Shame, embarrassment, realisation.
 

Hi.
I didn't realise I had a problem until this morning when one of my best friends told me I tried to sleep with her husband. I drank 3 bottles of wine and a quarter of vodka, didn't remember a thing and was told of my exploits today.

I'm so ashamed at my actions, I have never been that bad before. But after a good self loathing cry session I looked back on my drinking and I know I have a problem.

I'm hoping that being able to speak about things I can stop before this becomes a much bigger problem

Welcome to SR Porcha. Most of us have done things we regret while drinking/using, so you are not alone. The consequences of our drinking tend to get progressively worse, so congrats for making the decision to quit now before it gets really bad. Have you given any thought as to what type of plan or method you might use to get/stay sober?

Hello & Welcome Porcha youl find so much support here your not alone

Nice to meet you here is a SR link with hints & tips to building a plan http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

You may also find this SR link useful http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

You can print both to keep, have a good look around SR is a fantastic site for recovery

Hi Porcha

I can tell you from experience it doesn't stop on its own - it only gets worse. I'll spare you the details of my wasted years of blackouts. . . Things only got better when I made a plan to stop drinking. It's a simple joy waking every morning feeling refreshed from a good night's sleep, and remembering everything I did before I went to bed.

To be honest I have no idea where to start.

Luckily I don't have alcohol in the house so no worries for today.

I do know that I am going to have a hard look at my friendships, quite a few of them have their own drink problem and that's where I go crazy, I'm constantly thinking 'well I'm not drinking as much as X so I can't be that bad' and proceed to get wasted.

I do the exact same thing! It's just that little voice in our head that tells us what we want to hear so we can do whatever we want.

You are in the right place for a place to start :)

my wifes mother made passes at me and my wifes brother in law at my wedding. she was completely intoxicated at the time and probably doesnt remember. she also did the same at her husband at the times birthday party.

Men are probably guilty of the same stuff. But it always bothers me when I see women act as such because I dunno I sorta see it as they lower themselves by doing such things maybe they feel bad about themselves or maybe they just are simply drunk I dunno But I'd hate to see a women wake up the following morning having acted upon such things and have that feeling of disgrace wash over them where they feel shame etc.. Its a slippery slope and can easily lead to the next episode and then you end up with a beutiful person who feels so far from beuatiful as a result of just a few mistakes. We can be our own worst critic.

Treat yoursef with compassion
"nothing in this world is without blemish, so be gentle and kind to yourself when you stumble"

My point is most dare i say all people are really beuatiful etc.. But the choices we make can affect how we feel about ourselves if we do not feel good about ourselves or beuatiful it can easily just lead to more bad choices and such. This also ends up showing outwardly to others. Sometimes people see the beutiful you but you cant see past the view you have of your own self because well we can be our own worst critic.

Anyhow I hope I've helped and not offended but I hope you can break the cycle move forward. Good stuff tends to breed more good stuff etc..

Glad your here looking for help hang in there!

Welcome and I'm glad you found us.

One thing to know is that alcoholism gets worse unless you stop drinking. So, this is a good time to take the steps to remove alcohol from your life. We're here for you.

Porcha said: "To be honest I have no idea where to start."

You'll need to create a plan for sobriety which will involve changing your behavior.

1. You should check in with you doctor about how well you are physically and to seek advice in case you experience withdraw symptoms.

2. Read SR and learn about options for support (AA, therapy, etc).

3. If able, I believe in exercise in any form (gym, yoga, running, long walks, Pilates). It helps dampen my anxiety and makes for more restful sleep.

That will get you started. The longer you're sober, the more you'll learn. And if you have any questions or concerns, post them here. There are plenty of people ready to assist you along in your journey.

Trust me, if I can get sober, so can you. Wishing you the best.

Thank you all for your advice. I've went beyond embarrassed and into mortified now. I cannot believe I could ever do that to a friend 😑

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon, need to bite the bullet and be completely honest about my drinking habits.

From what I've gathered the first step is to admit something is wrong to myself, doesn't matter how much I tell others if I can't admit to myself it will never work!

Since the kids are on break I'll start exercises tomorrow, walking is the best start I think.

I'm hoping the fact I am not drinking daily is good and hopefully will make it slightly easier in the long run.

If I were you I would type a memoir of what you remember of that night, what you were told the next day, and then how you felt. Go into as much hideous detail as possible. Save it with password protection so you and you only can look back at it if u need to... I have done similar things, offended long term friends, done things I would NEVER do sober, but time takes the edge off the horror of the situations. Capture the horror now and then refer back to it if you need to. Good luck : ))))

Btw, I'm still drinking daily ( not daytime ) but "tapering" so I'm in no better place than you, lol x

This is a good place to be.

I could spout off all these excuses as to why I drink and yes maybe they are good ones but I'm fed up of justifying it. I can do something other than drink to help with my problems. I know this.

One day at a time, we can all do this

Welcome to the SR family. :) I'm glad you joined us. You'll find lots of support here. :)

I lost one of my best friends because of drinking so I know where you're coming from. Blacking out was one of the most terrifying aspects about my drinking, I was never a blackout drinker before but in the final month or so all of a sudden I'd wake up in my bed not remembering how exactly I got there, it put things in perspective and helped me realize I needed to quit or else I might wind up doing something really dumb in a blackout and hurt either myself or someone else. Realizing you have a problem is a vital step and wish you all the luck in the world.

Welcome!!

I have good news for you!!

You never have to feel this way again.

The shock and horror and shame and embarrassment can be forever banished from your life with three simple words;

'I don't drink'

Now, the hitch is.... You will also have to make the changes and do the work to support that statement... But if you do, your life will improve in ways you never dreamed.

Welcome porcha. I have done similar things. I tried to kiss my girlfriend's best friend at a party once and habitually would flirt with my friends' wives/gf while drunk.

I now know that I had social anxiety as a child/teen and alcohol allowed me to come out of my shell. For a long time, it worked, but as I built up a tolerance I needed more and more to get myself to be sociable to the point I was drinking myself into stupors where I couldn't really control my actions or words. That's when I would make a complete a** of myself.

You're not alone in your shame. Best we can do is stay sober and let our true good selves shine through.

thats an awesome idea! walking really helped me calm my mind and sort out my issues.

Porcha

I'm glad to hear that you're actively doing some things to get you on your path to recovery. Remember that you can do this - even when things get a bit hard.

Cheering for you!

Welcome to SR, Porcha. I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of July 2015 thread found on this same board. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are in early recovery.

My recovery got a lot stronger after I stopped looking for the differences between me and others and instead focused on the similarities, good and bad.

Well I've managed to get past 'alcohol time' it's now snuggle in bed and read time.

Although I have had an obscene amount of coffee today!