Angry
 

So we have wine in the house.
I am so angry, sad, depressed, lonely, and angry.
I am double angry because we have wine in the house.
(I wish I could swear here, it would be more like me, but I can't. )
This is so annoying that my husband would go against my wishes and bring wine in the @$#% house.
He's lucky he's not home right now....but he should be....because it's just too tempting to drink and then hide out in bed until morning. He would never #$#@ know.

He just has no idea how hard this is for me.
No %$@# clue!!

I understand being angry - but I think the task for the moment is not letting that anger rule you and drive you to drink.

can you get up and do something to take your mind off the wine?

If not, could you pour the wine away?

D

That is no good at all. Maybe you could insist on some couples counselling so you have support in helping him really get it? He obviously doesn't yet. Whatever you do, don't drink. Keep posting and reading. Stay strong :-)

what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger. I quit with 18 beers in the fridge ya know what if i might need them.... it took about a year or so and i let someone else finally drink them.

I knwo the temptation is hard but hang in there. it wont be the only time there is a temptation. you can get through it.

I could pour them out. I think I will just take them literally OUT of the house and put them in the car. Just so that they are gone. Then he'll get the picture. I don't want to open them and start pouring just in case I get the urge to pour a glass. I don't even like wine anymore. I am not going to drink them, I know that. It just pisses off that they are in the house after everything I've been through.
I can't believe I am so unbelievably angry, almost in tears.
I just made popcorn, a big mug of tea, and I am going to watch a movie the my son. I just need to get to get my mind off the bottles.
Just breath.

Hi Cauliflower, you sound very angry and rightfully so. Is he aware that you are not very happy about this? He's not home....pour it out?

I'm with Dee 74 Pour it out ! My X did that too me , I went in rehab for a month. I came home & there was beer in the fridge . I told him straight out get that out Now or I will pour it down the drain !
I think you need a long talk to with your hubby . I see that you said he went against your wishes . So in my mind you have the right to get ride of it .
Please don't let this get to you . You'll may even feel better with it gone :)

The funny thing, I don't want to upset him off and pour them out...even though he upset me by buying them. He is clueless about this. In my mind, he's spiteful, when in fact he's not. He is just another normie clueless partner.

I think it is awesome that you are feeling the anger and dealing with it in a productive way by taking the alcohol out of your immediate vicinity. It does take telling a normie MANY times why it is not good for alcohol to be around a person in early sobriety. Don't stop telling him and I suggest multiple ways.....a text, an email, verbally, in writing.....that is what I did.

Hello,

If you can afford to, I would dispose of them. The rationale being you ( mostly you ) would drink them anyway, so you are not "wasting money" by disposing of them.

If this would cause a major row with hubby ( i.e. "why are you wasting money we don't have ") then pouring it away may be counter-productive. Even though you know the true cost of starting to drink again way exceeds any number of bottles we are talking about here

If the are screaming at you though, then you need to get them way out of the house. The over-riding priority is to maintain your hard won sobriety.

How about the recycle centre ?

Wishing you well

Fradley

You need to talk to him again and try to get it through his head! Maybe tell him to look it like this- say he kind of like cashews but really only eats them every couple months. But imagine he likes to dump a package of peanuts into the trail mix you keep on the table just in case he's hungry for them. Then imagine you have a deadly allergy to those peanuts! Explain that it's not a big deal to him but that booze is like the deadly peanuts to you.

(((((Cauliflower))))) i think a indepth chat is in order and some boundaries like for example we have allow no alcohol in our home mrs sw feels strongly about this i didnt have to ask or push for this & everyone who knows me respects this

Might be time to have a sit down, the both of you, and have a chat about things, your commitment to Sobriety, how you feel around alcohol, it can't do any harm!!

How are you doing today, cauliflower?

Pour it down the drain.

I don't mean all men of course bc there are some good ones out there but it does seem like men are the most insensitive creatures. I don't know anything about your history with this man but is there a chance he did it on purpose trying to distract you from something he's doing? I have seen that happen more than one occasion over the years.. I know it's awful to even think about but it goes on more than people think it does... Nothing personal at all.. Just something to think about.