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-   -   'Push Back' ? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/371907-push-back.html)

Dee74 07-19-2015 06:18 PM

'Push Back' ?
 
I'm in the middle of what is usually a 3 or 4 day migraine so let it be noted my usual filters are non-existent.

This notion of 'push back' tho - as if it's a bad thing - is really eating at me.

If I ever start to let my addiction do the talking again, and I look as tho I'm going to fall...I hope that someone here will care enough to risk pissing me off and push me back, HARD...back all the way to solid ground.

(I expect many of you would :))

This addiction thing is life and death...addiction's greatest sleight of hand is convincing us that dire ends are a million miles away ...

We're a community here - and more than that, a family - these connections we make are real...

if your family can't tell you what you need to hear, who can?

D

DitzyDandelion 07-19-2015 06:21 PM

The best kick up the arse you can probably get is reading back your own advice to others :D Its some pretty good stuff.

Ginamarie323 07-19-2015 06:22 PM

I completely agree. Had to stop myself from blasting a particular poster that said that yesterday....Feel better Dee:)

Ronker 07-19-2015 06:23 PM

Well said Dee, I'm feeling good and welcome here.
Those migraines are shocking, my wife gets them, whilst not a cure, she was advised to hydrate lots, and she finds upping her water consumption helps, maybe might give you some relief.

Dee74 07-19-2015 06:24 PM

I've seen it in more than one place today :)
Only the nomenclature is new - I don't want people to think I'm posting to one or two posters.

Thanks Ginamarie and Ronker
I had them as a kid and then nothing for a few decades, then the auras came back and now the headaches.

sod's luck :)
D

DitzyDandelion 07-19-2015 06:26 PM

I think it's important to remember when people take the 'push back' badly you are talking to their AV. If they do manage to battle it off I am sure in time they will be grateful.

silentrun 07-19-2015 06:34 PM

I would hope someone would do the same for me too Dee. The couple of threads that I have seen recently where the person thought they were receiving push back looked more to me like someone getting good advice. It seems like the addiction has a single bag of tricks it uses on all of us. Been there, done that, it's a trick comes across as push back to someone who hasn't really accepted what they are up against.

LBrain 07-19-2015 06:35 PM

I have no experience or knowledge of migraines. But I hope you can get through this.

Does meditation work? om...

Dee74 07-19-2015 06:36 PM

I've tried it all LB. I'll be fine in a day or two.

D

letitgo 07-19-2015 06:40 PM

I am really suprised this go around at sobriety. I think I had the blinders on about advice and bargaining with the booze last year. I think I was oblivious to because I wasn't all in or my AV would just brush it over. I have been back to he'll in that time and understand the importance of your message Dee. It is life or death and needs to be taken serious with no pussyfooting.

It reminds me of Green eggs and ham with Sam I am. Sam (booze is not your friends do stay far far away). Just tries to gnaw at you until you give in unless giving in is not an option.

Inchworm 07-19-2015 06:43 PM

Feel better, Dee. I get auras sometimes but no pain. Makes me sleepy, though, when it happens.

I've been tempted to say some things on SR at times that would not be kind or at all helpful. Very often that happens when I'm not being kind or helpful to myself either!

courage2 07-19-2015 06:44 PM

Thanks for posting this Dee.

I think some members with long-time sobriety whom I used to look to for solid sense have moved on or are away lately for whatever reason.

Those of us hanging in have to learn how to give the needed push without completely alienating the one who's caught in addicted delusion. It's not easy and I expect you don't get a ton of thanks. Well you do, but I won't :)

Anyway, I suppose I/we can learn by example.

KaleGrrl 07-19-2015 06:46 PM

Sorry about your migraine, Dee, hope it resolves quickly.

ScottFromWI 07-19-2015 06:50 PM

I understand what you mean Dee and agree 100%. I hope you feel better soon.

Quirky 07-19-2015 07:46 PM

Hope your migraine is gone soon Dee.

Soberpotamus 07-19-2015 07:55 PM

Dee, I hope you feel much better soon.

I will try to give you a kick up the arse if I ever think you're near drinking or even contemplating it :)

XOXO

Fly N Buy 07-19-2015 08:00 PM

We are sooooo sensitive, especially when just starting out. It's hard to gage tone in electronic communication and sentiments sometimes get lost or altered in translation.

If I type - ya right ...... It might be read as sarcasm
If it type yea RIGHT!! Maybe it's perceived as affirmation.

When we post and ask for help/opinions we must have thick skin cause were will get it - yea right ;) and there are some very sick people out there = mirror.

Dee, I know enough about you that I understand your sense of spirituality. While we might not always post eloquently if ones heart and conscious is in the right place - spirit driven - I think we are then helpful overall.

I was taught in the program i follow to always consider tradition 2 when sharing. I always sense this is in your heart as well.

Clusters suck - only time I'll suggest you stay in the dark man.

Peace

Dee74 07-19-2015 08:02 PM

Thanks all - and special thanks to the person who thought I *was* crying out for help here.

I'm used to migraines...I'm not in any danger of relapse at all - but it's great to know folks have got your back :)

D

EndGameNYC 07-19-2015 08:05 PM

It's been said many times that you're not in trouble when the teacher, the coach, or the supervisor at work is pushing you. It's when they stop paying attention that you'd better get your **** together.

I was way past the brink when I relapsed, and I wasn't aware of SR at the time, but man, I sure could have used it. When I think someone is placing themselves in danger, I can't think of a single reason not to say so.

Sending out anti-migraine vibes.

Venecia 07-19-2015 08:07 PM

Oh, Dee. It is hard to know that someone who brings so much strength and wisdom to others is feeling pain. I hope the migraine is gone soon. Take good care of yourself.

And yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes. If I ever felt myself sliding back, I'd want the full force of this community bringing me back to my senses. As you observed: "This addiction thing is life and death...addiction's greatest sleight of hand is convincing us that dire ends are a million miles away ..."

One of the many great things about SR is that we have the most finely tuned collective BS detector on Earth. We ought to -- who knows BS better than a bunch of recovered alcoholics and addicts who were once so well practiced at living in it? Heck, if we could just patent it ...


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