ArtFriend

I know even before I post this that people will tell me that what I did was stupid, and I agree it is. But here goes.

My drink of choice has always been vodka. Last weekend, I bought a bottle of KJ wine. I still have some left. I physically cannot drink more than 1/2 glass of this stuff at a time.

So why did I buy the wine? Probably thought I could handle it better than vodka. If the amount that I drank indicates "handling it" then I guess I did handle it better. When I drink vodka, one shot turns into 5 or 6 quickly.

So, what does this mean? I am a vodka alcoholic but not a wine alcoholic?

OK - I am ready for the onslaught. Please don't be too mean in your comments OK? Thanks

Lance40

I think you know and all of us know that nothing has changed. You're just not used to the wine.....yet. I used to struggle to get red wine down and then got to a point where I bought it by the box and would hold it over my head, press the pour button and gulp as fast as the stream flowed into my mouth. Be careful and take care of yourself. :-)

Tang

This could have been me. I'm no recovery expert, but I think us folks with problems with alcohol shouldn't drink any type of alcohol?

I'm no saint. I've done this many times before.

Ruby2

ArtFriend, I don't know that you'll catch it from anyone. I've been reading your posts long enough to think "what's ArtFriend been drinking now?" when you post. There's a sameness to them. Either it's time to quit or it isn't. Sooner is better than later. If you are intending to quit then buying any alcohol of whatever flavor strikes your fancy this time is a bad idea. You know that full well.

So. Do you want to get and stay sober or not?

ArtFriend

????

trachemys

C'mon. We don't have to be mean for you to know where this goes. I'd switch poisons to scale back and end up with the 5 liter box of red sitting on the coffee table so I didn't have to get up to refill my glass.

silentrun

It's a straight up trick your mind is playing on you. I never overdid it when I drank beer or wine. Only hard liquor for me. The one that just got you came at me pretty early on. It is an adaptation of the "moderation recipe for disaster".

2WheelsGood

While I prefer craft brews and single malts, I know that I could fill my fridge with Budweiser and it would still be gone by the end of the week. I tried the "buy crap you don't like and you'll moderate" approach but in the end it doesn't work for me. I'll still drink it, albeit slowly, and then go get what I really want when my guard is down. "Hell with it! I'm off the wagon - why punish myself? Let's get the MacAllan 12 and enjoy it!" is what my AV would be telling me.

If you can truly moderate by buying something you don't like then perhaps that is better than being drunk. But then why bother?

Good luck with your decisions. I hope you find something that works for you.

ArtFriend

I found it interesting that I could sip on a bottle of wine for a whole week when a bottle of vodka is gone in a minute. I was under the impression that alcoholics will drink whatever is available, including mouth wash.

gettingsmarter

Sorry you have been drinking Art. Any kind of alcohol eventually leads me to loser land. I will say if I guzzle the 100 proof stuff like i used to it turns me back into a loser about 15 min faster than if I had something else.

jryan19982

I'm an alcoholic and i never drank mouthwash. My longest streak ended when i bought some red wine. Only drank a few ounces those first days. Then a glass then two. It builds up... at least for me..

silentrun

That's an end stage drinker AF. Now the "I'm not that bads" are coming at you.

EndGameNYC

I don't know that what you did was stupid, but it's certainly typical of someone who wants to continue drinking.

I agree with trachemys. What you did was simply another version of moderating, something I never attempted, but which is the hallmark of the majority of alcoholics. One of the DSM diagnostic criteria for alcohol dependence is a "persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use."

More or less, yes. It seems you're looking for a loophole. Doesn't matter that you didn't drink it all at once; you still drank. The fact that you spread out your drinking over more time and in smaller amounts than is typical for you is not evidence that you don't have a problem with alcohol; your experiment only provides evidence that you do.

ArtFriend

I am not justifying my drinking. I said in the OP that it was stupid. I am just wondering why the difference in the two types of alcohol.

Ruby2 - I PMd you to ask for clarification on your posting. Evidently you think I am drinking every time I post and that is the furthest from the truth. I have only posted here when drinking a handful of times and I usually announce it in my thread.

Weasel1966

I dont need to add words. They are being said by others and even you. How about just a little ((love))?

ArtFriend

How so? This part confuses me. If I drink less and over a longer period of time doesn't that say something?

ArtFriend

Awww, thanks Weasel. (((hugs)))

EndGameNYC

Yes. It says that you're doing something that only people who have a problem with alcohol would attempt. Other people don't even consider moderating their drinking. They don't have to.

Your measure of success, that you were able to do this for a single week, only says that you were able to do this for a single week, and nothing more. If this is how you drank before you attempted to get sober, for the majority of your drinking career, then there'd be no need for you to get sober.

Verte

Hey ArtFriend,

You seem to be tortured both with and without the alcohol. Does it really matter what type of alcohol? There is no judgment here, AF. One year before I came to SR I spent a week amongst those who, I now realize, had voluntarily enrolled in IOP. There was not a chance in heck at that time that I would stop drinking as I was still entrenched so there was no dance or discussion. The others, however, universally expressed a willingness to figure out how to live without substances. I sense that you are sick of the dance but remain stuck. I think. What is next?

wehav2day

I spent a lot of time analyzing my drinking, too. I was looking for that magic combo that led to the great white whale called "moderation." I never hit on that magic formula, but I almost died trying.

Good luck to you, sending hope and hugs.