What has worked best for everybody?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
My last drink was 4/21/05. Walked into my first AA meeting 4/23/05.
Worked the program and went to meetings.
Still go to meetings. 2-4/wk.
My life and myself have improved tremendously and my last drink is still 4/21/05.
Worked the program and went to meetings.
Still go to meetings. 2-4/wk.
My life and myself have improved tremendously and my last drink is still 4/21/05.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I have used a combination of SR, the support of my family, therapy for my anxiety/OCD and mindfulness/meditation. I also worked with my doctor for the initial physical withdrawal and "rebuildling" of my physical health. I have also been to AA and Smart meetings, and I read the AA big book on a fairly regular basis.
Bottom line, anything that can help is part of my toolbox!
Bottom line, anything that can help is part of my toolbox!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
I have used a combination of SR, the support of my family, therapy for my anxiety/OCD and mindfulness/meditation. I also worked with my doctor for the initial physical withdrawal and "rebuildling" of my physical health. I have also been to AA and Smart meetings, and I read the AA big book on a fairly regular basis.
Bottom line, anything that can help is part of my toolbox!
Bottom line, anything that can help is part of my toolbox!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It all started for me with an acceptance, accepting alcohol was now permanently off the table as an option, no more experimenting with moderation, no more 2 Sober days a week, or only wine on a Monday night, this was it, alcohol and myself were simply incompatible, like someone who gets diagnosed with a nut allergy, who then doesn't proceed to go out and test the waters with a bag of oven roasted.
Next up, after I'd come to terms with that reality was building support into my daily routine, because after a while the mind starts to come up with perfectly sensible ideas of maybe things weren't so bad, maybe I could now go and control my drinking having had a break for a month, wouldn't it be nice to have a cold beer on a hot summers day, or a nice glass of Ireland's finest on a cozy winter's night, what do you think?
In isolation there tended to be only one outcome, but with support and something to keep me focused on the task at hand, something to give me a second opinion on things, something to short circuit my own addictive thoughts, I could follow through on my earlier good intentions.
Finally Sobriety is about more than not drinking or simple abstinence, continuing on the same life is will create problems, heading out on a friday to the local bar, clubbing on a Saturday night or heading to the annual wine tasting event that "I always" and "must" go to, to make Sobriety work some real decisions needed to be made on the activities I I was now going to get involved in and the people I was going to hang out with moving forward.
Being proactive and making Sobriety happen is required rather than simply expecting things to change but not doing anything different, realising this was when the penny finally dropped!!
Next up, after I'd come to terms with that reality was building support into my daily routine, because after a while the mind starts to come up with perfectly sensible ideas of maybe things weren't so bad, maybe I could now go and control my drinking having had a break for a month, wouldn't it be nice to have a cold beer on a hot summers day, or a nice glass of Ireland's finest on a cozy winter's night, what do you think?
In isolation there tended to be only one outcome, but with support and something to keep me focused on the task at hand, something to give me a second opinion on things, something to short circuit my own addictive thoughts, I could follow through on my earlier good intentions.
Finally Sobriety is about more than not drinking or simple abstinence, continuing on the same life is will create problems, heading out on a friday to the local bar, clubbing on a Saturday night or heading to the annual wine tasting event that "I always" and "must" go to, to make Sobriety work some real decisions needed to be made on the activities I I was now going to get involved in and the people I was going to hang out with moving forward.
Being proactive and making Sobriety happen is required rather than simply expecting things to change but not doing anything different, realising this was when the penny finally dropped!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 103
Purpleknight - I think one of the hardest things is accepting that alcohol is not an option anymore. I'm not good with change or loss (and in a way, this is a loss). It was amazing that after my binge last weekend and how badly I felt the next Monday, how quickly my brain rationalized that it really wasn't that bad...the brain is really trying to do whatever it can for that next drink. I can recognize a lot of these things, but action is the hardest part.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
One of the things that I found helpful was to write a list, the things alcohol adds to my life and the things that alcohol negatively impacts in my life, and then turn it around and do 2 more lists, I focused on what Sobriety would bring to my life, and how Sobriety would negatively impact my life.
Trust me when I laid it all out it's far from a loss, that's just another lie that our addiction tries to sell us, but the reality is if a friend or a real person treated me how alcohol has treated me over the years, I would have said goodbye to them a long time ago, we wouldn't stand for it if it was a real person.
Change is the hard bit I agree, which is why my stage 1 needed quickly backed up with stage 2, for me I could go to work hungover with good intentions, 8hrs later be stopping off at the liquor store, I went round that daily cycle for a long time, until I got some support into the equation.
You can do this!!
Trust me when I laid it all out it's far from a loss, that's just another lie that our addiction tries to sell us, but the reality is if a friend or a real person treated me how alcohol has treated me over the years, I would have said goodbye to them a long time ago, we wouldn't stand for it if it was a real person.
Change is the hard bit I agree, which is why my stage 1 needed quickly backed up with stage 2, for me I could go to work hungover with good intentions, 8hrs later be stopping off at the liquor store, I went round that daily cycle for a long time, until I got some support into the equation.
You can do this!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 103
Thank you for the positive support and encouragement. Let's see, how has alcohol negatively impacted my life: caused me to lie; blackout; put myself in dangerous situations; physically make me sick; neglect/ruin relationships; make my depression worse. How has it positively impacted my life: maybe makes me more social (but usually ends up in me embarrassing myself).
Seems like the choice should be so simple.
Seems like the choice should be so simple.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 174
Thanks for all the feedback everybody.
Purpleknight - if you're comfortable, could you provide some insight as to what " building support into my daily routine" entailed? This is something I am very eager and interested to learn. Somehow it's taken me about 6-8 years to fully accept I can not just do this alone. I have loved the idea of "same me, just without the alcohol", and it took until now for me to realize I love that idea because it's basic and requires no real action.
Purpleknight - if you're comfortable, could you provide some insight as to what " building support into my daily routine" entailed? This is something I am very eager and interested to learn. Somehow it's taken me about 6-8 years to fully accept I can not just do this alone. I have loved the idea of "same me, just without the alcohol", and it took until now for me to realize I love that idea because it's basic and requires no real action.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Daybyday, I've found this site extremely helpful. I also had one or two withdrawals a couple years ago to that was probably the most unpleasant experience I can remember. That being said, as you can see by reading the responses, there are a great number of programs and techniques that have helped people.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by Scram
Purpleknight - if you're comfortable, could you provide some insight as to what " building support into my daily routine" entailed?
To be honest I hadn't the energy in the first few weeks/months for much, I felt as if I was constantly jet lagged, I was working full time, coming home and crashing, but rather than drinking I was Sober.
Support came in the form of making a conscious decision to schedule SR checkins, at least 6 per day I started with, the first thing I looked at when I awoke at 7am, the first thing I looked at when I arrived at work about 9am, on my lunch break at 1am, before I left for work at 5pm (very important for any last minute thoughts of stopping by the liquor store), when I arrived home from work at 6pm (again to prevent any further last minute thoughts of heading back out to the liquor store) and last thing before bed time around 10/11pm.
A rigid structure, nothing left to chance, something real and tangible in the form of a plan to try and get this Sobriety thing to stick, others substitute their plan with meetings, therapy sessions etc, whatever works.
My goal each day was to get to bedtime without drinking, nothing more, nothing less in the beginning, there's plenty of time for other lifestyle changes and taking on the world, but to start with I only needed to get to bedtime!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Hi Daybyday,
Tried many things for ages before it 'stuck'. Rational Recovery was the key for me but I've come to believe that the more time I spend with my attention turned outwards, towards the world (rather than dwelling on my personal stuff) the less I am troubled by thoughts that support the idea of drinking. My boy is three years old now and he has never - and never will - see his daddy drunk. That tiny man is a very powerful motivator! He is a constant reminder of how fortunate I am.
Tried many things for ages before it 'stuck'. Rational Recovery was the key for me but I've come to believe that the more time I spend with my attention turned outwards, towards the world (rather than dwelling on my personal stuff) the less I am troubled by thoughts that support the idea of drinking. My boy is three years old now and he has never - and never will - see his daddy drunk. That tiny man is a very powerful motivator! He is a constant reminder of how fortunate I am.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Originally Posted by Purpleknight
My goal each day was to get to bedtime without drinking, nothing more, nothing less in the beginning, there's plenty of time for other lifestyle changes and taking on the world, but to start with I only needed to get to bedtime!!
I needed inpatient rehab for a few weeks to keep me sober enough so that my head was clear and to learn a bunch of tips and lessons.
Getting out was when the hard work started.
For a long, long time I woke every day and said, 'I will not drink today'. And then I did whatever I needed in that day to not drink. Sometimes meetings, sometime literature, some meditation, playing the tape, and sometimes going to bed early so I could be sure to get there sober.
One day at a time.
It gets better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Purpleknight: My goal each day was to get to bedtime without drinking, nothing more, nothing less in the beginning, there's plenty of time for other lifestyle changes and taking on the world, but to start with I only needed to get to bedtime!!
Exactly, and bedtime came pretty early some days for me.
Exactly, and bedtime came pretty early some days for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by Incontrol15
What Dee said.
I attended AA a couple times early on. I did find it helpful. I got to meet people that went through what I did. That was nice. It also was part of my plan to do everything possible to gain control of my life. So I made a plan and took action. That's wasn't what I normally did. So that made a difference for me.
I saw a counselor. Part of my plan to do everything. Felt good to take action and I learned some things along the way.
I am the type that digs into and becomes an expert in something that interests me. I read and read and read. Then I researched and researched and researched. Filling my mind with all that information and inspiration probably had the biggest impact.
I took action to improve other parts of my life. No brainer stuff like drinking more water then ever before. It's now my go to beverage. I eat better then ever before too. I pay attention to what I'm eating and be sure to eat fruits and veggies. That made a huge difference. Along with taking vitamins.
I posted often. I reach out to newbs and cheer them along and offer advise where I can.
I told everyone who is important to me my problem and what I'm doing to stop drinking. It helped with accountability. Even though I had lived a long time lying and hiding my booze, I felt I couldn't lie about what I was doing and if I said I was going to do something, like go to a counselor, I did it.
Meditation helped me big time early on too.
I looked at it this way. If I wanted to quit a very bad addiction, I needed to be peddle to the metal. I needed as many tools in my tool box as possible. And I needed access to, and know how to use, every weapon that is lethal for alcoholism.
I attended AA a couple times early on. I did find it helpful. I got to meet people that went through what I did. That was nice. It also was part of my plan to do everything possible to gain control of my life. So I made a plan and took action. That's wasn't what I normally did. So that made a difference for me.
I saw a counselor. Part of my plan to do everything. Felt good to take action and I learned some things along the way.
I am the type that digs into and becomes an expert in something that interests me. I read and read and read. Then I researched and researched and researched. Filling my mind with all that information and inspiration probably had the biggest impact.
I took action to improve other parts of my life. No brainer stuff like drinking more water then ever before. It's now my go to beverage. I eat better then ever before too. I pay attention to what I'm eating and be sure to eat fruits and veggies. That made a huge difference. Along with taking vitamins.
I posted often. I reach out to newbs and cheer them along and offer advise where I can.
I told everyone who is important to me my problem and what I'm doing to stop drinking. It helped with accountability. Even though I had lived a long time lying and hiding my booze, I felt I couldn't lie about what I was doing and if I said I was going to do something, like go to a counselor, I did it.
Meditation helped me big time early on too.
I looked at it this way. If I wanted to quit a very bad addiction, I needed to be peddle to the metal. I needed as many tools in my tool box as possible. And I needed access to, and know how to use, every weapon that is lethal for alcoholism.
levonhelmrules
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Taylorsville Utah
Posts: 88
Wow. What a great thread. Thanks to all for the insightful posts.
I personally use SR, honesty, and accountability. I am nearly 9 months in, and I finally feel like I'm out of the woods with anxiety and panic.
I would have to say my wife's support, and unconditional love and support have been by far the biggest factor in my sobriety.
I personally use SR, honesty, and accountability. I am nearly 9 months in, and I finally feel like I'm out of the woods with anxiety and panic.
I would have to say my wife's support, and unconditional love and support have been by far the biggest factor in my sobriety.
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