7+ months and what a ride!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
7+ months and what a ride!
Greetings fine people of SR!
I just thought I would check in here and let everybody know what life is like for me at 7+ months of continuos sobriety. It has been a rollercoaster, full of ups n downs, sharp turns, dips, drops, and even the odd upside down loop de loop. I have had to find new ways to cope with life and all the ups and downs without drinking, and that has been the challenge. I quit drinking/using believing that once I quit and got over the physical w/d's life would be restored to harmony. I was only half right.
As my mind has been clearing, and my body feeling better, I thought I was very close to being 100% better, but the problems in my life no longer had the buffer that drugs and alcohol provided, allowing me to completely compartmentalize them. In regards to my divorce that has been a big challenge but it is getting better. I can no longer run away from the harsh feelings that go along with the process of a long relationships end. I had to go through the feelings this time, and I still am. One thing that has helped so much is this place, being able to read, relate and not feel so alone. Another major help is me having a sponsor who I contact daily and meet IRL weekly, she is a lifesaver. We are working through the steps and so far I am enjoying the process, I feel progress is being made. Special thank you to the member who strongly suggested I look into the steps.
Things are going alright with the divorce, I think I have reached a new point in the grieving process. Acceptance. Although I still find myself with feelings of anger and resentment whenever I have to deal with my ex. We keep it straight business when we talk, but she still can throw her little 'jabs' at me, and it is very irritating. For example the other day I was returning from a vacation in Toronto with my kids (Great Times!) and was dropping them off, but her new boyfriend was there. I had already decided that since this man is going to be spending time around my children it is best I meet him, just to get his vibe. So I requested to meet him when I dropped the kids off.
I kept it nice n relaxed, just said "Hi, I'm [insert name here] and [insert name here]'s dad" and shook his hand.
He responded politely, but she cut in and says "I think he knows your the dad, Justin!"... I just kept my composure and continued on and said, "It's nice to meet you." I then immediately turned my attention to the kids, hugged n kissed them, said goodbye.
That little exchange got me so annoyed along with it being such an awkward situation. If I was currently drinking or using I would have responded with a barb of my own and things could have gotten even more awkward, especially for my children who were right there, so I tried to be the more mature person. It also would have been the perfect time to have a drink after to "calm my nerves." It bothered me, but having my sponsor to talk to immediately after was of extreme value!!! Posting here would have been equally sufficient I believe, but having both options now is great!
Things are looking up, I am taking my kids back to Toronto for the month of August for me to work/vacation, and it totally works to bring them. Their mother already signed off on it and is cool with me taking them again and the flights are booked. This is truly a benefit of sobriety. In my drinking/using time, this just would NOT have been possible.
I reached a point around 6 months where I was having trouble dealing and felt like relapse was a real possibility so I had to open my mind, expand my horizons and do even more to add to my recovery lifestyle. This is a lot of work! But worth it. As someone here once put it, I would much rather be on the rollercoaster of recovery as opposed to the merry go round of addiction.
Thank you everybody here, I am still reading here daily. Have a great day!
Justin
I just thought I would check in here and let everybody know what life is like for me at 7+ months of continuos sobriety. It has been a rollercoaster, full of ups n downs, sharp turns, dips, drops, and even the odd upside down loop de loop. I have had to find new ways to cope with life and all the ups and downs without drinking, and that has been the challenge. I quit drinking/using believing that once I quit and got over the physical w/d's life would be restored to harmony. I was only half right.
As my mind has been clearing, and my body feeling better, I thought I was very close to being 100% better, but the problems in my life no longer had the buffer that drugs and alcohol provided, allowing me to completely compartmentalize them. In regards to my divorce that has been a big challenge but it is getting better. I can no longer run away from the harsh feelings that go along with the process of a long relationships end. I had to go through the feelings this time, and I still am. One thing that has helped so much is this place, being able to read, relate and not feel so alone. Another major help is me having a sponsor who I contact daily and meet IRL weekly, she is a lifesaver. We are working through the steps and so far I am enjoying the process, I feel progress is being made. Special thank you to the member who strongly suggested I look into the steps.
Things are going alright with the divorce, I think I have reached a new point in the grieving process. Acceptance. Although I still find myself with feelings of anger and resentment whenever I have to deal with my ex. We keep it straight business when we talk, but she still can throw her little 'jabs' at me, and it is very irritating. For example the other day I was returning from a vacation in Toronto with my kids (Great Times!) and was dropping them off, but her new boyfriend was there. I had already decided that since this man is going to be spending time around my children it is best I meet him, just to get his vibe. So I requested to meet him when I dropped the kids off.
I kept it nice n relaxed, just said "Hi, I'm [insert name here] and [insert name here]'s dad" and shook his hand.
He responded politely, but she cut in and says "I think he knows your the dad, Justin!"... I just kept my composure and continued on and said, "It's nice to meet you." I then immediately turned my attention to the kids, hugged n kissed them, said goodbye.
That little exchange got me so annoyed along with it being such an awkward situation. If I was currently drinking or using I would have responded with a barb of my own and things could have gotten even more awkward, especially for my children who were right there, so I tried to be the more mature person. It also would have been the perfect time to have a drink after to "calm my nerves." It bothered me, but having my sponsor to talk to immediately after was of extreme value!!! Posting here would have been equally sufficient I believe, but having both options now is great!
Things are looking up, I am taking my kids back to Toronto for the month of August for me to work/vacation, and it totally works to bring them. Their mother already signed off on it and is cool with me taking them again and the flights are booked. This is truly a benefit of sobriety. In my drinking/using time, this just would NOT have been possible.
I reached a point around 6 months where I was having trouble dealing and felt like relapse was a real possibility so I had to open my mind, expand my horizons and do even more to add to my recovery lifestyle. This is a lot of work! But worth it. As someone here once put it, I would much rather be on the rollercoaster of recovery as opposed to the merry go round of addiction.
Thank you everybody here, I am still reading here daily. Have a great day!
Justin
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by Justincredible 
I reached a point around 6 months where I was having trouble dealing and felt like relapse was a real possibility so I had to open my mind, expand my horizons and do even more to add to my recovery lifestyle. This is a lot of work! But worth it. As someone here once put it, I would much rather be on the rollercoaster of recovery as opposed to the merry go round of addiction.
I can imagine how hard that'd be to meet and shake hands with her boyfriend like that. Really tough.
You're doing great. Keep it up.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Awesome Post Justin , Sounds like you have gotten a good handle on your sobriety . In my eyes it takes a Big man to except his X's new partner and not make waves . Wish mine had done the same at least for the children . Yea 7 + months way to go !!
And enjoy the trip with your kids. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
Thanks for all the responses! I'm just having my morning coffee and browsing SR, just feeling grateful for this place.
I forgot to mention my new therapist. I had my first session with her and it was really good. I asked about certain types of therapy and she told me that she doesn't want to start anything specific without getting to know me a bit more. She said it could be counterproductive to start something if there is no need too. I guess that makes sense, but there is a connection and I felt like it was worth the wait to see her.
Thanks,
Justin
I forgot to mention my new therapist. I had my first session with her and it was really good. I asked about certain types of therapy and she told me that she doesn't want to start anything specific without getting to know me a bit more. She said it could be counterproductive to start something if there is no need too. I guess that makes sense, but there is a connection and I felt like it was worth the wait to see her.
Thanks,
Justin
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by Justincredible
Greetings fine people of SR!
I just thought I would check in here and let everybody know what life is like for me at 7+ months of continuos sobriety. It has been a rollercoaster, full of ups n downs, sharp turns, dips, drops, and even the odd upside down loop de loop. I have had to find new ways to cope with life and all the ups and downs without drinking, and that has been the challenge. I quit drinking/using believing that once I quit and got over the physical w/d's life would be restored to harmony. I was only half right.
As my mind has been clearing, and my body feeling better, I thought I was very close to being 100% better, but the problems in my life no longer had the buffer that drugs and alcohol provided, allowing me to completely compartmentalize them. In regards to my divorce that has been a big challenge but it is getting better. I can no longer run away from the harsh feelings that go along with the process of a long relationships end. I had to go through the feelings this time, and I still am. One thing that has helped so much is this place, being able to read, relate and not feel so alone. Another major help is me having a sponsor who I contact daily and meet IRL weekly, she is a lifesaver. We are working through the steps and so far I am enjoying the process, I feel progress is being made. Special thank you to the member who strongly suggested I look into the steps.
Things are going alright with the divorce, I think I have reached a new point in the grieving process. Acceptance. Although I still find myself with feelings of anger and resentment whenever I have to deal with my ex. We keep it straight business when we talk, but she still can throw her little 'jabs' at me, and it is very irritating. For example the other day I was returning from a vacation in Toronto with my kids (Great Times!) and was dropping them off, but her new boyfriend was there. I had already decided that since this man is going to be spending time around my children it is best I meet him, just to get his vibe. So I requested to meet him when I dropped the kids off.
I kept it nice n relaxed, just said "Hi, I'm [insert name here] and [insert name here]'s dad" and shook his hand.
He responded politely, but she cut in and says "I think he knows your the dad, Justin!"... I just kept my composure and continued on and said, "It's nice to meet you." I then immediately turned my attention to the kids, hugged n kissed them, said goodbye.
That little exchange got me so annoyed along with it being such an awkward situation. If I was currently drinking or using I would have responded with a barb of my own and things could have gotten even more awkward, especially for my children who were right there, so I tried to be the more mature person. It also would have been the perfect time to have a drink after to "calm my nerves." It bothered me, but having my sponsor to talk to immediately after was of extreme value!!! Posting here would have been equally sufficient I believe, but having both options now is great!
Things are looking up, I am taking my kids back to Toronto for the month of August for me to work/vacation, and it totally works to bring them. Their mother already signed off on it and is cool with me taking them again and the flights are booked. This is truly a benefit of sobriety. In my drinking/using time, this just would NOT have been possible.
I reached a point around 6 months where I was having trouble dealing and felt like relapse was a real possibility so I had to open my mind, expand my horizons and do even more to add to my recovery lifestyle. This is a lot of work! But worth it. As someone here once put it, I would much rather be on the rollercoaster of recovery as opposed to the merry go round of addiction.
Thank you everybody here, I am still reading here daily. Have a great day!
Justin
I just thought I would check in here and let everybody know what life is like for me at 7+ months of continuos sobriety. It has been a rollercoaster, full of ups n downs, sharp turns, dips, drops, and even the odd upside down loop de loop. I have had to find new ways to cope with life and all the ups and downs without drinking, and that has been the challenge. I quit drinking/using believing that once I quit and got over the physical w/d's life would be restored to harmony. I was only half right.
As my mind has been clearing, and my body feeling better, I thought I was very close to being 100% better, but the problems in my life no longer had the buffer that drugs and alcohol provided, allowing me to completely compartmentalize them. In regards to my divorce that has been a big challenge but it is getting better. I can no longer run away from the harsh feelings that go along with the process of a long relationships end. I had to go through the feelings this time, and I still am. One thing that has helped so much is this place, being able to read, relate and not feel so alone. Another major help is me having a sponsor who I contact daily and meet IRL weekly, she is a lifesaver. We are working through the steps and so far I am enjoying the process, I feel progress is being made. Special thank you to the member who strongly suggested I look into the steps.
Things are going alright with the divorce, I think I have reached a new point in the grieving process. Acceptance. Although I still find myself with feelings of anger and resentment whenever I have to deal with my ex. We keep it straight business when we talk, but she still can throw her little 'jabs' at me, and it is very irritating. For example the other day I was returning from a vacation in Toronto with my kids (Great Times!) and was dropping them off, but her new boyfriend was there. I had already decided that since this man is going to be spending time around my children it is best I meet him, just to get his vibe. So I requested to meet him when I dropped the kids off.
I kept it nice n relaxed, just said "Hi, I'm [insert name here] and [insert name here]'s dad" and shook his hand.
He responded politely, but she cut in and says "I think he knows your the dad, Justin!"... I just kept my composure and continued on and said, "It's nice to meet you." I then immediately turned my attention to the kids, hugged n kissed them, said goodbye.
That little exchange got me so annoyed along with it being such an awkward situation. If I was currently drinking or using I would have responded with a barb of my own and things could have gotten even more awkward, especially for my children who were right there, so I tried to be the more mature person. It also would have been the perfect time to have a drink after to "calm my nerves." It bothered me, but having my sponsor to talk to immediately after was of extreme value!!! Posting here would have been equally sufficient I believe, but having both options now is great!
Things are looking up, I am taking my kids back to Toronto for the month of August for me to work/vacation, and it totally works to bring them. Their mother already signed off on it and is cool with me taking them again and the flights are booked. This is truly a benefit of sobriety. In my drinking/using time, this just would NOT have been possible.
I reached a point around 6 months where I was having trouble dealing and felt like relapse was a real possibility so I had to open my mind, expand my horizons and do even more to add to my recovery lifestyle. This is a lot of work! But worth it. As someone here once put it, I would much rather be on the rollercoaster of recovery as opposed to the merry go round of addiction.
Thank you everybody here, I am still reading here daily. Have a great day!
Justin
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Justincredible
I reached a point around 6 months where I was having trouble dealing and felt like relapse was a real possibility so I had to open my mind, expand my horizons and do even more to add to my recovery lifestyle. This is a lot of work! But worth it. As someone here once put it, I would much rather be on the rollercoaster of recovery as opposed to the merry go round of addiction.
Thank you everybody here, I am still reading here daily. Have a great day!
Justin
Thank you everybody here, I am still reading here daily. Have a great day!
Justin
Let's all
keep coming back
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