I Feel Like A Hypocrite
 

I had a customer come into work yesterday, completely out of it. She admitted she was on a lot of pain meds. Her behavior was extremely inappropriate (tried to pull down her pants to show me her surgical scars and insisted that I look at the incision on her breast that the doctor made to lance a cyst). She made a mess out of my store (brought in coffee and spilled it, wandered around with merchandise and left it in random places in the shop) and was asking the same questions over and over. She also stunk to high heaven. I finally had to throw her out of the store because it was like dealing with a middle-aged baby. There was no way to rein her in.

Anyway, I noticed that she DROVE to my shop. Her car was parked about 8 feet away from the concrete slab in the parking space. It took her forever to get the key in the ignition and figure out where reverse was- you get the picture of how this scene went.

I called the police to report her. I explained that she admitted to being under the influence of pills. I detailed her behavior. Luckily, she told me she was off to the grocery store next, so I was able to tell the police where she was headed.

I feel like a hypocrite. I could have been reported to the police ridiculous amounts of times for driving drunk. Out of sheer luck, I was never stopped. By miracles, I never hurt or killed anyone while under the influence. I just feel like how dare I rat someone out, even out of concern for public safety, when I was guilty of the same behavior years ago?

If she had gone on to accidentally kill someone by driving in that state you would feel even worse. Your actions in the past do not stop it being the right decision.

You did the right thing.

You made mistakes in the past as did I and many others here. That doesn't mean we should ignore a situation such as the one you described.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I agree... you did the right thing.

Yes, ^^^^ - what Anna said.

There are so many sick people out there
in the world and don't even know it. Addiction
to meds, drugs, alcohol any kind of controlled
substance takes a hold of them, just like it did
me and like me I didn't know until it was just
about too late.

However, because I like so many who
are learning about addiction and are
taught some sort of helpful program
of recovery as a guideline in helping
us to remain sober or clean one day
at a time, we can be one voice amongst
many to attract the ones still sick into
getting help, like we did.

If we who found a way to remain sober
or clean and never shared our own ESH -
our experiences, strengths and hopes of
what our lives were and are like before,
during and after addiction, then how will
others that are still sick know if living a
recovery life actually works.

These sick and ill folks need us who are
passionate about our recovery life to
know that there is help, so much help
available to them to help them find this
solution to get healthy and happy in all
areas of their life.

I know I was rambling a bit here, but like
you, by the Grace of my HP that could
still be me today if family hadn't intervened
on me 24 yrs ago and allowed me to remain
in rehab for 28 days to pick up the knowledge
of a recovery program to guide me along in
my own journey in life.

I have to keep those sick folks in prayer
and hope that they receive help sometime
soon.

Thank you for sharing and letting me know
that alcohol and drugs are still kicking azz
big time out there and that it hasn't changed. :)

Imagine if you had heard she'd knocked down and killed a kid . . . how would you feel then?!!

My point being this was the better way forward!!

I was trying to figure out why I made a big deal over doing what was obviously the right thing. It was bothering me enough to write about it here and get a reality check from all of you (thanks!).

I realized that this is more about the guilt/shame/remorse that I feel for engaging in the same dangerous behavior as that woman. In a weird way, it was almost like I was saying that it wasn't okay for her to drive under the influence, but it was okay all the times I did it. That led to me thinking, "Hey wait a minute- you never thought when you did it that it was okay!".

It is ok to forgive yourself and still know it was wrong.

No more guilt, remorse or shame because
you, we, I am living a responsible life in
recovery. :)

RESPONSIBLE member in recovery, a wife,
mother, worker, student, grandparent, athlete,
father, boss and so on.

You did the right thing. Period. You might have prevented something terrible.

There is nothing hypocritical about what you did. You did the right thing for the right reason.

You did the right thing. You would feel a whole lot worse had she killed someone by driving in that condition. :(

You did exactly what you should have done!!! You may have saved someone's life!

I have wandered around my neighbourhood drunk out of my mind on several occasions. walked into bars too incoherent to even order a drink, passed out in alleyways etc. I was never driving but if I was I would hope someone would report me before someone gets killed and I go off for 10 years in prison. A DUI is much preferable to a charge of vehicular homicide. You did the right thing

You may have saved her life or someone else's Yankee.

For many years I did not do the right thing, now I know better.
I sleep well :)

D

Hi Yankee
I feel your conflict but agree with re rest of the crew here.
I sometimes wish someone had reported me.....
In addition to preventing her from hurting others you might have created a catalyst for her to change. You never know.
Happy weekend
D

I am also simultaneously grateful and ashamed of my past. Grateful nobody was hurt, but hugely ashamed I drove drunk. I was completely ashamed at the time, too, I just couldn't stop.

That said, there's nothing hypocritical about doing the right thing. It's not like you were smug about it, or belittled her. She needed to be taken off the road. I'd like to think when I was at my worst, I was hunkered down in the house for the night. I was terrified of hurting someone. I hate to think of that time in my life. But we have to do the next right thing now, it keeps us sober, which in turn keeps others safe. You did the right thing.

You never know, this might be enough to make her stop and get the help she needs. You might have saved her.

You're not a hypocrite. No way, no how.