ckoures

Good God.

Here is my pledge to me and to you.

I am not going to give in to the biggest trigger (my ex-husband) who has ONCE AGAIN ruined something to "prove a point" that he doesn't care about me. (Which seemingly is to make the point that he cared way too much that I left.)

I refuse to drink tonight. I won't even slow down at the grocery store.

I let this impact my life too long. I lost who I was and became this shell.

I might not make it past tomorrow, but I refuse to NOT make it tonight.

Thanks!

Dee74

I have faith in you ckoures - not only for today but tomorrow too

D

Tooshabby

I have faith in you too - you sound like a strong person :-) I have no time for spitefulness (and regret any moments I have indulged in it), but I have always liked the idea behind the George Herbert quote: "living well is the best revenge". Now is the time for self-compassion and looking after yourself. Better and brighter things!

ckoures

Thank you both. I think I was a pretty strong person, but I really let myself slip. Gonna keep right after it. And I appreciate your help. Have a wonderful weekend.

I'm going to go read.

NestWasEmpty

I'm going with the others posts here . Wow your stronger than him prove it to yourself and show him that he can't get to you anymore ! don't let your guard down now use that strength to push forward and fix that broken shell . Feel whole again . You can do this

Soberwolf

I have faith in your recovery too Ckoures & you always have SR in your corner rootin for you

Enjoy reading spk soon

Yankee73

By not drinking "at" him, you win!!!

Lance40

Thanks for posting. Your resolve is inspiring. Keep up the great work!

ckoures

Made it all night... And I'm going to make it today as well. It is the only way to stop giving my issues control over me. I was still very sad at the loss of the man I love, but that one turns the air static with toxicity and hostility at times. It is better to breath. Thank you for your support and allowing myself to hold myself publicly accountable to you.

trachemys

So much strength there...I'm awe'd

Bailey3

I was sad at the loss of my wife also. This is how I'm starting to look at it and, it helps. "When my ex left me, so did my reason to drink".

ckoures

But while that relationship contributed, I made the choice to run into a bottle and hide. I didn't make him, him but I sure didn't protect me. The desire to drink has sure faded when the husband started becoming the ex, I just wish I'd never let it go where it went. I have a lot of shame and I caused a lot of pain. A set of balls would have helped. But its in the past. I am glad for you and like the saying. Keep moving forward. I guess it is all we can do.

Bailey3

It does take time but, you will get better and stronger.

ckoures

I am counting on it. Thanks

PurpleKnight

You can do this Ckoures!! Keep pushing through!!

FarToGo

Each time we deal with a moment or an issue where would've caved and got drunk in the past, we're getting stronger. Well done you!
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