......"if you want to stay sober (or clean) you need to change your play-mates, play-ground and play-things."
I recently heard a variation on this oft quoted phrase......"if you want to stay sober (or clean) you need to change your play-mates, play-ground and play-things."
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by courage2
"Avoid people, places & things that will make you want to drink" is practically a law of early recovery.
But avoidance isn't a strategy for the rest of a life.
What are the people, places and things that make you want NOT to drink?
(I'm sticking close to mine.)
But avoidance isn't a strategy for the rest of a life.
What are the people, places and things that make you want NOT to drink?
(I'm sticking close to mine.)
To answer your question I have developed all sorts of sober activities. Gardening, photography, theater, golf, movies, dining out, the beach, church, AA, camping, travel, walking, the dogs, quality time with my wife, reading, SR, the list goes on and on
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Thanks Courage, I have to give credit to my wife as she is pretty adamant about making changes around the house. Being raised in Peru, she has some (what I would consider) pretty strange beliefs. One of them is that changing things often provides "good energy" to flow freely about the house. Its a good omen or something.
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
Avoidance is a lifetime strategy for me.
I want to encourage people to talk more about living, not (here) just about not drinking.
You answered the question nicely, MIR.
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