Observations of My First Week of IOP
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Observations of My First Week of IOP
I started Monday from 10am-1pm 3 days a week, I chose M/W/F. This is for substance abuse of all kinds grouped together.
1) there are a huge quantity of recovering addicts in this world, and so many much worse off than myself
2) there are also a lot of immature recovering addicts who I feel are taking on this behavior so they don't have to be an adult...that is they don't want to leave home and don't want to further their education or get a job...too much work
3) the recovery business needs to better analyze their customers and place them in the proper program (if there even is one)
4) I'm looking for the tools to continue my life abstinent of alcohol without having to make drastic changes in how I live my life, and I'm not sure they can supply me with the tools or if this is even possible
5) After today's one on one session with my therapist, I've agreed to give the program one more full week and then examine my options...I'm trying to maintain my objectivity and optimism
6) I feel like an outsider because almost the entire group chain smokes cigarettes every break (another addiction) (I don't smoke)
I have been very upfront, outgoing and participating every session.
Am I expecting too much from my IOP? Am I being too judgmental of others?
(I thought a long time about not posting this before I posted it...help me understand this IOP process and tell me if it helped you)
1) there are a huge quantity of recovering addicts in this world, and so many much worse off than myself
2) there are also a lot of immature recovering addicts who I feel are taking on this behavior so they don't have to be an adult...that is they don't want to leave home and don't want to further their education or get a job...too much work
3) the recovery business needs to better analyze their customers and place them in the proper program (if there even is one)
4) I'm looking for the tools to continue my life abstinent of alcohol without having to make drastic changes in how I live my life, and I'm not sure they can supply me with the tools or if this is even possible
5) After today's one on one session with my therapist, I've agreed to give the program one more full week and then examine my options...I'm trying to maintain my objectivity and optimism
6) I feel like an outsider because almost the entire group chain smokes cigarettes every break (another addiction) (I don't smoke)
I have been very upfront, outgoing and participating every session.
Am I expecting too much from my IOP? Am I being too judgmental of others?
(I thought a long time about not posting this before I posted it...help me understand this IOP process and tell me if it helped you)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It's always positive adding another resource to our recovery plan, I've no real advice or experience to share though, but as I say it can't be a bad thing!!
Keep pushing through with your recovery Toadie!!
Keep pushing through with your recovery Toadie!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
One thing that has helped me in the recovery process this time is to do my best to stop looking for the differences others have from me and start looking for the similarities. There are going to be all different kinds of folks in any group therapy situation--some people choose to go there willingly, some have an obligation to go because of a legal snafu and they do or don't want to be there, some are being pressured into going because of their family. But you're all addicts. Try to find the common ground there. I'm a naturally judgmental person myself, and it's still hard for me sometimes to let go of my early opinions of people I meet. Something I'm definitely working on today.
My suggestion is to keep going--even if you only get one recovery tool out of the entire program, it's giving you some good, orderly structure to adhere to in early sobriety/recovery. It's helping you build accountability to yourself and to others. Maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the weekends, you could try AA or another recovery program out as well?
Look closely at your motivations for wanting to possibly leave the program--is this your addiction trying to sweet talk you by saying you're not as bad as/different than these other people, that this program really isn't your thing?
I've only been to IOP once and it was 10 years ago and was a mandatory part of my probation after my DWI. I loved it but ended up not finishing the program because my probation officer dropped the paperwork ball and I was released from probation early (and thus not eligible for the IOP) even though I'd specifically requested and supposedly been approved to have my probation extended until the end of the IOP program. I went out drinking shortly after this. It was embarrassing in the years after that to run into other people I'd been in that IOP with out at various bars or house parties.
I do appreciate your honesty and sharing here. Wishing you the best today...
My suggestion is to keep going--even if you only get one recovery tool out of the entire program, it's giving you some good, orderly structure to adhere to in early sobriety/recovery. It's helping you build accountability to yourself and to others. Maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the weekends, you could try AA or another recovery program out as well?
Look closely at your motivations for wanting to possibly leave the program--is this your addiction trying to sweet talk you by saying you're not as bad as/different than these other people, that this program really isn't your thing?
I've only been to IOP once and it was 10 years ago and was a mandatory part of my probation after my DWI. I loved it but ended up not finishing the program because my probation officer dropped the paperwork ball and I was released from probation early (and thus not eligible for the IOP) even though I'd specifically requested and supposedly been approved to have my probation extended until the end of the IOP program. I went out drinking shortly after this. It was embarrassing in the years after that to run into other people I'd been in that IOP with out at various bars or house parties.
I do appreciate your honesty and sharing here. Wishing you the best today...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,493
Originally Posted by toadie54 
4) I'm looking for the tools to continue my life abstinent of alcohol without having to make drastic changes in how I live my life, and I'm not sure they can supply me with the tools or if this is even possible)
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
"Am I expecting too much from my IOP? Am I being too judgmental of others?"
Yes, I went through IOP, and felt the same way in my first week or so. I soon realized that my recovery was MINE, and I had to take ownershi of it.
If I failed I could blame anything, if I failed no matter what I blamed it on it was still my failure.
I embraced my recovery, did what I was told, became a perfect student, developed a plan. I worked the plan, and soon stuff started to happen, good stuff, and I kept going....
.....and I keep going, and I love my life, I love me, I embraced humility when I recognized surrender was not defeat, it was victory.
I began with all the same negativity you describe, exactly, each little detail, I was judgemental, all that stuff; but once I realized that I wanted to be sober, and was willing to go to any lengths to get there, things weren't so bad, and they just keep getting better....
.....so keep going, don't expect an overnight miracle, but expect the best from yourself, and give it, and pretty soon you'll be detox'd and on the other side of the road...and IOP won't necassarily be a good memory, but it will be something you realize got your train on the track and you'll be grateful you did it.
IOP got me sober, I keep me sober!
Yes, I went through IOP, and felt the same way in my first week or so. I soon realized that my recovery was MINE, and I had to take ownershi of it.
If I failed I could blame anything, if I failed no matter what I blamed it on it was still my failure.
I embraced my recovery, did what I was told, became a perfect student, developed a plan. I worked the plan, and soon stuff started to happen, good stuff, and I kept going....
.....and I keep going, and I love my life, I love me, I embraced humility when I recognized surrender was not defeat, it was victory.
I began with all the same negativity you describe, exactly, each little detail, I was judgemental, all that stuff; but once I realized that I wanted to be sober, and was willing to go to any lengths to get there, things weren't so bad, and they just keep getting better....
.....so keep going, don't expect an overnight miracle, but expect the best from yourself, and give it, and pretty soon you'll be detox'd and on the other side of the road...and IOP won't necassarily be a good memory, but it will be something you realize got your train on the track and you'll be grateful you did it.
IOP got me sober, I keep me sober!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
It's often the process of participating in treatment, cooperating with your recovery, and not the place, the people or the expertise of the staff that makes the difference except, of course, in extreme cases. Action trumps thinking, ruminating and fantasy. You've spent years drinking, ruining what's good in your life. A week in which you've focused on what's wrong with your treatment...Is that the best way to measure what it is that you actually need to get sober? How does any of us know what's best for us, what we actually need to get sober, when we've spent years and decades destroying our lives with our drinking? I'm adamant about a few things that I've learned in my life, in my sober life, and one is that we only understand our lives and ourselves in retrospect, by looking backwards, but that life can only be lived by moving forward. You can wait until you've put together some sober time in order to assess what worked for you. I got sober by getting as much help as I could get, as I could afford, as I could bear. Looking back, I can't tell you that it's any one thing that helped me to achieve sobriety, but I can tell you that nothing I did made things worse for me.
Alcoholics tend to look at what's wrong with or what's missing from any particular type of treatment for the very simple reason that there is a strong part of us that does not want to stop drinking, no matter how much we may convince ourselves that this is not the case. When we drink, many of us tend to focus on what's missing in our lives, what's wrong with life and other people generally, what's not available to us that would otherwise make us happy, or at least that which we convince ourselves would make us happy in a way that we wouldn't resort to drinking. "Anyone else who has to face the pain and suffering that I've suffered and continue to suffer would drink the way that I do."
You'll often hear or read that "AA is not for me." AA is not for anyone who is an alcoholic. It (and any other treatment or program for alcoholism) threatens the very lifestyle with which we've become most familiar, with which we've come to rely upon, and which we hang onto regardless of the fact that it's killing us. The subtext reads, "Sobriety is not for me," and we're willing to go to any lengths to prove this. Treatment for alcoholism is not for people who aren't alcoholics because they don't need it. And it's not for people who are alcoholics because it threatens our alcoholism
Do what you need to do. The choice is and always has been yours.
Alcoholics tend to look at what's wrong with or what's missing from any particular type of treatment for the very simple reason that there is a strong part of us that does not want to stop drinking, no matter how much we may convince ourselves that this is not the case. When we drink, many of us tend to focus on what's missing in our lives, what's wrong with life and other people generally, what's not available to us that would otherwise make us happy, or at least that which we convince ourselves would make us happy in a way that we wouldn't resort to drinking. "Anyone else who has to face the pain and suffering that I've suffered and continue to suffer would drink the way that I do."
You'll often hear or read that "AA is not for me." AA is not for anyone who is an alcoholic. It (and any other treatment or program for alcoholism) threatens the very lifestyle with which we've become most familiar, with which we've come to rely upon, and which we hang onto regardless of the fact that it's killing us. The subtext reads, "Sobriety is not for me," and we're willing to go to any lengths to prove this. Treatment for alcoholism is not for people who aren't alcoholics because they don't need it. And it's not for people who are alcoholics because it threatens our alcoholism
Do what you need to do. The choice is and always has been yours.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
During the first week or two of my IOP I had similar feelings and even wondered if I belonged there. As I relaxed and started really listening and thinking about the material we covered, I realized that I was benefitting. If nothing else, I wasn't going to drink during the IOP and we got tested at each meeting for alcohol and drugs. Do it effectively provided a great incentive to stay sober for the 3 months that the program lasted. My program also required attendance at a minimum number of AA meetings each week that gradually increased as number of weekly IOP sessions decreased. That also helped.
I wouldn't make any decisions until you are at least 3 or 4 weeks in. I found myself really working on it by that point.
I wouldn't make any decisions until you are at least 3 or 4 weeks in. I found myself really working on it by that point.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I can't help you with IOP experience, but like Anna I found change was mandatory.
My old life was all about drinking,. It had to go.
The real me I was rediscovering needed a life that better reflected who new me was?
I've never regretted the changes
D
My old life was all about drinking,. It had to go.
The real me I was rediscovering needed a life that better reflected who new me was?
I've never regretted the changes
D
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
I think I'll just stay with the SA program for now.
My counselor suggested maybe I look at their DBT program (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). She explained it to me and let me have the workbook binder they use for the 8 week program to review the information.
Upon review I don't feel it is what I'm looking for or what I need at this point.
I truly appreciate everyone's perspectives and observations here...thanks!
Does anyone here know more or have any opinions on a DBT program?
My counselor suggested maybe I look at their DBT program (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). She explained it to me and let me have the workbook binder they use for the 8 week program to review the information.
Upon review I don't feel it is what I'm looking for or what I need at this point.
I truly appreciate everyone's perspectives and observations here...thanks!
Does anyone here know more or have any opinions on a DBT program?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
I tried an IOP for a couple of weeks then quit.
I'm a "garden variety" alcoholic, who has never gotten a DUI, never lost a job, never lost a spouse, etc. (of course if I had continued drinking I was eligible to have all of those things happen). I was voluntarily attending looking to get help with my alcoholism.
Everyone in my IOP group had much more serious issues. Things like heavy drug use (a lot of meth), serious felony charges with impending court appearances, other serious legal consequences, unemployment, no place to live (and the women usually had little kids) etc.
The group tended to focus on these issues, which in a way were much bigger than mine. I couldn't relate. I realized after a couple of weeks that the aftercare recommendation for me would be to attend AA. I quit the IOP and just skipped ahead to the AA part, that was a good decision for me.
I'm a "garden variety" alcoholic, who has never gotten a DUI, never lost a job, never lost a spouse, etc. (of course if I had continued drinking I was eligible to have all of those things happen). I was voluntarily attending looking to get help with my alcoholism.
Everyone in my IOP group had much more serious issues. Things like heavy drug use (a lot of meth), serious felony charges with impending court appearances, other serious legal consequences, unemployment, no place to live (and the women usually had little kids) etc.
The group tended to focus on these issues, which in a way were much bigger than mine. I couldn't relate. I realized after a couple of weeks that the aftercare recommendation for me would be to attend AA. I quit the IOP and just skipped ahead to the AA part, that was a good decision for me.
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Zebra, I relate closely to your analysis of your own situation, we are very similar in the severity of the addiction.
My program is all voluntary participants, this facility does not take court ordered addicts.
I still think I'll try to complete the 8 weeks, but time will tell.
Thanks for posting.
My program is all voluntary participants, this facility does not take court ordered addicts.
I still think I'll try to complete the 8 weeks, but time will tell.
Thanks for posting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Here are my thoughts:
I tried AA before. I didn't fit in. Call me an elitist snob, but I felt the same way you did. I was bad, but highly functional. I am highly functional when I have to be, er, up until last week when I finally was forced by my husband to get to ER.
I know what you mean. Some people are there because the court has ordered them to be. In the break room, it was just assumed I had a DUI (I've gotten lucky). Some people seemed to be joking around about things and for others, it's there fourth or fifth time there. It's almost like a reunion. I had many of the same thoughts as you did. In the first group, we had a motivational speaker, but it wasn't very intelligible. He is definitely sober, but I felt it was a waste of time. I liked it better when the moderator (therapist-not sure of the title) was speaking. Then came the point where people went on and on giving each other bad advice and almost joking about habits. There were some serious people. At that point, I kept looking at the clock.
After this, things got better. We did a worksheet which asked how our past informs our present decisions, and how to act and not react like a snake. The third session was CBT and I've posted about that. That's what convinced me to stay and continue.
I'm also liking the one and one time as well. I need something right now, and I'm not someone who just settles, but yes, I understand. The people had lost jobs, not showed up to work, gotten busted on job drunk, crashed into poles, etc. I really don't have much in common with anyone. I never drank on the job, was careful not to drive, but other than that, I still have the same addiction and I'm going to stick it out for now. Please update and feel free to PM me.
I tried AA before. I didn't fit in. Call me an elitist snob, but I felt the same way you did. I was bad, but highly functional. I am highly functional when I have to be, er, up until last week when I finally was forced by my husband to get to ER.
I know what you mean. Some people are there because the court has ordered them to be. In the break room, it was just assumed I had a DUI (I've gotten lucky). Some people seemed to be joking around about things and for others, it's there fourth or fifth time there. It's almost like a reunion. I had many of the same thoughts as you did. In the first group, we had a motivational speaker, but it wasn't very intelligible. He is definitely sober, but I felt it was a waste of time. I liked it better when the moderator (therapist-not sure of the title) was speaking. Then came the point where people went on and on giving each other bad advice and almost joking about habits. There were some serious people. At that point, I kept looking at the clock.
After this, things got better. We did a worksheet which asked how our past informs our present decisions, and how to act and not react like a snake. The third session was CBT and I've posted about that. That's what convinced me to stay and continue.
I'm also liking the one and one time as well. I need something right now, and I'm not someone who just settles, but yes, I understand. The people had lost jobs, not showed up to work, gotten busted on job drunk, crashed into poles, etc. I really don't have much in common with anyone. I never drank on the job, was careful not to drive, but other than that, I still have the same addiction and I'm going to stick it out for now. Please update and feel free to PM me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
I also did not have any legal problems, etc and was put off by my IOP group at first. It improved as I got to know them better and I did get a good deal out of it. Our discussion time was carefully managed by the addiction counsellors leading the group so it wasn't too off-putting.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Drunks have everything in common with other drunks. The only difference is where on the continuum your disease has progressed to.
Alcoholism is progressive and fatal, it only gets worse. It starts with the first drink and ends when it kills us. In AA we talk about the YETS . We haven't had a DUI, lost marriage, serious health problems, lost job, or the other multitude of alcohol induced problems.....YET.
You may wish to lookup the term "Terminal Uniqueness."
I know hundreds of alcoholics and we are far more similar than we are different. Are the people that have had more problems than you any less sober or not fighting the same battle to stay sober you are?
You will find that there are no tools to maintain your current life and remain sober. Recovery requires systemic change. Your whole view of yourself, the world, and your interaction with it will require transformation.
Alcoholism is progressive and fatal, it only gets worse. It starts with the first drink and ends when it kills us. In AA we talk about the YETS . We haven't had a DUI, lost marriage, serious health problems, lost job, or the other multitude of alcohol induced problems.....YET.
You may wish to lookup the term "Terminal Uniqueness."
I know hundreds of alcoholics and we are far more similar than we are different. Are the people that have had more problems than you any less sober or not fighting the same battle to stay sober you are?
You will find that there are no tools to maintain your current life and remain sober. Recovery requires systemic change. Your whole view of yourself, the world, and your interaction with it will require transformation.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
Drunks have everything in common with other drunks. The only difference is where on the continuum your disease has progressed to.
Alcoholism is progressive and fatal, it only gets worse. It starts with the first drink and ends when it kills us. In AA we talk about the YETS . We haven't had a DUI, lost marriage, serious health problems, lost job, or the other multitude of alcohol induced problems.....YET.
You may wish to lookup the term "Terminal Uniqueness."
I know hundreds of alcoholics and we are far more similar than we are different. Are the people that have had more problems than you any less sober or not fighting the same battle to stay sober you are?
You will find that there are no tools to maintain your current life and remain sober. Recovery requires systemic change. Your whole view of yourself, the world, and your interaction with it will require transformation.
Alcoholism is progressive and fatal, it only gets worse. It starts with the first drink and ends when it kills us. In AA we talk about the YETS . We haven't had a DUI, lost marriage, serious health problems, lost job, or the other multitude of alcohol induced problems.....YET.
You may wish to lookup the term "Terminal Uniqueness."
I know hundreds of alcoholics and we are far more similar than we are different. Are the people that have had more problems than you any less sober or not fighting the same battle to stay sober you are?
You will find that there are no tools to maintain your current life and remain sober. Recovery requires systemic change. Your whole view of yourself, the world, and your interaction with it will require transformation.
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Somehow I've missed some of the discussion here until now!
Thanks all for taking the time to share your thoughts.
My program is made up of all voluntary people, none court appointed...and yes, some have "volunteered" but mainly to look good in their upcoming court appearances.
Glad to hear some of you who I call "on the lower end of the addiction scale" (like myself) are experiencing the same things I am, and that you feel continuing with IOP has helped you, it gives me some hope.
I'm only on day 17 here today, and only 3 sessions in on my IOP program so much more to cover from here going forward.
Stay safe!
Thanks all for taking the time to share your thoughts.
My program is made up of all voluntary people, none court appointed...and yes, some have "volunteered" but mainly to look good in their upcoming court appearances.
Glad to hear some of you who I call "on the lower end of the addiction scale" (like myself) are experiencing the same things I am, and that you feel continuing with IOP has helped you, it gives me some hope.
I'm only on day 17 here today, and only 3 sessions in on my IOP program so much more to cover from here going forward.
Stay safe!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by toadie54
4) I'm looking for the tools to continue my life abstinent of alcohol without having to make drastic changes in how I live my life, and I'm not sure they can supply me with the tools or if this is even possible
Originally Posted by Anna
I, personally, do not believe you can stop drinking and make minimal changes in your life and recover. I had to change my thinking completely. I needed to deal with the underlying issues of why I used alcohol to cope, and I needed to find healthy ways to get through life.
Not picking on the OP but what Anna posts here is so very important. I read a lot of posts/threads from newcomers or not so newcomers who relay only their issue with if they drank or not.
Change of who we are, how we think and react, our perceptions of the world, how we engage our fellow man - for most of us HAS to change.
The thought for me that I can do everything the same, sans booze, is folly.
For those who struggle, many of us recognized that alcohol was the symptom of those struggles. Take away alcohol and we still struggle.
If you don't think change is necessary and compelling - ask the butterfly what it was like trapped in that cocoon.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
I also recently started IOP voluntarily. I can relate to the smoking thing but I just look at it in a positive way. One more bad habit I don't need to break. My program has all types of addiction present and is equally focused on mental issues like anxiety and depression. Instead of looking at differences between myself and others I am looking for similarities and trying to get the most out of it. I needed something more intensive to jump start my recovery.
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