BringingBackB's sober thread.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 654
Originally Posted by BringingBackB 
Thanks DD! Looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel after all 
Edit : as I am under 35 and single, it appears I don't 'qualify'!
Edit : as I am under 35 and single, it appears I don't 'qualify'!
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Thanks DD, I will look into that. I should be okay for this months rent (just), if i'm off any longer I will have no choice but to submit an application for benefit.
In terms of work, I have had a call with Occ health and stated last week that I'd be willing to return on a staggered return basis. I've not had a call back from my manager though and i'm in no particular hurry to be back there so i'll continue using the time to work on myself. I've done my bit (occ health agreed with this). I get so stressed when I think about work, as last time I was off for depression I was put on a performance improvement plan which could have cost me my job if I did not follow the stipulations. That obviously made my mental health much worse but I somehow got through it and it was signed off. I have also had comments from my manager that if i carried on how I was I wouldn't last with them very long. I do have super good performance reviews though so if they tried anything I believe it would be classed as discrimination against my health because I am more than capable of doing the job at a satisfactory level.
Work is my main stress really and it is always at the back of my mind, so the sooner it gets resolved the better. I have made progress with looking into teacher training for next year however, so I shouldn't have to hack my current job for much longer if I don't want to. The main thing is that I am at least able to think about and deal with these issues now, rather than 1-2 weeks ago when I had to just block all thoughts of it.
In other areas - I have been enjoying reading Noah Levine's book on a buddhist approach to recovery. Finding it very interesting and starting to learn how to practice mindfulness.
Still sleeping great - I cannot emphasise how much this has helped, mainly as a result of changing up my meds to suit me better. I go to bed feeling relaxed and confident that I will get some good sleep. After years and years of bed time panic and insomnia, this has been huge.
B
In terms of work, I have had a call with Occ health and stated last week that I'd be willing to return on a staggered return basis. I've not had a call back from my manager though and i'm in no particular hurry to be back there so i'll continue using the time to work on myself. I've done my bit (occ health agreed with this). I get so stressed when I think about work, as last time I was off for depression I was put on a performance improvement plan which could have cost me my job if I did not follow the stipulations. That obviously made my mental health much worse but I somehow got through it and it was signed off. I have also had comments from my manager that if i carried on how I was I wouldn't last with them very long. I do have super good performance reviews though so if they tried anything I believe it would be classed as discrimination against my health because I am more than capable of doing the job at a satisfactory level.
Work is my main stress really and it is always at the back of my mind, so the sooner it gets resolved the better. I have made progress with looking into teacher training for next year however, so I shouldn't have to hack my current job for much longer if I don't want to. The main thing is that I am at least able to think about and deal with these issues now, rather than 1-2 weeks ago when I had to just block all thoughts of it.
In other areas - I have been enjoying reading Noah Levine's book on a buddhist approach to recovery. Finding it very interesting and starting to learn how to practice mindfulness.
Still sleeping great - I cannot emphasise how much this has helped, mainly as a result of changing up my meds to suit me better. I go to bed feeling relaxed and confident that I will get some good sleep. After years and years of bed time panic and insomnia, this has been huge.
B
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Day 36
Still going strong! Been on a bit of a downer today, but instead of letting it define me or acting on it, im just allowing it to be. I've got lots of things to be frustrated about at the moment so I don't think it's unusual at all, it's just life. The more I train my brain to accept life the better I will be able to adapt to future situations.
I have been waiting for work to contact me as I put in a request for a staggered return of no more than 3 days a week for a while. I feel I am ready for that now. Frustratingly, they have not responded to my request, and I'm not going back until something has been agreed by me, so I'm in a bit of limbo at the moment. The positive thing being that the longer they delay, the more time I have to work on myself and potentially look for abother job I might enjoy more. The negative being money and lack of peace of mind. If I don't hear anything by the end of this week I'll chase them up.
Apart from that I am still learning more and more about the Buddhist approach to recovery /life. I'm going to have a go at a new, more advanced mindfulness technique tonight. I do find it quite difficult to concentrate as my mind wanders off all over the place, but I am told that with plenty of practice this does improve greatly.
One of the things I have been enjoying about sobriety this time round is catching up on tv shows /series I have wanted to watch for ages. I have been watching a couple of episodes of American Horror Story a night, which I must say is very entertaining and funny in places. Next on my list is Star Trek - the next generation (all 7 or so seasons of it!). I'm a big trekkie and I've heard very good things. Still don't think it will trump my love for the original series though, even though I was nowhere near born at the time!
Still going strong! Been on a bit of a downer today, but instead of letting it define me or acting on it, im just allowing it to be. I've got lots of things to be frustrated about at the moment so I don't think it's unusual at all, it's just life. The more I train my brain to accept life the better I will be able to adapt to future situations.
I have been waiting for work to contact me as I put in a request for a staggered return of no more than 3 days a week for a while. I feel I am ready for that now. Frustratingly, they have not responded to my request, and I'm not going back until something has been agreed by me, so I'm in a bit of limbo at the moment. The positive thing being that the longer they delay, the more time I have to work on myself and potentially look for abother job I might enjoy more. The negative being money and lack of peace of mind. If I don't hear anything by the end of this week I'll chase them up.
Apart from that I am still learning more and more about the Buddhist approach to recovery /life. I'm going to have a go at a new, more advanced mindfulness technique tonight. I do find it quite difficult to concentrate as my mind wanders off all over the place, but I am told that with plenty of practice this does improve greatly.
One of the things I have been enjoying about sobriety this time round is catching up on tv shows /series I have wanted to watch for ages. I have been watching a couple of episodes of American Horror Story a night, which I must say is very entertaining and funny in places. Next on my list is Star Trek - the next generation (all 7 or so seasons of it!). I'm a big trekkie and I've heard very good things. Still don't think it will trump my love for the original series though, even though I was nowhere near born at the time!
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Day 38.
Still going strong. No real urges the past few days. Any thoughts of drinking are quickly and immediately dealt with, usually along with some choice words to my AV.
Happy to be spending Saturday night sober and watching some tv shows. It's great to be able to watch a series and actually remember what happened the previous night!
B
Still going strong. No real urges the past few days. Any thoughts of drinking are quickly and immediately dealt with, usually along with some choice words to my AV.
Happy to be spending Saturday night sober and watching some tv shows. It's great to be able to watch a series and actually remember what happened the previous night!
B
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by BringingBackB
Day 38.
Still going strong. No real urges the past few days. Any thoughts of drinking are quickly and immediately delete with, usually along with some choice words to my AV.
Happy to be spending Saturday night sober and watching some tv shows. It's great to be able to watch a series and actually remember what happened the previous night!
B
Still going strong. No real urges the past few days. Any thoughts of drinking are quickly and immediately delete with, usually along with some choice words to my AV.
Happy to be spending Saturday night sober and watching some tv shows. It's great to be able to watch a series and actually remember what happened the previous night!
B
Good stuff, BBB.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Bit of an emotional wobbler this morning!
Im still waiting for work decide on if they will let me have a phased return. I did just have a brief though about just going in tomorrow and seeing what happened. A panic attack ensued pretty quickly. I don't think I could go back with that sort of uncertainty, I think some sort of return needs to be agreed first for my mental health. I'm gathering the courage to be a bit more forceful this coming week to try and get something in place for my eventual return.
Trying to remind myself that it's important yo take things slowly, as little changes in my surroundings are still bringing about wild swings in my mindset. Now I've properly thought it through, it would be a silly idea to just go in tomorrow with nothing agreed.
Im still waiting for work decide on if they will let me have a phased return. I did just have a brief though about just going in tomorrow and seeing what happened. A panic attack ensued pretty quickly. I don't think I could go back with that sort of uncertainty, I think some sort of return needs to be agreed first for my mental health. I'm gathering the courage to be a bit more forceful this coming week to try and get something in place for my eventual return.
Trying to remind myself that it's important yo take things slowly, as little changes in my surroundings are still bringing about wild swings in my mindset. Now I've properly thought it through, it would be a silly idea to just go in tomorrow with nothing agreed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Try to not worry about the work situation. Have faith that things will work out for the best and just concentrate on what you are doing right now.
Who knows? You may find an even better job that works out much better.
I agree that you shouldn't just go in tomorrow.
Who knows? You may find an even better job that works out much better.
I agree that you shouldn't just go in tomorrow.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Day 42. Over 6 weeks sober now
I sent a letter into work yesterday asking somebody to contact me regarding a phased return as this is getting ridiculous now. It will have arrived this morning so I'm nervous about having to speak to my boss on the phone, but it's normal to be scared in this situation, it's nothung abnormal or particularly unpleasant.
Other than that I'm still going strong, no prominent drinking urges, despite being in the city twice already this week, surrounded by people drinking in the sunshine. I ptactically balked in favour of my Dr Pepper.
There was a very interesting program on BBC radio 4 yesterday about drinking habits (focused mainly on older people). People were phoning in to discuss their drinking, some who had cut down and felt much better, and one woman in particular who had just retired, drank 3 bottles of wine a day (starting at breakfast) and claimed she wasn't addicted to alcohol. The archetypal in denial character!
Here's the link, it may not work for USA folk, but is definitely worth a listen if it does:
BBC Radio 4 - You and Yours, Call You and Yours: Are you drinking more than is good for you?
I sent a letter into work yesterday asking somebody to contact me regarding a phased return as this is getting ridiculous now. It will have arrived this morning so I'm nervous about having to speak to my boss on the phone, but it's normal to be scared in this situation, it's nothung abnormal or particularly unpleasant.
Other than that I'm still going strong, no prominent drinking urges, despite being in the city twice already this week, surrounded by people drinking in the sunshine. I ptactically balked in favour of my Dr Pepper.
There was a very interesting program on BBC radio 4 yesterday about drinking habits (focused mainly on older people). People were phoning in to discuss their drinking, some who had cut down and felt much better, and one woman in particular who had just retired, drank 3 bottles of wine a day (starting at breakfast) and claimed she wasn't addicted to alcohol. The archetypal in denial character!
Here's the link, it may not work for USA folk, but is definitely worth a listen if it does:
BBC Radio 4 - You and Yours, Call You and Yours: Are you drinking more than is good for you?
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Day 44.
Still no contact from work despite the letter. No idea what they're planning, maybe nothing, but the fear of the unknown isn't very nice. Still, I've done my bit in trying to contact them.
I am filling my days nevertheless with exercise, reading and focusing on recovery. I have just finished the latest novel I have been reading - Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter's, The Long Earth, which I thought was wonderful. Exactly the escapism I need at the moment
Despite the work stress, still no strong urges or cravings. I have vivid memories of withdrawal to bring up at a moments notice when I feel tempted, it seems to have worked so far.
Overall I'd say I'm pretty frustrated today as I started thinking about work, but my anxiety and depression levels are completely manageable which is all I can ask. I am sleeping and eating well too. Hopefully it will all get sorted soon so I can continue to move forward, however that may be.
Enjoy the weekend everyone. I'm off to see my mother tomorrow, she's broken multiple fingers after only just recovering from a broken ankle!
B
Still no contact from work despite the letter. No idea what they're planning, maybe nothing, but the fear of the unknown isn't very nice. Still, I've done my bit in trying to contact them.
I am filling my days nevertheless with exercise, reading and focusing on recovery. I have just finished the latest novel I have been reading - Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter's, The Long Earth, which I thought was wonderful. Exactly the escapism I need at the moment
Despite the work stress, still no strong urges or cravings. I have vivid memories of withdrawal to bring up at a moments notice when I feel tempted, it seems to have worked so far.
Overall I'd say I'm pretty frustrated today as I started thinking about work, but my anxiety and depression levels are completely manageable which is all I can ask. I am sleeping and eating well too. Hopefully it will all get sorted soon so I can continue to move forward, however that may be.
Enjoy the weekend everyone. I'm off to see my mother tomorrow, she's broken multiple fingers after only just recovering from a broken ankle!
B
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Day 47 almost over with now.
Starting to feel more and more comfortable with the notion of never drinking again now. It's turning into the notion now of never wanting to drink again either. Very few urges over the past week or so, but I am remaining vigilant I'm anticipation of them.
I am also making a conscious effort to not step off the gas recovery wise. Tomorrow I see my MH practitioner. I have also been reading more recovery literature which I hope to put into practice alongside the SMART tools (atm RR and Refuge Recovery).
Nothing from work still! I have a much more firm letter to send in if I still don't hear anything this coming week.
All in all I am good.
Starting to feel more and more comfortable with the notion of never drinking again now. It's turning into the notion now of never wanting to drink again either. Very few urges over the past week or so, but I am remaining vigilant I'm anticipation of them.
I am also making a conscious effort to not step off the gas recovery wise. Tomorrow I see my MH practitioner. I have also been reading more recovery literature which I hope to put into practice alongside the SMART tools (atm RR and Refuge Recovery).
Nothing from work still! I have a much more firm letter to send in if I still don't hear anything this coming week.
All in all I am good.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
