Triggered
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Triggered
Ok, it seems my first real challenge has come up. I have the next 3 days off and feel like going on a binge. I'm 2 weeks and 1 day sober today and want tomorrow to be 2 weeks and 2 days.
Even though I feel like doing it, I really don't want to. A moment ago when it appeared, I got up and got some water. That helped. Now it's a lot less strong but still there.
I'm posting this to get it out of me and to get advice on a situation like this. This afternoon I have an appointment after which the urge to drink will be the strongest, since that used to be my pattern. Relief from the appointment, a couple of days off, it's one of the heaviest moments. It would feel so good to go to the store and get beer.
I am stubborn though. I know I will not do it, but the AV is making me doubt. And rationalize. I can think of all the misery it will give me, but the AV is rationalizing that away.
Ok, just told it to shut up. I'm doing this for me and everyone I care about. It will pass. I will be happy tomorrow if I wake up sober.
I will not do it.
Ok, I need some distraction. I think I'm going for a walk and focus on how enjoyable everything is without alcohol. And miserable it used to be with.
Even though I feel like doing it, I really don't want to. A moment ago when it appeared, I got up and got some water. That helped. Now it's a lot less strong but still there.
I'm posting this to get it out of me and to get advice on a situation like this. This afternoon I have an appointment after which the urge to drink will be the strongest, since that used to be my pattern. Relief from the appointment, a couple of days off, it's one of the heaviest moments. It would feel so good to go to the store and get beer.
I am stubborn though. I know I will not do it, but the AV is making me doubt. And rationalize. I can think of all the misery it will give me, but the AV is rationalizing that away.
Ok, just told it to shut up. I'm doing this for me and everyone I care about. It will pass. I will be happy tomorrow if I wake up sober.
I will not do it.
Ok, I need some distraction. I think I'm going for a walk and focus on how enjoyable everything is without alcohol. And miserable it used to be with.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Jerry it helped me to remember that a thought is a thought and nothing more. AV will nag and nag, you will be triggered, neither can be avoided but your reaction to those things is another matter. That you can control.
Good job on getting the water. Before you go to the appointment try writing down reasons you want to be sober, then think about what you can do to help yourself stay sober. For instance when will you eat? What will you eat? What small reward can you have for not drinking? What are you going to do instead of drinking .... you get the idea.
You can do it.
Good job on getting the water. Before you go to the appointment try writing down reasons you want to be sober, then think about what you can do to help yourself stay sober. For instance when will you eat? What will you eat? What small reward can you have for not drinking? What are you going to do instead of drinking .... you get the idea.
You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Originally Posted by Marcher13 
Jerry it helped me to remember that a thought is a thought and nothing more. AV will nag and nag, you will be triggered, neither can be avoided but your reaction to those things is another matter. That you can control.
Good job on getting the water. Before you go to the appointment try writing down reasons you want to be sober, then think about what you can do to help yourself stay sober. For instance when will you eat? What will you eat? What small reward can you have for not drinking? What are you going to do instead of drinking .... you get the idea.
You can do it.
Good job on getting the water. Before you go to the appointment try writing down reasons you want to be sober, then think about what you can do to help yourself stay sober. For instance when will you eat? What will you eat? What small reward can you have for not drinking? What are you going to do instead of drinking .... you get the idea.
You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Originally Posted by Peacehappyness
Hi Jerry, is there anything else you can arrange to do after your appointment? Something distracting like the movies maybe?Try to fill up the rest of the day if you can and if you can make some plans for the weekend that should help a lot. Free empty time during the kind of times we used to drink in are lethal. Best to try to fill them up as much as possible at the beginning. Glue yourself to SR if you have to!
Peace x
Peace x
It's the moment after the appointment that will remain an empty spot. I have nothing I can do then. My plan is to rush straight back home and log on here.
I'll be back later, I need some movement and distraction.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
One of the great things about these forums, Jerry, is that they're open 24/7. Keep checking in as often as possible, and remember that you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what.
You're in my thoughts and prayers...
You're in my thoughts and prayers...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it.
Tomorrow will be 2 weeks and 2 days.
Something changed before the appointment. I noticed that I was thinking about the beer section in the supermarket with a strong feeling of wanting to drink. It was the only thing on my mind. But then I snapped out of it. I thought: "What am I thinking? I don't drink." The thoughts and feeling got set aside and I felt a lot better. After that they went away just like my previous two cravings.
After that I just went about my day and forgot all about drinking. It was odd. I even did groceries and didn't even notice the alcohol section while I walked right by it.
After the appointment it was different as well. I wasn't even thinking about drinking. There were a couple of things I needed to do and I just got home. It wasn't until I remembered this forum that I had wanted to drink.
Right now I'm fine. Still no desire to drink. Looking forward to a good night's sleep and recovering more.
Again, thanks everyone, it really helped.
Tomorrow will be 2 weeks and 2 days.
Something changed before the appointment. I noticed that I was thinking about the beer section in the supermarket with a strong feeling of wanting to drink. It was the only thing on my mind. But then I snapped out of it. I thought: "What am I thinking? I don't drink." The thoughts and feeling got set aside and I felt a lot better. After that they went away just like my previous two cravings.
After that I just went about my day and forgot all about drinking. It was odd. I even did groceries and didn't even notice the alcohol section while I walked right by it.
After the appointment it was different as well. I wasn't even thinking about drinking. There were a couple of things I needed to do and I just got home. It wasn't until I remembered this forum that I had wanted to drink.
Right now I'm fine. Still no desire to drink. Looking forward to a good night's sleep and recovering more.
Again, thanks everyone, it really helped.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
That is part of the subtle and persistent workings of the AV or beast talk. The thinking that gets the idea of drinking into the picture and eroding resolve. The idea, even just the idea, of possible future drinking . It's unsettling and can make you question your own resolve, which is why making a BP, Big Plan was so helpful.
The thinking along the lines of me faltering in my resolve in the future is enough to seem to be able to lessen my resolve in the "now". And it's a trick, because in my current now , I'm not drinking . I only have to worry about now, because I only exist or can actually do anything now, this literal second. I'm confident I can handle this second without reaching for a drink, but what if I want to reach for one tomorrow and don't stop myself....ect. I realized you only have to focus on the now, this one , oops well that one. , see the news keep happening and I handled them just fine. How I may handle the future ones don't have a bearing on this one. After your meeting will be a now to get through, I am confident you will, just like the other nows of these past weeks(goodonya btw).
A BP that says I will never drink again, gives the AV notice that in any specific now the answer will be the same, no I don't drink(.) starve the AV out , it will tire and slink away. When it pops up " no , I will never drink now" will send it packing. Just let the nows add up. In the beginnings there can be lots of those mows, but the more the answer is the same the less it will pop up. We only ever live and can act in the actual now, and you got that (this)
The thinking along the lines of me faltering in my resolve in the future is enough to seem to be able to lessen my resolve in the "now". And it's a trick, because in my current now , I'm not drinking . I only have to worry about now, because I only exist or can actually do anything now, this literal second. I'm confident I can handle this second without reaching for a drink, but what if I want to reach for one tomorrow and don't stop myself....ect. I realized you only have to focus on the now, this one , oops well that one. , see the news keep happening and I handled them just fine. How I may handle the future ones don't have a bearing on this one. After your meeting will be a now to get through, I am confident you will, just like the other nows of these past weeks(goodonya btw).
A BP that says I will never drink again, gives the AV notice that in any specific now the answer will be the same, no I don't drink(.) starve the AV out , it will tire and slink away. When it pops up " no , I will never drink now" will send it packing. Just let the nows add up. In the beginnings there can be lots of those mows, but the more the answer is the same the less it will pop up. We only ever live and can act in the actual now, and you got that (this)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Originally Posted by dwtbd
Heh we cross posted, and look I was right
It's your resolve, just don't take yourself out of it. You got this
It's your resolve, just don't take yourself out of it. You got this
I'm happy we cross posted btw, your post was very inspiring.How good it feels to be sober now, and now, and now, and...
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by JerryFish
Something changed before the appointment. I noticed that I was thinking about the beer section in the supermarket with a strong feeling of wanting to drink. It was the only thing on my mind. But then I snapped out of it. I thought: "What am I thinking? I don't drink." The thoughts and feeling got set aside and I felt a lot better. After that they went away just like my previous two cravings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
This is a great thread JerryFish. You passed a difficult test with flying colors. Be proud of yourself. Sounds like you are rewarding yourself with some good sleep and what will be an awesome sober morning I'm sure.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
