A Functioning Alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1
A Functioning Alcoholic
I know I have a problem. I have tried quiting multiple times, but some how I allow my old habits to talk myself into thinking this one time will be okay. It doesnt stop there. I am 3 days in and I feel like I have no control.
I grew up in an alcoholic environment and I am only following in their foot steps. I find myself thinking Im not as bad as my parents were, but that is just part of the tricks my mind plays with me. The thing is I am well aware of my problem, but I am quick to relapse. I have an excuse for a drink every night. I had a great day. I had a bad day. Certain things like grilling out doors, friends, camping, fairs, stress, mexican food and many other thoughts triggers something in my mind that makes me think I need a drink.
Although I only drink in the afternoon, once I start I dont stop until I pass out. This is a reaccurance daily. It has disrupted my life in so many ways and there has never been anything good come out of it. There is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic... Because the end result is not successful in anyway. My step father was a so called functioning alcoholic, he drank all day, but his end result was his mental ability to allow himself to keep going and he committed suicide. Alcohol is a depressant and can ruin your ability to feel happy in a way that is true. I am well aware of my problem. I just need help... I need help staying on track....
I grew up in an alcoholic environment and I am only following in their foot steps. I find myself thinking Im not as bad as my parents were, but that is just part of the tricks my mind plays with me. The thing is I am well aware of my problem, but I am quick to relapse. I have an excuse for a drink every night. I had a great day. I had a bad day. Certain things like grilling out doors, friends, camping, fairs, stress, mexican food and many other thoughts triggers something in my mind that makes me think I need a drink.
Although I only drink in the afternoon, once I start I dont stop until I pass out. This is a reaccurance daily. It has disrupted my life in so many ways and there has never been anything good come out of it. There is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic... Because the end result is not successful in anyway. My step father was a so called functioning alcoholic, he drank all day, but his end result was his mental ability to allow himself to keep going and he committed suicide. Alcohol is a depressant and can ruin your ability to feel happy in a way that is true. I am well aware of my problem. I just need help... I need help staying on track....
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Welcome agrubb 
You've taken the first step, you've admitted to yourself and to us that you have a problem. I called myself a "functioning alcoholic", I thought that because I drank decent wine, had a job and got up every morning that I was "functioning" when in fact I was surviving. I've been living for the last two years and you can do this too.
You've taken the first step, you've admitted to yourself and to us that you have a problem. I called myself a "functioning alcoholic", I thought that because I drank decent wine, had a job and got up every morning that I was "functioning" when in fact I was surviving. I've been living for the last two years and you can do this too.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Welcome, and we do understand how hard this is.
You're right, there really is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic because alcoholism is progressive, so stopping is the way to deal with it.
You're right, there really is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic because alcoholism is progressive, so stopping is the way to deal with it.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,868
Welcome, agrubb! Glad you found us. You will find a lot of support here. Hope you'll stick around, post often and be sure to read around the forum. There is a lot of wisdom here.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Welcome to the forum, agrubb!
It's good that you know you have a problem and you want to quit.
Getting past 3 days was hard for me, too. There's a lot of great support here -- hang around & read and ask questions. You'll find a lot of ideas to develop a plan that will help you get & stay sober!
It's good that you know you have a problem and you want to quit.
Getting past 3 days was hard for me, too. There's a lot of great support here -- hang around & read and ask questions. You'll find a lot of ideas to develop a plan that will help you get & stay sober!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Welcome agrubb! I drank 7 days a week for 33 years. Like you, I had a million self deluding reasons to drink. Good day at work, bad day at work, sunny day, rainy day, dinner, friends, watching sports, and on and on. Somehow, drinking became intertwined with every single aspect of my life. I am at 90 days not drinking, and the everyday triggers to drink are overpowering at times. You can do this!
Hang on!
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by stargazer016 
Welcome agrubb! I drank 7 days a week for 33 years. Like you, I had a million self deluding reasons to drink. Good day at work, bad day at work, sunny day, rainy day, dinner, friends, watching sports, and on and on. Somehow, drinking became intertwined with every single aspect of my life. I am at 90 days not drinking, and the everyday triggers to drink are overpowering at times. You can do this!
Ain't that the truth. IMO, it starts as a social thing, then becomes a reward thing, then spirals into a crutch and finally a disability. There's always an excuse to drink. "Celebrate the good times", "That was awful! I need a drink", "Cheers!" and all the other ways the media shoves it into your face. And your brain buys it to the point it becomes part of you. Then everything becomes a trigger, a rationale to drink.
"The first hit is always free. Celebrate responsibly." ha!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome Agrubb. Yep, I was one that drank 7 days a week for 21 years. Graduated from college, held down well paying jobs, got married and had two kids. All while I was drinking.
I wasn't functioning I was just going through the motions to get to my next drink. What a sad way to waste a life. Glad I got my life back.
You are not alone and can get your life back too.
Welcome to SR.
I wasn't functioning I was just going through the motions to get to my next drink. What a sad way to waste a life. Glad I got my life back.
You are not alone and can get your life back too.
Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
this is all very 'normal' and familiar rationale.
"functioning" - is that what you want your life to be about.... merely "functioning"?
Ahh... when you find yourself looking at this level of "functioning" through sober eyes - you will see how dysfunctional it all was.
the good news is that you need not continue this cycle of delusion.
welcome, you've come to a good place. Read, let it sink in, share, listen... be open to what you hear.
consider that MANY of us have typed nearly the same story you just did.... I know mine shares many elements in common with yours.
From the vantage point of sobriety I can see how completely NOT functional I was despite many ways I fooled myself and others into believing to the contrary.
IT'S A LOT BETTER NOW.
#soberliferocks
"functioning" - is that what you want your life to be about.... merely "functioning"?
Ahh... when you find yourself looking at this level of "functioning" through sober eyes - you will see how dysfunctional it all was.
the good news is that you need not continue this cycle of delusion.
welcome, you've come to a good place. Read, let it sink in, share, listen... be open to what you hear.
consider that MANY of us have typed nearly the same story you just did.... I know mine shares many elements in common with yours.
From the vantage point of sobriety I can see how completely NOT functional I was despite many ways I fooled myself and others into believing to the contrary.
IT'S A LOT BETTER NOW.
#soberliferocks
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
HI agrubb, its clear you know what is happening. You've seen it first hand with your parents and you now see it in yourself. That puts you ahead of the curve. The next step is difficult, and that is taking action. You will find plenty of support and advice here. Welcome and I wish you the best.
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