What does living in the solution mean?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
my problem is staying there. It happens allt he time. My mind wonders off in to the problem territory and i can loose 5 10 60 minutes off worrying about problems and getting sad and feeling terrible. Just yest I an incident where my mind wondered i came back too and thought where was i? I was off worried about wtvr in lala land instead of enjoying the drive i was doing at the time and the scenery.
Now its better these days then it was. I used to spend months in the problems then weeks then days then hours. Now sometmes i loose a day to problems but i do try hard to keep my mind on happy stuff.
For me this takes effort and does not come easy.
Now its better these days then it was. I used to spend months in the problems then weeks then days then hours. Now sometmes i loose a day to problems but i do try hard to keep my mind on happy stuff.
For me this takes effort and does not come easy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 106
Great thread and question. For me it starts with surrender to the fact that I am an alcoholic. Then, I need to take action on the steps that will maintain my sobriety and reinforce my recovery. Living in the solution is focusing on what I can do to improve my situation. Right now it's protecting my serenity, getting back into meditations, going to meetings. For me, I start hearing the AV and it's easy to fall out of the solution.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
Originally Posted by Stratman1 
I was putting together a new mixtape for myself, my son and maybe Zenchaser here said she would be interested to hear some of my work. Really deep and soulful summery sounds. Like a lot of these projects I got it to 90% complete, I have scores of them in a similar state. I got knocked off-centre then by conflict and I haven't gotten back, it happens all the time. The intro for this particular & new musical journey I took from a film 'Pleansantville'. It goes: "A time has come to make a decision. Are we in this thing alone or are we in it together?" It came about sunbconciously on foot of my family law dates, and uncertainties. However it can be interpreted different ways, so I am saying it has something to do with that (quote).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 82
I'd never heard the "tape" expression before. Sounds akin to "Think through the drink to the drunk."
For the tape one, found a good explanation here:
http://www.slideshare.net/SerenityVi...e-tape-through
18. The tool that newcomers are handed, "Play the tape through to the end", means don't hit the pause, rewind button, let it play through. What happens after that first glass of wine?
19. A second glass? Third, fourth, fifth, bottle after bottle? Drinking and driving, the look on the children's faces again when they realize you have relapsed? The dark alleys, crack houses and jail cells?
20. The hangover for work Monday morning, the shakes, sickness, shame and remorse and even worse, the realization that you are caught again in the active addiction, and can't stop. Play the tape through to the end.
21. We don't use this tool very often other than in this particular situation, because it is a One Day At A Time program, and we try to stay out of the past as well
22. We try to stay in the moment. But playing the tape through is one of the most powerful tools to the newcomer who may get stuck in euphoric recall.
Love it when the questions come. I either get a refresher course or learn something new. Thanks for asking!
PJ
"Sobriety is not a spectator sport."
For the tape one, found a good explanation here:
http://www.slideshare.net/SerenityVi...e-tape-through
18. The tool that newcomers are handed, "Play the tape through to the end", means don't hit the pause, rewind button, let it play through. What happens after that first glass of wine?
19. A second glass? Third, fourth, fifth, bottle after bottle? Drinking and driving, the look on the children's faces again when they realize you have relapsed? The dark alleys, crack houses and jail cells?
20. The hangover for work Monday morning, the shakes, sickness, shame and remorse and even worse, the realization that you are caught again in the active addiction, and can't stop. Play the tape through to the end.
21. We don't use this tool very often other than in this particular situation, because it is a One Day At A Time program, and we try to stay out of the past as well
22. We try to stay in the moment. But playing the tape through is one of the most powerful tools to the newcomer who may get stuck in euphoric recall.
Love it when the questions come. I either get a refresher course or learn something new. Thanks for asking!
PJ
"Sobriety is not a spectator sport."
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This really helped me today.
D.
D.
Originally Posted by Venecia
Hi, Jeff --
This phrase is one I heard not long after joining SR and it resonated more than anything before or since. And that's saying something because there is a lot of wisdom on SR.
I think it may be one that has different meanings to different people. What I can do is share with you what it meant to me:
- For a long time, I knew I had a problem. The solution? Doing something about it.
- Until then, I had made half-assed attempts to moderate. Or denied that I could be "one of those people" because "those people" were so much worse than me. The solution? Recognizing that I am one of "those people." And we're good people. But we cannot drink.
- Like many, I had romanticized drinking. If something is good, wine will make it better. Others can drink and why shouldn't I be able to, too? What did all of that get me? Drinking in isolation so no one would know how bad it had gotten. The solution? Stop looking at booze as something that elevates an experience. Recognize what it had done to me. That is a solemn moment.
- I had begun to fear for my physical health. If you keep drinking long enough, the toll starts to be exacted. The solution? Don't drink.
- I already feared for my mental and emotional health. Alcohol is a depressant, after all. The solution? Don't drink.
- I was so tired. Tired of being hungover. Tired of an ishy stomach. Tired of knowing I wasn't doing my best at work. The solution? Well, I think you know the answer.
Those are just a few examples. It goes a little deeper for me, as well.
I had to take alcohol off the table. Forever. But it had to be more than that. I had to listen to what others here said, find common ground and trust that the seasoned veterans knew what they were talking about.
Alcohol was so embedded in my existence. Living in the solution, for me, began with an unwavering commitment to a life in which booze isn't an option and then filling the void that it had created. I had to find new ways to enjoy myself such as making a commitment to exercise, spending time doing things I enjoy and taking care of myself in ways I had neglected for a long time.
It also meant forgiving myself for the years when so much time was wasted because of alcohol. That has taken time.
I began living. Really living. Embracing a new life. Viewing sobriety not through the lens of "what I cannot have" but the freedom of the life I can live.
Living in the solution -- sobriety, then recovery.
I'm not one for brevity and I enjoy writing. These are "off the top of the head" thoughts and you've inspired me to think about this in greater detail.
My two-year anniversary is in 26 days. You've given me the idea to write more about this as my big day draws closer. Thank you!
I hope that this has given you some insight.
Venecia
This phrase is one I heard not long after joining SR and it resonated more than anything before or since. And that's saying something because there is a lot of wisdom on SR.
I think it may be one that has different meanings to different people. What I can do is share with you what it meant to me:
- For a long time, I knew I had a problem. The solution? Doing something about it.
- Until then, I had made half-assed attempts to moderate. Or denied that I could be "one of those people" because "those people" were so much worse than me. The solution? Recognizing that I am one of "those people." And we're good people. But we cannot drink.
- Like many, I had romanticized drinking. If something is good, wine will make it better. Others can drink and why shouldn't I be able to, too? What did all of that get me? Drinking in isolation so no one would know how bad it had gotten. The solution? Stop looking at booze as something that elevates an experience. Recognize what it had done to me. That is a solemn moment.
- I had begun to fear for my physical health. If you keep drinking long enough, the toll starts to be exacted. The solution? Don't drink.
- I already feared for my mental and emotional health. Alcohol is a depressant, after all. The solution? Don't drink.
- I was so tired. Tired of being hungover. Tired of an ishy stomach. Tired of knowing I wasn't doing my best at work. The solution? Well, I think you know the answer.
Those are just a few examples. It goes a little deeper for me, as well.
I had to take alcohol off the table. Forever. But it had to be more than that. I had to listen to what others here said, find common ground and trust that the seasoned veterans knew what they were talking about.
Alcohol was so embedded in my existence. Living in the solution, for me, began with an unwavering commitment to a life in which booze isn't an option and then filling the void that it had created. I had to find new ways to enjoy myself such as making a commitment to exercise, spending time doing things I enjoy and taking care of myself in ways I had neglected for a long time.
It also meant forgiving myself for the years when so much time was wasted because of alcohol. That has taken time.
I began living. Really living. Embracing a new life. Viewing sobriety not through the lens of "what I cannot have" but the freedom of the life I can live.
Living in the solution -- sobriety, then recovery.
I'm not one for brevity and I enjoy writing. These are "off the top of the head" thoughts and you've inspired me to think about this in greater detail.
My two-year anniversary is in 26 days. You've given me the idea to write more about this as my big day draws closer. Thank you!
I hope that this has given you some insight.
Venecia
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Originally Posted by thomas11
This is one of the two things I am trying to understand better, thus the post. The other is playing the tape forward. I hear people say it is very helpful, and I know what it means. But playing the tape forward for me doesn't click yet. I know its supposed to remind me of what lies ahead in terms of guilt and misery. On the flip side, I like playing the tape forward for NOT drinking. Because I see myself waking up early in the morning raring to go, which is very rewarding to me in an of itself.
For years I didn't care about the outcome - I just wanted to get wasted and screw the consequences.
I guess I grew a little and value myself more in recovery because now not only can I remember where my drinking took me, I know I never want to debase myself like that again
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
