sobriiestote

Well, after my bottle of Chardonnay last night I was looking for more, wanting more, I remember that, I remember posting on here...

But when I woke up at 4am this morning I was confused, panicked and I knew I had drunk more than that, but what? Then it dawned on me... About 50 times before I have run out of wine and when I'm searching the back of the cupboards "just in case" miraculously there was a bottle I'd forgotten about, I've come across the bottle of ready mixed mulled wine. I'd always swear at it "damn why aren't you real red wine!" And leave it because;

A - you only drink mulled wine at Xmas...

And

B - you have to warm it up....

But last night apparently these "rules" were totally disregarded and I drank half a bottle of sickly sweet, cinnamon infused 10% mulled wine. I must have disgusted myself because I left half a bottle and came to bed.

Now I know it's not mouthwash but that is a new low for me.

We're going away for a few days and I'm going to tell my husband that we need to remove every trace of alcohol from the house.

By the way current state of play is I'm still waiting for my appointment for iOp, it sucks but at least I still want it. Previously I would have gone off the idea by now and ignored the letter when it came but not this time. I'm going to go, I'm going to admit what I'm drinking and I'm going to keep going. If I have to go every week and present a drinking diary showing 80-100 units a week then that's what I'll do. I want help and I'm ready for it.

Main aim of today is think up a new username, I got the email from Anna, she can do it : )

Dee74

It's never too late to start again
D

nyala

Hello,

Username: How about 'Fuzzynomore' or even 'Clarity'

Wishing you strength as you start on this journey.

Fradley

DitzyDandelion

Good for you on your new resolve to do this. I wish you the best.

PurpleKnight

Go at things again, but this taper idea doesn't seem to be working, in my experience alcohol no matter how little always opened the flood gates, and that seemed to be problem last night.

A new plan with no alcohol and abstinence may be a better way forward!!

You can do this, never give up!!

sobriiestote

Purpleknight - I agree, one drink and all bets are off (as I've heard here before) so I don't think tapering is going to work for me but it's what I've been advised. I'm terrified of having a fit or something if I just stop but is that really going to happen? If I'm not drinking during the day then surely by body is used to going without it for 18 hours - if I start drinking at 18.00 every day and stop by midnight??? I think I'm going to have to give cold turkey a shot....

Soberwolf

Have you got a recovery plan ?

doggonecarl

At some point you have to put the drink down.

Monitor your detox and head to an emergency room if you think your are having issues. Reach out to other recovered alcoholics in your area (in AA) and ask them what the available resources are for detoxing.